Monthly Archives: March 2017

Road To Portland: Part 23: The Bullshit Train Gains Momentum

Janice’s recent history had been beyond his control. He’d expected to get a hard time from his pals at the gym, from fight organizers, from everyone… Instead the world rolled out the red carpet. Frankly he’d been disappointed. He’d been … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 22: Buying A Ticket On The Bullshit Train

It is common to think you’ll recognize the best day of your life. Quite the opposite is true. Inflection points that alter bad trajectories and mitigate accumulated loss often pass beneath one’s awareness. In the case of Janice, he (or … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 21: The Allure Of A Life Of Crime

“There’s only one errand left and then we’re outta’ here.” Doogie announced to everyone’s relief. “Billy.” Doogie beamed. “You must commit a small crime which is the alibi for the larger one we are living. Ideally, you’ll get caught for … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 20: Sending Grandma Guy To His Fate

The “paperwork”, much of it sporting enticing digits preceded by a dollar sign, led Doogie to start a cottage industry in funds transfers, deposits via snail mail, and other nefarious activities… all with the squirrel’s delighted approval. Doogie planned and … Continue reading

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Creepy-Cute Robots

IMAO summed it up when they linked this with “Can’t Decide Whether to Hug It and Squeeze It and Call It George, or Kill It With Fire“. As for me, every time I see one of these things I immediately … Continue reading

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Random Thoughts

[Warning: This post is bitchy and has no point. Squirrels will ensue but not until I go through a recovery phase of Kleenex and medically necessary whiskey.] I came back from a trip and almost immediately got sick. Damn! Mrs. … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 19: When Grammar Hurts

Edna Kampsett was having a delightful on-line chat with a clever young fellow who called himself “Pedantic Man” when the FedEx truck dropped by. Ever spry despite her age, Edna scampered to the door and opened it. Thirty yards away … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 18: Chasing FedEx

Doogie and Billy, in a car laden with a skinny but rebounding bear and two exuberant squirrels, spent the next two days charging all over two states; chasing FedEx trucks. Doogie, who could drill through metadata like a champ, knew … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 17: Grandma Guy And The Detroit Gambit

Doogie’s dozens of purchases would be delivered to specially selected locations through a two-state region. Doogie had used the squirrel’s accounts to fund this. He hoped it would give the NSA something to chew on but not enough to catch … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 16: Expensive Automotive Repairs

Thousands of miles away the Analyst was seething. He was crumpling his car repair bill in his left hand and then smoothing it flat with his right. Then he’d alternate; crumpling with his right and smoothing it with his left. … Continue reading

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