Adaptive Curmudgeon

Halloween used to be my favorite holiday. It’s sad I’m not celebrating today. It just didn’t happen this year.

As a kid I actually preferred Halloween to Christmas. (The best kind of holiday would involve running around in the dark while wearing scary homemade costumes! How can you not prefer that? Sure Christmas has presents but nothing says fun like tearing around a neighborhood in the dark while dressed as Dracula! For the moment, let’s leave the the true religious meaning of Christmas for Peanuts specials. I’m talking about the shallow dumb shit level of understanding a tyke aged Curmudgeon had. I’ll always take experiences over stuff. Chocolate eggs are cool but if Easter meant scuba diving in a shark cage I’d have been all over that shit! What? You think all kids are greedy little Gordon Gekko clones? Of course they aren’t!)

Anyway I’ve been out of the loop and I haven’t so much as carved a pumpkin this year. It’s a shame. To make up for being so lame, I wanted to share one vignette in honor of the season.

Not long ago, in the middle of nowhere, just before sunset, I met a guy that looked like this. No shit… really! I didn’t get a photo but it was a thing that happened.

I wasn’t afraid of a damn thing. I was standing by the side of a deserted road carrying a chainsaw and not far from my shotgun. Like many men, if a classic horror movie wants to go down around me, it’ll be something to which I’ve been looking forward. Also, I can’t get the heebie jeebies in the forest because the forest is my place. If you want to see me nervous, drop me in a shopping mall. If you want to see me freak out, put me in a high school.

Anyway, I loved the guy’s mask! I waved happily, just like a moron:

A little bit later, after sunset, I started a fire while alone in the shadow of a little pioneer church. That particular night there was nobody around for miles so I could make noise; which I did by cranking my little shortwave radio. I was open to anything, but what I found that night was Rob Zombie being inexplicably broadcast from somewhere random. It was Superbeast. Yep, I was dancing around a fire in the dark to Rob Zombie. Happy Halloween!

When I was looking for the Superbeast video I found a video that’s much easier on the eyes.

One complaint, what’s with Rob limiting women to shitty little cruisers with buckhorn handlebars? Has he no idea the heart stopping effect of a woman on a sportbike? A Ducati 996 is so sweet that even underfed vegans like “Trinity” look good on one. (Warning: Rob Zombie is at the second standard deviation of dumb, a clip from one of the zillion Matrix sequels is far greater level of mindlessness. You might kill brain cells watching the dipshit stunts they pasted together for “The Matrix Part 45, Rehashed Clichés”.)

Simon Sarris has some thoughts that I’ve entertained myself but never articulated nearly so well. Go read “The most precious resource is agency”. He speaks of a childhood locked in rote education robbing children of the opportunity to do meaningful work and thus to exercise agency in their life.

”We seem to have a political (public) imagination so shallow that it cannot conceive of what to even do with children, especially smart children. We fail to properly respect them all the way through adolescence, so we have engineered them to be useless in the interim.”

And

“Seizing opportunity requires opportunity to exist at all. And I suspect the downplaying of agency in childhood not only creates fewer opportunities for great people, it must also create more marginal people.”

I remember well whining in high school that most of the things being taught were pointless. (Only later did I learn how much I learned was obsolete or just plain wrong!) I pined for control and fled school for work as soon as I could. I was employed and struggling to “adult” 3,000 miles from home long before I could legally buy beer. Later, when I re-entered college, the land of lotus eaters, I never stopped eyeing the exit and the instant I had the necessary degree I was gone like a flash. It was agency I needed, even if I didn’t understand it at the time.

I sincerely hope the vast increase in home schooling is benefiting at least some of the smart and capable kids out there.

Hat tip to Chicago Boyz.

I’m. Going. Camping.

What? You though it was some other phrase? Surely you jest!

I’ve been busier than a one legged man in as ass kicking contest. I need a break. Also, there are clouds on the horizon. We all know it’s not going to be sane the first week or two of November. It behooves us all to build a reserve of chill in these last minutes before something* happens.

I’ll be off line for a few days. It’s a good thing to do. Cartman, my spirit animal, expressed my attitude about media and politics right now: “you can go nyah, but I’m going over nyah.”

