I recently mentioned the First Rule of Clown World (coined at Founding Questions):
“No matter how fake and gay you think it’s going to be (for any value of “it”), it will always somehow end up being so much faker and gayer.”
I ruminated about the Chinese Spy Balloon kerfuffle. I can imagine a reasoned world where America (or any of the few remaining serious nations) would shoot down Xi’s Barroon one inch inside their airspace. I can even imagine a slightly weird but vaguely logical world where America lets the Chinese Balloon drag its geopolitical nutsack across America’s face all the way to the coast… and then let it sail toward some other nation to see if the next nation downwind can react better.
But I could not imagine the fakest and gayest possible situation. America let China teabag half of the continental US and then decided to shoot the balloon down as soon as it’s over hard to retrieve salt water. Thus reacting decisively, but literally doing so only after the very maximum amount of embarrassment/spying had happened.
A serious nation would shut the barn door before the horse gets out. A stupid nation would shut the barn door after the horse gets out. Our monumentally fucked up mess of a nation waited for days until the horse was out, then shot the horse.
Truly, we live in an amazing universe.
But wait… there’s more!
Having completely mis-handled the situation clear from Montana to the Atlantic there’s still a faker and gayer way events could play out.
I hesitate to type it because the new face saving spin is so dumb it’s almost radioactive:
Presidential Spin: “Getting spy ballooned by the Chinese is no big deal. It happened three or four times under Trump.”
The Last Few Sane Americans: “That sounds like bullshit. I never heard of it.”
Presidential Spin: “We kept it secret. The military didn’t even tell Trump.”
The Last Few Sane Americans: “The fuck you say?!?”
Presidential Spin: “Yeah, so getting pantsed by China in 2023 is no big deal because China does this shit all the time.”
The Last Few Sane Americans: “Pull the other one, it’s got bells on it.”
Presidential Spin: “Sure! Biden got more votes than any other candidate in history. Yesterday we installed a fence before the president gave a speech. We did that to protect Democracy. We didn’t want to have to take more political prisoners.”
The Last Few Sane Americans: “When you tug you yank!”
So that was it. The story was over. It’s no big deal that we had a ChiCom Balloon floating over the heartland because it happens all the time. The ultimate fake and gay way for the story to play out.
Wrong!
Speaking of “radioactive” there was a faker and gayer option. Something so incandescently moronic I’d never even considered such a thing. America launched an ICBM at the Pacific Ocean.
The Last Few Sane Americans: “WHY ARE YOU FIRING NUKES?!?”
Presidential Spin: “It was a “routine” activity “intended to demonstrate that the United States’ nuclear deterrent is safe, secure, reliable and effective…”
The Last Few Sane Americans: “FIRING NUKES IS ROUTINE? ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH?”
Gen. Thomas A. Bussiere, Air Force Global Strike Command commander: “A test launch displays the heart of our deterrence mission on the world’s stage, assuring our nation and its allies that our weapons are capable and our Airmen are ready and willing to defend peace across the globe at a moment’s notice…”
The Last Few Sane Americans: “I’m supposed to believe that Chinese Spy Balloons have teabagged the Continental United States several times. But this time, and only this time, Americans saw it. Therefore, you concluded that it was a reasonable and intelligent response to sink the balloon in the Atlantic and fling an ICBM at the Pacific?”
Presidential Spin: “I give you my word as a Biden, the laptop is a nothing-burger.”
The Last Few Sane Americans: “What’s wrong with you? Launching nuclear weapons is dumb. It’s dumb at every scale from planetary to molecular. Have you been copying your homework from North Korea? North Korea is the only place that does that kind of shit and they’re fucking weird. Don’t be North Korea!”
Presidential Spin: “I’m hard core, Jack! Corn Pop was a bad dude.”
I don’t know how fake and gay things can get. I ran out of imagination years ago and I talk to trees!
All I really know is not over. It’s sixth week in the third year of the Bidenverse. An event that came about due to more votes than any other candidate in history appearing at 3:00 AM in specific locations. And that was just the start!
I can’t imagine what will happen but the remaining 46 weeks of the year. They’re going to be mind-blowing!
The reason Biden didn’t shoot it down earlier was because the Chinse would have taken the cost out of his pay.
