This post is part of Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels. The most recent post will be at the top and earlier posts will appear beneath it. If you want to see the whole story in the proper order go to the Lesbian Squirrels Main Page.
If you want to follow this chapter in order, the links are as follows:
- The Squirrels Are Back!
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Thunderdome: Part 01: A Sure Bet
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Thunderdome: Part 02: The Van Plan
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 03: Gertrude Takes Charge
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 04: Garbage Disposal From Hell
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 05: Alchemy And Sports Medicine
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 7: Part 06: The Inspector Arrives
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 07: Pregame Trash Talk
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 08: How The Hook Was Set
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 09: Audi Kill Zone
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 10: Scouts Go Hunting
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 11: Redneck Ship Of Theseus
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 12: Marching Hammers
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 13: War With Eastasia
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 14: Release the Kraken
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 15: Cell Phone Thief
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 16: Muscle Car Undercarriage
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 17: Woof
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 18: Slutburger on the Prowl
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 19: We Were Promised Fireworks
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 20: Those Were Good Fireworks
- Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chapter 07: Part 21: Slutburger’s Job Interview
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The Van Plan
Brett Alverson was a damn fine graduate student. His thesis, “Avian Components of Riparian Ecosystems” was well thought out, carefully researched, and boring. He was going to defend his thesis soon. When he got his hard earned degree he’d be serially underemployed while making student loan payments until he died. His brother, a welding foreman on an oil rig, had a high school degree, a new truck, a hot wife, and ample savings. He referred to Brett as “Dr. You Want Fries With That.”
Despite the odds against him, Brett had two cards to play. The first was Cindy Leachman. She was the university’s sole female electrical engineering major. Intelligent but reclusive, she was a technical whiz. She’d made a business plan based on both their skillsets. The second was… Well he didn’t want to let the secret out just yet.
Cindy met Brett at the lobby of the university’s communication hall, or as students called it “Che Guevara’s Jockstrap”. “The Che” was the burnt, fizzled, exhausted structure that once instructed students in the long forgotten, entirely problematic, skill called “Literature”; named as such because the last non-socialist to receive a Literature degree was from 2005 and that was only because the staff was in shock after Hunter S. Thompson’s unexpected suicide. The “Jockstrap” was the sagging deflated basement beneath the Che. It housed the utterly ruined major called “Journalism”; where they were known to genuflect at a small altar of Bob Woodward.
There hadn’t been legitimate studies of journalism since the Berlin Wall fell in 1989 but there’s a lot of ruin in any profession. As recently as twenty years ago the “Jockstrap” had a fielded a “News Van”. Even as journalism descended into full-on communist propaganda, the department had funded the “Action Seven News Team,” a public access weekly news program. With time, the program had become a bi-weekly, all mime, naked, Punch and Judy show. Parked out back, an impressive but obsolete Ford Econoline 350 with gaudy graphics and a huge retractable radio communications antenna was the sole reminder of former glories. Internally, the van hosted an impressive array of audio and video processing hardware; all of which was long obsolete. Cindy could replicate most of it with a Raspberry Pi and a WiFi connection.
None of that mattered. What mattered was that Cindy had created a business plan that would generate a legitimate profit and put keys to the “News Van” in her hands. There was only one reason she’d gone to all that trouble. Cindy needed a vehicle.
That Cindy found it more logical to structure a non-profit wildlife based documentary series than take out a car loan, tells you all you need to know about Cindy. Besides, she was the only student in town that knew how to drive a manual transmission.
Brett was fresh faced and eager. He was carrying a briefcase. He nodded to Cindy and they entered the graffiti laden front door to “The Che”. It was go time.
Go Cindy! I like a woman who can handle a stick. (comment about double-meaning has been self-censored)
The first paragraph almost made me snort tequila ‘n pepsi out my nose.
Don’t judge me by my drink choice, one does what one must in these “interesting” times.
The rule for tequila is if you can keep it down, it’s a good mixer for tequila. (Try El Jimador… good stuff.)
Glad you like Cindy. We all lust for a woman with a stick shift van. Also I had a short fling with a Dodge B200 and it was sweet!