*I have no idea what something will happen. Frankly, nobody does. But we all suspect it’ll suck. It doesn’t have to suck. It’s possible that everything progress in a reasonable and orderly manner befitting a rational society of adults, it’s also possible that I’m a Chinese jet pilot.

Uncertainty:

Future historians will have to decide. Is it year 2 of the “Bidenverse” or year 6 of “the left lost their shit because Hillary Clinton wasn’t crowned“? (I haven’t a name for the latter: “Orange-athon”? “Trump-ocalypse”? “Cheeto Jesus and the Harpy”? Nothing flows off the tongue like “Bidenverse”.)

Hell, maybe historians will say we’re in year 89 of “Franklin Delano Roosevelt perpetuates the Great Depression and aims America at a commie collapse“? Nobody in history knows what the future will think of their time. What we call “The Great Depression” was called “Tuesday” back in the day.

At any rate, shit is weird and getting weirder by the hour. We’ve been destabilized by starting at the baseline of crazy and then going stark raving mad. There’s not enough Kool-Aid in creation to make current times seem stable. By now, everyone and their dog is grudgingly accepting “this ain’t right”. In 2020, I referred to 2019 as “the before times” and people thought I was exaggerating. Now, everyone agrees. We all think “before the Covid flip out” is a different era.

We’re chained to the “what stupid thing have they done now” roller coaster. You get up in the morning, pour your coffee, and then find out what fresh hell has already been unleashed upon your day. You never quite know what will happen, only that something will. It’s usually initiated at levels where adults are supposed to be in control; indicating they’re not.

There’s a thousand ways to go nuts…

It starts by listening to nutcases. Maybe a 40 year old freaky loser in a speedo and leopard print tank top insists on teaching sexuality to your kindergartener. Or maybe it’s a clueless teenager. There’s nothing new about an autistic teenager bitching at everyone. This time and for no apparent reason people listened to her! She’s too dumb to know how it’ll affect your heating bill in Maine and so is everyone who listened to her.

Bankers used to be staid, now they’re starry eyed dipshits. They’ll do anything but their job. The whiff of reality is catching up with them too. Maybe PayPal wants to rob you, Wells Fargo did something funky and is mired in another lawsuit, or Twitter is considering everything but stock valuation when Elon wants to buy them. None of this is a legitimate banker’s job.

Maybe you’re wondering when the jackbooted thugs are coming for you? The president gave a speech about the portion of the American citizenry he wants punished (everyone who didn’t vote for him). You know if you’re on his shit list. You know what he wants to do to you. The only question is if he has the power.

Maybe you’re on the other side? You can’t wait for those rural redneck bastards to get incarcerated, but your urban shopping mall is under siege and some dude shit on the lawn while stealing your bicycle. Is that the better side to be on? It seems to me that both sides are miserable.

Remember when political prisoners were in far off places like Bulgaria? Now it’s right here in River City! Prisoners are approaching two years in the tank awaiting trial. We all wonder which FBI plants got to skate leaving their victims to get tagged for “parading”. Did you ever hear of the crime of “parading” before the Bidenverse? A world where lawyers and judges argue over American political prisoners who “paraded” is one where adults are not in charge. Maybe nobody is in charge.

Society reels with what I call “madness hangover”; that feeling you get when you look back and think “how did something that crazy happen to me?”. Maybe you’re still financially recovering from getting shitcanned when you didn’t take the vax. Maybe you willingly took the vax because the TV guy was wearing a lab coat and you got sick anyway! Now you wonder if your heart will implode. If you reluctantly took the vax to keep your job, what further indignity your employer inflict on you next time?

Anyone with modest reasoning ability (on both sides of the spectrum) is watching the truth trickle out. None of it looks good. The crazy conspiracy guys were more right than wrong. The economy is toast. Your neighbor wears a mask alone in her car. The lady down the street became a shut in. Your kid missed two years of school and is noticeably stupid. Did it have to be that way?

I’ve seen this before; though in a lower dose. There was a time in the 1970’s and beyond when nothing went right. Inflation went apeshit, gas got expensive, an ice age was going to freeze us all to death, and AIDS had everyone terrified (Fauchi was mucking about back then too). Tragically, people listened to disco! The cars sucked, the speed limit was 55 MPH, and there was no craft beer.

