Nothing make me happier than satire. It doesn’t get much better than this:
AN FAQ ABOUT YOUR NEW BIRTH CONTROL: THE MUSIC OF RUSH
by LESLIE YLINENWhat’s in it?
Every woman deserves to know exactly what’s in her birth control. Rush is a Canadian progressive rock power trio whose golden era is generally considered to be from 1975 to 1982. Thankfully, for your long-term family planning strategy, the band has an extensive discography that spans from 1974 to 2012.The music of Rush is marked by erratic signature changes, unconventional chord structures, heavy use of synthesizers and electronic effects, and, most importantly, lead vocals that sound like an ancient witch is being exorcised out of your body with live wires. In less clinical terms, imagine taking the most annoying parts of science fiction and Libertarianism, isolating them, and then somehow blending them up into a cursed musical slurry. Then, infuse that slurry with a distinctive incel vibe, and presto! You’ve got one of the most powerful contraception options on the market.
That’s just beautiful! Read the whole thing (it goes on for half a page and each sentence is better than the last).
It’s enough to make Geddy Lee’s full on hippie hair, which persists despite being a Boomer of the right age to be hawking medical insurance supplements and pricing a golf cart for orbiting a Phoenix retirement condo at 5 MPH, turn a tiny bit grey.
Now, before y’all jump to conclusions, I love Rush. My first speeding ticket was directly caused by a Rush cassette in a 35Watt car stereo cranking YYZ on a sunny open highway. That and the fucking 55MPH speed limit. (Oh, those were dark times indeed. I will never forgive mankind for making me endure such bullshit!)
I can even deal with Lee’s um… unique vocals. Why the hell not? We live in a word where people listen to Bob Dylan voluntarily. Anything is possible if Bob can have a Nobel in literature(!) while singing like that. Plus, much of what I hear of recent years is infested with the unforgivable horror that is autotune.
In fact, I like Lee’s voice, sometimes it’s just the thing. Just not too often. It goes down in the same way I sometimes want to slam a couple shots of cheap tequila just for the taste. That’s right boys and girls, I love me some tequila, just not every day.
It’s a fact that Rush merits good hearted mockery. Like this:
No one has ever gotten pregnant while listening to the music of Rush. Clinical studies show that when combined with watching a male sexual partner play air bass along to the extended solo in “Freewill,” the contraceptive efficacy of Rush approaches 100%.
Remember, I like the band. I’m just willing to admit it’s an acquired taste; and a relatively testosterone laden one at that. If Sinatra will get a lady in the mood, Rush will send her running.
In case you’ve never heard of Rush, you really should. Seriously, love ’em or hate ’em, you’re incomplete if you haven’t heard at least a few of their songs.
I’m linking to YYZ, an instrumental that spares the novice a headlong plunge of Lee’s singing. Note that it starts with the IATA airport identification code of Toronto Pearson International Airport. Yes, they heard morse code on a VHF aviation radio and said “fuck it… lets turn this into something that’s neither rock nor jazz”. Then Neil Pert set out to destroy his cymbals and the other two somehow managed to keep up.
Isn’t it nice to hear a three man band where they don’t just play instruments but they wring them out! Plus, half the time I listen to them I start wishing I had a better handle on the science of music theory. Enjoy the song; it won’t get you laid and it’s fun to mock but I still think it’s damn good music.
Hat tip to Cold Fury.
You give entirely too much weight to the asthetic opinions of women. It reminds me of King Crimson. Now I might have to take a break from listening to the 1940’s channel on my satellite radio during my commute.
Long time Rush listener here. I was stationed at Ft. Rucker, AL when I saw them for the first time in Birmingham. Blew. Me. Away. I’d been listening to them for a year or so prior and was really exited to see them live. As a wannabe-musician, what struck me (besides the music of course) was what I could only define as the “cohesion” of the three members. It was as if they had learned the Vulcan mind meld and employed it while on stage. Still get goosebumps after all these years when I listen to 2112.
“Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation.
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation.
Attention all Planets of the Solar Federation.
We have assumed control.
We have assumed control.
We have assumed control.”
If it’s too loud, you’re too old. ;- )
There are people who’ve never even HEARD of Rush? What fresh hell is this??? Seriously, there are people who’ve never heard Tom Sawyer? Fly by Night? Freewill? Xanadu*? Have we really failed our following generations so badly that they’ve never been exposed to the classics?