It’s the only explanation I can think of.
“geopolitical nutsack”
that is the most profound and hilarious thing I have read all week. Also the saddest. You are a genius wordsmith and there is a reason I come here everyday.
Glad you like it!
Wish I could un see how gay and sad it is.
I’m thinking that talking to trees is OK, compared to sinking the country.
May the Sweet Kinzhal of death strike the sweet spot…or meteor, I’m not choosy.
Trees are far better conversationalists than anyone in any form of media (including me). If you want a conversation that is entirely true, talk to a tree. (The hard part is shutting up long enough to listen to what it’s telling you.)
faker and gayer yet, they are claiming they shot down an “object” over alaska now. captain willard said it best.”the bullshit rose so fast you needed wings to stay above it.” apparently we need helium too.
I wrote a blog post about this:
http://wendyworn.blogspot.com/2023/02/geopolitical-nutsack.html
Your take on it is as likely as any and possibly more likely that the current “it’s just normal clown world incompetence” narrative. In fact your theory that it’s a US domestic spying device is probably more logical than the idea of letting China do a full sweep for no good reason. It also explains only shooting it down AFTER it was in an inaccessible location. (Submerged in the ocean just off the coast obscures a lot of details that could be inconveniently obvious if it were downed on a Montana cow pasture.)
Glad you like my phrasing!
Actually it wasn’t the defense department that discovered the previous balloons but was the intelligence services that figured it out after the fact. Either way it exposed a hole in our air surveillance that needs to be fixed ASAP. Minuteman missile tests occur every year no warheads are involved.
Should we make a drinking game out of how many “High Altitude Objects NORAD will get shot down before they move on to a new distraction?
Someone said the Mass Media doesn’t care if you believe them anymore, they get paid to DO the Narrative that the Uni-Party-Deep State wants to propagandize us with today.
We now have Pravda 2.0
Do you really think they will release Epstein’s client list? Need I add Unredacted here?
A drinking game like that would kill us all!
Obviously Epstein’s clients will be protected. It’ll leak out in cribs and drabs but never be verified. We have systems in place to seek justice but they’re all corrupted. The FBI is now pretty much openly in the business of either hiding or committing crimes. Thus, nothing prosecutable will ever be clearly known but decades from now it’ll all be an open secret. It’ll be just one of dozens or hundreds of lies that we all know are lies.
Deepfake vids & totally-owned mediots are telling us the barroons are Chinese? I believe they were launched by the US as distraction from whatever they are really up to. Maybe in the ‘Kraine? And gee – for the first time in my life they are now deciding to test fire ICBM’s. Look – another squirrel!
How’s the stock market going? How is the financial system? Something sulphurous this way comes.
Fishy X 3 you might want to google that. Seems we fire one off about once a year and I suspect your more than a year old 🙂
We’ve fired more in response to North Koreas nuclear tests and have delayed some planned launches to reduce world tensions.
You might even find out that the Minuteman III is at its already extended lifecycle with no word from the Sockpuppet Administration about funding a new ICBM to replace it.
Hi Michael,
What are your glorious leaders up to that they don’t want scrutiny on is my real question. Lets focus on that eh?
No need to research minutiae about the various ICBMs. I don’t care one whit. I don’t live in your FUSA. My point is that I have never previously heard public discussions of your people test firing your ICBMs. Maybe you openly discuss such things in the FUSA. But we never hear of it here, which why it is mildly noteworthy.
A primer on real word testing of EMP
http://futurescience.com/emp/test184.html
A lot to read here but I note that the soviet tests were done at lower altitude, tiny warheads NOT designed for EMP.
The Chinese Balloon’s altitude with a EMP could be ah, BAD. As in never having the US power grid back up bad (since we BUY our Large Transformers custom made From China), let alone any nuclear reactor accidents.
Actually an EMP released at 60000 feet (where the Chinese balloon was) will only impact a small area under it. For an effective EMP you need one from an ICBM reentering over Kansas to effect most of the continental US.
And in other UNREPORTED upon News:
https://booksbikesboomsticks.blogspot.com/2023/02/that-would-be-bad.html
Pakistan, nuff said.
Is it a black swan if you ignore it?
Tam’s hit it on the nail, and not a damn thing we can do about it.