The only good news is that most people figured the elections were fair and in most places (outside of Chicago) then might well have been. The press sometimes (even if by accident) told the truth. And we won an epic hockey game in 1980. That was nice.

Crime was soaring but I don’t remember being afraid of the cops. Nor do I remember cops standing by while looters and arsonists ram amok. They at least tried.

I don’t remember the president trying to go after people’s livelihood. Nobody sane talked about the military attacking Americans in America, so that was nice. But I was just a kid; maybe all that shit happened too.

Foreign policy now is a lot like the shitty 1970’s, you can always count on misled nations to inch toward nuclear war. Something about “imaginary until it happens” attracts losers to nuclear Armageddon. It’s usually “leaders” who really really really suck at actual wars. Mutually assured destruction is back baby! President More Votes Than Any Other President has been reliving the Cuba missile crisis as if that was a fun time. It sucked! Who wants to repeat that!?!? What’s next, a Bay of Pigs invasion? Back then it was Kennedy against Cuba (you’ll notice how well he liberated Cuba). Now we’re playing USSR’s role and Ukraine is playing Cuba. The Soviets Union is long gone and the Russian Federation is pissed but nobody in DC seems to know. They never updated their map. Or will the next war be Biden versus Baltimore?

Anyway, it is what it is. Shit got chaotic because the normal limits were not maintained. Nobody knows who’s in charge. Right now, the consent of the governed is not linked with the people in power.

Which brings me to November 8th, 2022. In 21 days there will be mid-term elections.

It’s an opportunity! It could be a moment of healing! It doesn’t matter who wins so long as we see the wise and honorable transmission of power from old to new. If everything goes down squeaky clean and transparent it could restore trust in the systems which…

BWA HA HA HA HA… no fuckin’ way!

The idiots who drove the car toward the cliff are determined to maintain course all the way to the bottom. We aren’t going to have a sudden outbreak of wise leadership. Many people really do need to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

Of all the things that could have happened in the last two years to restore confidence only a few came to fruition. Is it enough? Nobody knows. All we know is that something will happen in 21 days. Hopefully it’ll be fairy clean. Anything short of a total clusterfuck would be a good sign.

If it’s ugly and nobody knows who “really won”, I don’t know what will happen but it’ll be messy. Whatever form it takes, it’ll suck and I want nothing to do with it.

Certainty:

Chaos can get ya’ down. But that’s just the world of man.

Have no fear, there’s something better! Beyond The Black has our back!

God bless that blog! No matter how chaotic our circus world gets, something awesome will happen in 2023 and something even better in 2024. Remember this:

Nothing anyone on planet earth does, no matter how stupid and destructive, can stop the glory and beauty of an eclipse.

Hang your hat on it. The skies will blaze forth in a display of glory and beauty. I’ll shine on all; good and bad, dumb and wise, innocent and tyrant… nobody can stop it.

That’s the best part of a celestial event. The distracted and stupid society of barely evolved apes beneath cannot destroy it. I’m making plans for those two events. You should too; especially the full eclipse. If you want to see the universe… go to the right time and the right place. Look for yourself. Don’t watch it on TV. It’s not the same. Be there or be square!

Now you’ve got something for which to look forward. Good luck.

A.C.

P.S. Here’s my story of 2017:

• Eclipse Advice
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 01
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 02
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 03
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 04
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 05: It’s All About The Meatloaf
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 06
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 07
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 08
• Eclipse 2017 After Action Report: Part 09: Carly Simon Is Pissing Me Off

Y’all know I’m fascinated with earworms… after all, it’s just a hop skip and a jump from an earworm to drinking Jim Jones‘ Kool Aid. Picture of Jim Jones below:

Huh, nobody’s laughing. Too soon? OK fine, here’s a photo of the head of the CDC:

Ahhh… so where was I? Oh yeah, earworms, the mind control we can all agree we’ve actually recognized. It occurs to me that folks might think earworms are a modern thing. Wrong! We monkeys have been planting tunes in each other’s skulls since the first caveman drilled holes in a femur and made a flute.