You know it never even occurred to me that Rush would be “controversial” or that they were a “love ’em or hate ’em” kind of band. I’m on the love ’em side and have been since I was in high school at an undisclosed decade in the last millennium. I never really paid attention to critics or read the music magazines or anything like that…I just know I like them.
I love a good rock band drummer and Neil was one of the best. He is missed.
*Xanadu always struck me as one of those songs that you really don’t grok unless you’re incredibly stoned…and I don’t do drugs so I’ve always kind of felt like I was missing out on that one. Oh, and for first time listeners, it’s not an instrumental…the lyrics start, like, 5 minutes in.
Rush is also one of the many bands of that era (and earlier) that never would have made it in today’s music world where being gorgeous is more important than the ability to make good music, Alex is average looking at best, Geddy is…um…not attractive and Neil was always hidden behind that massive percussion section.
Ooh, maybe my tastes were a bit eclectic on hindsight…another one of my favorite bands was the Alan Parson’s project. I loved their album “Tales of mystery and imagination” where they put several of Edgar Allen Poe’s works to music. Awesome stuff. Eric Woolfson did a solo followup to it many years later, It was OK, but not as good as the first one with Alan. But I digress.
Delurking here just long enough to say that if you want some Cliff Notes music theory on Rush, there is a guy on the internet that analyzed 2 of their songs. Rick Beato has a series ‘what makes this song great’ where he deconstructs a song to look at the contributions from the different musicians. Rush can be pretentious but musically they know their stuff.
Here are his Rush episodes (remove the space after .com):
https://www.youtube.com /watch?v=G_nWnyrvjdU
Ep 19 Closer to the Heart
https://www.youtube.com /watch?v=4P-yUOlOC5M
Ep 63 Limelight
I’ll check it out. I like Rick Beato.
Expletive. Never hear of Rick Beato until now. Thank you.
Rick Beato seems to be a genius about music. I’m not , but still love hearing about levels of music beyond me. I love music, but don’t understand it like he does. Highly recommended.
Rick Beato has a few interesting videos at his YT channel where he listens to the “top 10 songs” on Spotify.
The ones on “Pop” aren’t interesting because the music isn’t interesting. But one is on the “Rock This” playlist which tracks the top Rock songs – at least in the world of Spotify.
And his “What Makes This Song Great” series is usually interesting, especially if he is dealing with a song or a band that I like.
My introduction to Rush involved Scout Camp, a GE Loudmouth 8 track boombox, a bag of weed and a half gallon of Seagrams. I was one of the corrupted ‘innocents’ amongst a troop of party animals. I was introduced to weed, Rush, Steppenwolf and Black Sabbath. Rush, weed, Seagrams and a Scout Master playing cards at the camp canteen late into the evening; what a regretful week at Scout Camp.
Geddy Lee is ok with me since he sang Take Off on The Great White North album with the McKenzie brothers. 10 bucks is ten bucks, eh?
If she doesn’t have a substantial level of respect for Rush — maybe not her cup of tea, but respect and recognition of achievements — do you really want to breed her?
canadians have a penchant for caterwauling singers
geddy, neil young, that tragically hip guy, etc.
and as the above commenter mentioned, all have that air of pretentiousness to boot
I’ve always observed that the best and most effective chastity belt is one with a Star Trek buckle. Wear that and you’ll die a virgin (males only).
I have to agree. Rush would not get you laid in the late 70s – mid 80’s while two other bands were almost guarantees to have a good time with the ladies, REO Speedwagon and Journey.
Having thought for a while about whether I should accept the satire or be annoyed by it, I realized that Rush is a contraceptive the same way that listening to Milton Friedman is a contraceptive. Sends the blood to the wrong place.
And Geddy’s voice is no worse than a lot of other famous performers.
Ha ha ha… yes “the invisible hand” just ‘aint sexy when it’s discussed by Milton Friedman.
Not my cup of tea… but I am prone to Puccini and Wagner at my present state of being.
Having said that.. the mind can’t help but swoon at the sheer mayhem such acoustical arrangements must have conjured at innumerable high school era house parties. Back in the day, with a proper beverage in hand… I could have easily grunged-out to such accomplished musical brilliance.