Category Archives: Chapter 3 – Road To Portland

Road To Portland: Part 29: Best Day Ever

Upstairs in his apartment Janice was writing in her journal: 09:45 Buy a new cat. Ali the cat was perched out of reach on top of the refrigerator. He beamed with joy. He stretched and flexed his claws. Then he … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 28: You Go First

“That’s the third blender this week!” Cop #1 was keeping a list of things the unhinged Janice hurled from his apartment. “Broken window, shit flying out of it. That’s probable cause enough to knock on the door.” Said cop #2. … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 27: Free Beer

Resting in the passenger seat of the Subaru, Doogie was grinding his teeth while reading half of a newspaper. Billy had the other half and was grunting angrily at his section. The squirrels were asleep on the dash. The bear … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 26: A Good Throw

Across the street from Janice’s second floor apartment, two men in a sedan were observing. “Did you see the phone?” “I know. Who has a landline?” “Who throws one through the window?” “Yeah, there’s that.” “Good distance though. Dude could … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 25: Ali The Cat Knows The Score

Tyson, a high-strung cat, was having a bad day. Ali, a cat who never gave a shit about anything, was doing fine. Tyson was reacting to Janice, who owned both of them (presuming anyone truly owns a cat). Tyson was … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 24: Gertrude To The Rescue

The phone rang. Startled, Janice jumped. She began to tear up again but the steroids won over and he gritted his teeth. By the second ring, he was in a seething, white hot, murderous rage. Before the third ring could … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 23: The Bullshit Train Gains Momentum

Janice’s recent history had been beyond his control. He’d expected to get a hard time from his pals at the gym, from fight organizers, from everyone… Instead the world rolled out the red carpet. Frankly he’d been disappointed. He’d been … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 22: Buying A Ticket On The Bullshit Train

It is common to think you’ll recognize the best day of your life. Quite the opposite is true. Inflection points that alter bad trajectories and mitigate accumulated loss often pass beneath one’s awareness. In the case of Janice, he (or … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 21: The Allure Of A Life Of Crime

“There’s only one errand left and then we’re outta’ here.” Doogie announced to everyone’s relief. “Billy.” Doogie beamed. “You must commit a small crime which is the alibi for the larger one we are living. Ideally, you’ll get caught for … Continue reading

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Road To Portland: Part 20: Sending Grandma Guy To His Fate

The “paperwork”, much of it sporting enticing digits preceded by a dollar sign, led Doogie to start a cottage industry in funds transfers, deposits via snail mail, and other nefarious activities… all with the squirrel’s delighted approval. Doogie planned and … Continue reading

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