Lets start with an earworm from 1899. Maple Leaf Rag is one of my favorite tunes. Simple yet catchy. Timeless yet also the instant signifier of an era. As soon as you hear it your mind immediately recognizes the sepia toned era. Sometime between the turn of the century and the great depression.

Scott Joplin was a genius. His music was a complete mindblower in his time and it still rocks. If only it had been at the time of AM radio Joplin would’ve wound up living in a solid gold house. Here’s a photo of popular musician from 120 years ago; Scott Joplin.

For comparison purposes, here’s a photo of popular musician from right now; Lizzo.

Enough wallowing in modern crapulence. Here’s Duke Ellington and the boys showing us how it’s done.

Take the A Train was a standard, meaning everyone could play it. I think it’s from 1939 but I wasn’t there so what the hell do I know? Duke Ellington nailed it and made it his own. This clip is a movie from 1943. Talkies baby! That’s where the action was at!

By the way, I don’t recognize the singer. It’s the right time to be Billie Holiday but it sounds too high pitched for her excellent voice. I’m not good with faces. I simply assume it’s not her. It’s my assumption if Billie Holiday and Duke Ellington occupied the same stage, the planet would probably implode as the galactic cool factor overcame Newtonian Physics.

Also, I should have known but if you google Billie Holiday from the middle of the Bidenverse (year of our decline, circa 2022), you’ll get buried in clips of Strange Fruit. A good song for sure! But such a shame to nuke the woman’s massive accomplishments and many good songs just to highlight one that’s overtly political. I like Strange Fruit but it’s not, in my humble opinion, her best singing. It’s certainly not an earworm.

This next song isn’t much of an earworm either. Depending on your generation you might not resonate with you. It’s from before my time but I’m an odd duck and love it. I’m providing it to remind us all that not every song is an autotune nightmare.

That song was the Chordettes in 1954. Simply beautiful.

Now that I’ve got you all chilled out, let’s switch from Mr. Sandman to Enter Sandman (Metallica, 1991).

Is all your chill gone? Good!

Let’s wrap this up shall we? The last clip isn’t an earworm. It’s a fictional portrayal of Mozart being simultaneously a genius and a shithead. I always loved this scene. Mozart was the heavy metal of his time and he was genuinely brilliant. For us modern nitwits, that think music in old timey days was all stuffed shirts and powdered wigs remember this, if Mozart was born today he’d be filling arenas while pissing off every record company in creation. Mozart would have cancel culture chasing his ass from day one. He probably wouldn’t care.

Mozart starts getting his freak on around 7:00 so I timed the clip to start about then.

Have a great Monday y’all:

Thanks for buying a coffee! Y’all know who you are! Also to the fella that was like “fuck it, I’m using PayPal”; you’re a classic bad ass! In fact everyone here is filling me with a little faith in humanity. We may be in the Bidenverse but not everyone is a boring chump. Thanks!

Unfortunately, things have gotten ahead of me. My HAM radio fiddling is working but slow. (Thanks for the advice everyone!) I’m stalled waiting on an antenna from Amazon. (Virtually none of what I needed was available locally. The day Amazon goes woke is the day I break free of the material world; look for me fishing next to a van down by the river.) That’s the thing with HAM radios, they’re specifically NOT plug and play.

That and other things mean I’ve fallen behind in a planned post. I decided to do a blog clipshow. I had some links I’ve wanted to post but never got around to it. There’s no rhyme nor reason to my selections, they just suit my fancy. Today’s the day to be random.

First we begin with my only reaction to the bridge in Crimea:

Here’s a version with commentary by period appropriate satirical morons:

Since we’re going through another “nuclear crisis” (which I think is really a “bad leadership crisis”) I was reminded of the Cold War. I decided to add one of my favorite songs from the darker time to which elites seem to want regression. I remember when East Germany was East Germany and when the Soviet Union was the Soviet Union. That was bad shit that anybody sane would prefer to avoid.

It ended about as well as ever could be hoped but then fruit loops among us decided to play the whole thing on repeat locally. Why!?! “That sucked when it happened to those people over there, lets shove it up our own ass right here in River City!” The mind boggles.

