Tomorrow will be the final installment in Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels; Chapter 7: Thunderdome. I’ve spent a full month examining politically correct nonsense so I can take the best possible figurative dump on it. Have I succeeded? Are you entertained?
I’ve put up 21 posts since February 19th. That’s 58 pages of satirical bullshit. The entire story, which is yours to enjoy at Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels, runs to 304 pages. You’d think, after all that concentrated mockery, I’d be done. Wrong! There is just so much stuff to laugh at. (Edna would not approve of that last sentence. “There is stuff at which we laugh. Please find a better noun than stuff. Are you a troglodyte?”)
As UATK says, the story “wanders into the weeds to play with its toes from time to time” (A statement which I consider a compliment whether it was intended as such or not. I should tattoo it on my ass.) That’s the point. Bullshit is everywhere. It’s amazing really.
I can’t help but satirize bullshit. Why? Because to take it seriously is almost fatal to the soul. You gotta’ watch out. We must laugh or we’ll all end up like this guy.
Also, it’s fun. Some people stop to smell the roses. I take time to laugh at bullshit.
We live in a time of absolutely massive amounts of bullshit. There is still plenty left to be mocked. The vein of stupidity runs deep into the mountainside of dumbass and I’m going to mine it for all it’s worth. Not only is there the deep mineralized bullshit common to all eras, there’s a veritable landslide of “I just can’t believe this shit” laying there on the surface for my amusement. The whole thing is exacerbated by thundering herds of sheep who actually take this shit seriously. They’ll believe any damn thing the media tells them and it’s ridiculous that we let them near the steering wheel of civilization.
Sadly, I’ve got a real job and a transmission to finance. I must temporarily set aside the keyboard and attend to more mundane tasks. If you liked what you read, please consider donations via PayPal or Patreon. (I also accept silver, ammo, whiskey, and Dodge transmission parts). If you already donated, you’re obviously the greatest reader ever. Thank you very much. It makes a big difference. If you’re broke, I get it. Pay it forward when you can.
Here are the links for the most recent chapter. A full month’s worth of satire! Enjoy it. Tomorrow’s post is the last one for a while.
- The Squirrels Are Back!
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Thunderdome: Part 01: A Sure Bet
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Thunderdome: Part 02: The Van Plan
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 03: Gertrude Takes Charge
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 04: Garbage Disposal From Hell
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 05: Alchemy And Sports Medicine
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 06: The Inspector Arrives
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 07: Pregame Trash Talk
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 08: How The Hook Was Set
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 09: Audi Kill Zone
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 10: Scouts Go Hunting
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 11: Redneck Ship Of Theseus
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 12: Marching Hammers
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 13: War With Eastasia
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 14: Release the Kraken
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 15: Cell Phone Thief
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 16: Muscle Car Undercarriage
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 17: Woof
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 18: Slutburger on the Prowl
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 19: We Were Promised Fireworks
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 20: Those Were Good Fireworks
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 21: Slutburger’s Job Interview
Finally.
I can’t read in parts.
Chapter 7 here i go.
It’s waaaaay more fun read all at once. You’re going to love it!
I object to the term “Bullshit” for what is happening in real life. It’s not good enough to be bullshit so I downgrade it to chickenshit.
There is plenty of it though … far more than enough to go round! >};o0
I do NOT classify your squirrel saga in the same category as real life. It is more sane and believable than the three ring clown circus that is going on at the moment, which, if you think of it, is worrying.
What’s also worrying is that I rack my brains trying to think of the stupidest possible situation and then make sure it’s mishandled in the most extreme manner… and yet it’s often not quite as unhinged and irrational as real life. Half the time shit happens in real life before I even get a satirical post live.
For example, right now the Suez Canal is blocked by some damn fool who can’t pilot his ship. I’d considered a random side story about extreme greeters wrecking the Panama Canal in some silly way. Filled with jello? Run the locks on Windows 8! I hadn’t decided. Then I rejected it as too silly. Yet today the Suez is blocked… in real life.
How many people had that on their 2021 bingo cards?
When I’m bitching about the collapse (perhaps regression is a better word) of civilization I say things like this: “They could land a human on the moon in 1973 and now we can’t [fill in the blank].” Somehow the inability to pilot a ship though a canal didn’t shock me but taking six days to get the damn thing back into the water… that’s a new world level in ineptitude. “We’re the guys in charge of one of the most important canals on planet earth… but it’s clogged. Fuck it, we’re all out of ideas. Maybe when the tide comes it’ll work itself out.” No wonder there are people with theories about Ancient Aliens building cool shit. The Suez Canal was clearly built with a level of technological competence different from this month’s inability to maintain it.
So here goes: “In 1973 they could land a human on the moon, provide him with a little moon jeep to drive around, and get him back. In 2021 it takes a week to get a boat off the sand in the Suez Canal.”
How am I to write satire in such a word? I think in honor of the Suez canal I’ll watch Idiocracy again this weekend. 🙂