War With Eastasia

I’ve scooped The Babylon Bee! Babylon’s story Facebook Blocks Story That Says We Weren’t Always At War With Eastasia is pure gold:

“In recent remarks, President Joe Biden stated that we had always been at war with Eastasia. This had gone unmentioned by most of the press, but the New York Post wrote a story contradicting Biden’s remarks, giving evidence that until recently we had been allies of Eastasia. Facebook has now blocked this story from being shared on its platform.”

I had about the same thought about a month and a half ago:

The campus students, finely tuned to the zeitgeist of any moment, moved as one. It only takes the flick of a tail to drive a school of fish and the students were now all on their feet. Winston always carefully watched crowds. The closer they came to storming the castle with torches and pitchforks, the better it was to be the first guy holding a torch. This is how he managed to still have a job. Plus, it was fun watching the puppets dance.

. . .

Winston decided to ham it up even further. He grabbed Mascara Girl by the shoulders and shouted in her face “And that is why we have always been at war with Eastasia!” Mascara Girl began shouting back, carried aloft in the frenzy. “Fuck Eastasia!”

His wife was shouting in the other direction. Screaming at Robert Mublowski who was jumping up and down. “There are five lights! There are five lights!” Robert was shouting back “Five lights!”

It’s not every day you post a joke and then a month later the awesome folks at Babylon Bee do a similar bit. I’m pretty proud of that! (In case you’re wondering, the Eastasia bit came up in my serialized novel Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels, Chapter 7, part 12.)

Also, if you’ve no idea what this Eastasia thing is all about, drop everything and go read 1984. It’s a short book, it won’t kill you, and if you haven’t read it… you’re fucked. Honestly, it’s a big deal. If you just lived through 2020 without a basic smattering of Orwell, you might have bought all this bullshit; and that would be tragic.

While you’re at it, you might as well enjoy Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. If you haven’t read it, make sure you do so before you can’t.

Remember, the shit we’re living in 2020 (which has drooled over into the next year) was pondered well in advance. Orwell and Bradbury nailed it in 1948 and 1953 respectively. In broad strokes, everyone knew these times were coming.