Doubt me? Remember it’s only a year since Americans were informed they would be legally unemployable without an injection. Imagine creating an underclass by law and on purpose. That’s the kind of shit you get when managers have more power than merit. They seek to impose spreadsheets on actual humans and start breaking eggs to make omelets. It only paused when people like me (and presumably you) said “fuck that”. It wasn’t cattle cars yet; but the operative word was yet. It never would have ended if they had the power to keep it going. It was a damn close thing that ‘aint over yet!

It’s also weird that people who know the cold war that ended somehow don’t know the cold war ended. I’m getting pretty frustrated with people who haven’t figured out that life has changed. Even if Putin is a genuine Bond villain the Russian Federation is not the USSR. Destabilizing the whole world to expand NATO with which to hold back a Warsaw Pact that no longer exists? Who came up with that and did they ever play Risk? I remember when nobody knew who ran the Kremlin; now I live in a world where nobody knows who’s calling the shots in DC.

For those that pine for the drab days of bleak iron curtain misery, I present Falco:

If you don’t speak German (I don’t) here’s a translation. I’ll post a bit of it:

“Don’t turn around, look, look,
the Commissioner is out and about!
He’ll keep his eye on you
and you know why.
Your zest for life will kill you.”

That’s a thing to ponder… people for whom someone else’s zest for life is a threat.

I’m glad that time is over. I don’t want anything to do with anything going on in either Ukraine or Russia. I’m enemies with nobody out there. I shoulder responsibility for neither.

For no particular reason, here’s a photo of Archduke Franz Ferdinand:

Those who do not know history are doomed to fuck things up.

If you’ve scrolled this far you’ve got Falco stuck in your head and are sick of my overly serious pontification. Touché! Here comes something utterly irrelevant. It’s the most deadly earworm of all:

That shit is hardwired! I joke about squirrels and Abba but Falco had a mind like a vise. He could probably run us like robots had he wanted. Also, you’ll be hearing the song for hours… you’re welcome.

One last link: Click to see the whole two hours of Batman remastered as a silent movie. I watched a few minutes and found it strangely beautiful. I like that such a thing exists. I’ll be watching the whole thing over the weekend. YMMV.

PayPal fucked around and found out. Everyone is dropping them and moving elsewhere. This is one time I’m following the herd.

This is a link to Buy Me A Coffee. You can send tips/donate there!

Details: Each “coffee” is a unit of $5. One coffee is $5, ten coffees is $50. If you want to donate a specific number like $123.89 you’ll have to convert to the nearest number of coffees. Why is banking now configured in coffee based denominations? I blame common core math but what do I know. Frankly it makes as much sense as anything else that’s happening and I do love me some coffee.

Good news is you don’t have to do a lot of stuff on your end. It’s like “click, boom, done”. Super easy. Takes 30 seconds or less. The other good news is I don’t keep anyone’s personal data… which is how I’ve always rolled.

It’s a one time thing. I haven’t figured out recurring coffee subscriptions yet. The people that make whimsical banking interfaces think in too many unicorns per terawatt for me to figure out that part of the setup.

Please donate if you wish. People who donate to squirrel based bloggers are more attractive to the opposite sex, get higher MPG, and have better hair. This is scientifically proven in the study I just made up.

A.C.

P.S. If you still want to donate via PayPal or Patreon go for it. I’m keeping those links live for now. (Links are on the sidebar at the right.)

Before I begin my next camping story, I need to address blog logistics in the woke realm.

PayPal borked itself. Bwa ha ha ha!

My reaction is laughter at the hilarity of morons. How can you not enjoy the show? It’s not like we haven’t seen every online platform and most large corporations go woke like lemmings jumping into a wood chipper. It’s not like any of them have reaped soaring stock prices after doing the deed. Sooner or later the urge to SJW suicide was coming to PayPal. A predictable event gives you a chance to anticipate it and so it had no affect on me. Also, please keep showering me with tips in whatever new system I setup AND the legacy PayPal link I’ll keep up for a while.

Just before I left to go camping last week, PayPal announced it would steal up to $2,500 if they “felt like it”. OK they actually said “misinformation” but we live in the Bidenverse. In our world of universal deceit, “misinformation” has literally no other meaning than “we inhabit one side of the political spectrum and enjoy behaving unethically toward the other half”. The fact that people will destroy their own business doing so is the punchline to the joke.

I’m not going to pretend to care about PayPal’s terms of service. Who would? They were lining up for straight up theft. They deserve what is happening to them now. Nor does telling the truth have anything to do with “misinformation”. There are countless examples of “misinformation” that turned out to be 100% true.

“Misinformation” justifies theft as a means of punishment for Wrongthink? Orwell you sexy bitch, you called it!

Do you remember a time before “misinformation” was a word? It wasn’t that long ago. Think hard. Try to remember the “before times”. “Trillion” only came into use when the Federal debt got ridiculous, “misinformation” only became everything that reflects poorly on one side the political spectrum when that side started (successfully!) censoring everything within its reach. It’ll stay that way until it changes. (Yes, I know that last statement sounds dumb but there’s a meaning and I hope y’all get it.)

We see the relationship between “misinformation” and bullshit already. Bullshit is the old way to lie, the new way is to label true things “misinformation”. Eventually it comes out in the wash. Soon even your elderly mother’s cat figures out the totality of the bullshit. As soon as that happens, kool-aid drinkers memory hole the whole thing and find some other thing to censor. The good news is a few more people learn to hate the media each time the cycle repeats.

Here’s some “misinformation” that nobody but the completely deluded still accept: “Hunter Biden’s laptop is a Russian plant”, “Russia, Russia, Russia… Trump did collusion and the Steele Dossier we paid for proves it!”, “This polar bear is sick because you keep too much of your own money”. My favorite is a recurring old time classic that’s been around my whole life: “gas in USA is unexpectedly expensive temporarily because of <someone or something that has hardly any influence on America’s energy policy> and it has nothing to do with the current president”. (Ah yes, the latter is words from Carter and Obama repeated through the drooling mouth of Biden. Presidents that mismanage energy policy always blame some external force.)

Other facts are still going through the “misinformation” digestive process. For a little while it’s still possible for a sane person to go along with the narrative. It doesn’t last. Everyone with basic reasoning skills knows where it’s going. In due time, the evidence comes clear and everyone save the true cultists accepts that they were lied to. The sheep who got swept up in the moment pretend they knew it was crap all along. The rest of us smelled bullshit on day one but nobody listened. It’s neither your nor my fault people when people act in gullible herds.

Here are some examples of mid-digestion heresy. The truth is coming out slowly and painfully but inexorably… like a that time you ate four pounds of cheese and nearly lost your soul taking a dump 30 hours later. Here goes: “the 2020 vote was so squeaky clean you can eat off the Dominion receipt”, “the vaccine was necessary, safe, and effective, just like the crusty bandanna you wear alone in your car, and we didn’t mean it when we fired you from your job and made Grandma die alone”, “plucky glorious Ukraine is kicking mean evil Russia’s ass so completely Putin will be overthrown by his own people in June of 2022”, and “everyone in California will buy an electric car by 2030 which they’ll effortlessly charge on a grid that can’t reliably keep the air conditioners running in 2022”. When processing the narrative, remember to flush afterward.

Anyway, PayPal is just another pebble in the avalanche of stupid. I’m nobody’s bitch and you aren’t either. PayPal is a fart in a windstorm.

As a blogger, I read the announcement they sent and checked my account within the hour. Inside of 90 minutes, the account was emptied. Easy peasy. (I had like $53 in there.) That’s it. I spent my tiny savings and then went camping. PayPal could try to steal the $0 I left behind. Good luck with that! That’s how you deal with woke corporations.

My camping trip was short. By the time I got back within cell/wifi range PayPal was backtracking. “I didn’t mean to hit you baby, it was a misunderstanding , I’ve changed, please come back to me…” It didn’t last a single weekend! Can you imagine trying to say you’d “accidentally” written up a terms of service contract? “Why just the other week I tripped and accidentally wrote and published an update to my corporate warranty policy as I fell… these things happen.”

To quote Sarah:

“…what Paypal did was the equivalent of pulling down its shorts and shooting themselves where it hurts.”

Sarah thinks PayPal is already dead. She may have a point:

“For financial services to say “we will take your money at random, with no appeal” is like a restaurant saying “We will randomly poison you because we feel like it.” There is no coming back from that. They’re doomed.”

As for me, I’m too busy hunting gamebirds to get too worked up. Did I freak out? Nope. Did I cancel my PayPal account? Not yet, but I will eventually. Everyone is diligently looking for alternatives. I’ll wait and see what winner rises out of PayPal’s ashes. When I setup an account with whomever it is, I’ll post a link. I’ll either delete PayPal or leave it live but forever keep the account nearly empty. In the meantime, you can always send me tons and tons of cash ‘cause I’m so awesome!

Incidentally, adapting to woke assholes ought to be second nature now. It’s why my blog started on WordPress but it isn’t there now. (If you’re still on WordPress or Blogspot… fix that right now!) YouTube acts like tyrants so I never posted a YouTube video. I’m not on Twitter because very little intelligence ever got posted to Twitter. F***book grossed me out so much I quickly abandoned the idea. I don’t have my balls in PayPal’s vice because putting your balls in anyone’s vice is a dumb thing to do.

Note: Nobody else has gone there so I will…

While everyone’s bailing on PayPal it’s a good time to mention a fundamental flaw in the 500 pound showman gorilla in the room. The dumbest most boomerific failure the Orange Menace ever did was to whine about Twitter. Men do not whine. Men do not beg. Men adapt! Cheeto Jesus should have bailed on Twitter the exact hour they went full retard and banned him. Something about Trump, he has internal limits to his thinking about things like Twitter and Fauchi; he simply couldn’t see how badly he was being mis-treated. I’m not sure why.

He should have called a press event and handled it like this:

“As the human embodiment of all that terrifies the left I was banned from Twitter eleven minutes ago. Losers! All future press releases starting immediately will go out on this specific alternate venue which I own and host. I shall call it OrangeVerse and it’ll be yuge! I will also broadcast daily in 14 languages using a six bazillion megawatt shortwave radio station. I built the antenna, which is also yuge, on a floating platform. It’s located just beyond international waters off the shore of Delaware. I call it Radio Free Orange and my technicians say I’m using so much power that it will be picked up and audibly vibrate on barbed wire fences in Malaysia. Nothing can stop it! As for Twitter, they’re bad, very very dumb… and I’m going to crush them like grapes to make grape soda (I don’t drink you know). Also I’m writing 95 policy statements. I wrote them in crayon while I was flying in my big gold jet. I will personally nail the statements to Nancy Pelosi’s front door. Someone told me a German dude did that in 1517 and it really riled people up. I may be a rich blowhard but part of being a blowhard is never having to bend over for a social media platform. Twitter can suck my gigantic orange balls.”

See how easy that is? I’m a minor self-financed blogging nobody. Yet I have options that Captain Trumpster failed to seize for himself. I fear no clamping vice because I’m not in one. If a billionaire can’t figure it out that’s a big hole in his perception.

Don’t get me wrong, I love tips… the side income it really does help. But PayPal is replaceable. They can’t call the shots on my blog. I’ll write whatever I want. I like saying true things in a time of universal deceit. I like it when people enjoy my stories. If I ever feel chained by some “misinformation” rule set by a green haired mutant in a woke company, I’ll pull the plug on this blog myself. I’ll staple mimeographs of the squirrel stories to a telephone pole if I have to.

That’s one way to know your personal degree of freedom. Do you have the self-reliance and self-confidence to set your own rules and live accordingly? That’s why I didn’t fret about PayPal. There’s no need. I drained the account and kept on truckin’. They lost a big piece of their business model and I bought $50 in camping gear. They lose, I win.

Anyway, I don’t need to flee PayPal in terror, just saunter away. I’ll use it while they wither. I’ll find alternatives on my own schedule. I’ll ignore them when they die. Even Elon Musk is planning to move to Mars.

A.C.

P.S. No matter what, you should always feel free to send me tons of tips through any link on my site. I’ll pry that shit out of whatever corporate deebs circle such things and spend it righteously. It’ll either pay hosting fees or go towards fun stuff like bourbon, ammo, HAM radios, and motorcycle gas!

P.S. Some amusing links: F**k PayPal.