An American Example Of Centrally Planned Economics

[Note: This post went off the rails. Blame cabin fever. I meant to bitch about modern life and “GET THOSE DAMN KIDS OFF MY LAWN”, etcetera. (Hey, why is “etcetera” not in my spell check? Am I spelling it wrong or is my spell check dumbed down? Hey, why is “dumbed” not in my spell check? A pox on my word-processor! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Take that!)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I drifted into economic planning. Whoops! Just for the record (and the pedantic) the incandescent bulb I wanted is legal. Just because the local hardware store is poorly stocked and on the other side of a snowdrift I got in a spot where Amazon tried to boss me around. I know… first world problems.

Also folks tend to think “Centrally Planned Economy” is government only. Traditionally that’s the way of things (see: USSR, North Korea, Venezuela, etc…) but it doesn’t have to be a government thing. Perhaps, as things evolve Amazon might lead to something similar, or maybe Amazon and its cohorts will be something like an oligarchy? Also, “Centrally Planned” isn’t a new thing; Bronze Age Egypt and the Roman Empire under  Diocletian we’re both “planned”. (Both collapsed hard… but that’s a different topic.)]

The “Curmudgeonly blogging central command center” has an electric heater. It’s one of those 120 Volt / 1500 Watt deals that looks vaguely like a fireplace. The actual heating unit is about the size of a lunchbox and occupies maybe 10% of the volume of the object. The remaining 90% is decorative oak (veneer) “furniture” wrapped around a fake “hearth”. The “hearth” has translucent plastic “logs”. Within the “logs” two small dimmable lights and a rotating reflector make a flickering reddish glow. It looks something like a fire. It’s not the real thing, but I appreciate the attempt at a “cosy atmosphere”. It’s like tailfins on a 1950’s Buick. Pointless but pretty.

Several years ago the lights burned out. The bulbs were probably 5+ years old when they died. They’re functionally irrelevant so I ignored them. Last week, in the throes of cabin fever (which is hitting hard!) I sought to replace the bulbs.

What I extracted from the cabinet were two 40 watt “candelabra” bulbs. I can get them at the local store but the roads are sketchy and that’s why God made Amazon. On Amazon I found a zillion variants of such bulbs. The incandescent ones are still available (a pox on the EPA for fucking with lightbulbs!). Alas they’re generally sold in packs of a dozen bulbs or more. I’ll never use a dozen. All I wanted was two.  This was harder than it looks. Amazon is the great database in the sky and it knows damn well there’s no profit in mailing one tiny little cheapo bulb to a guy in the hinterland. I went around and around the search routines to no avail.

Then I clicked on an LED alternative. Yowza…. that set off an algorithm somewhere! Once I’d clicked on one LED alternative, their search routine snapped its pit bull jaws on my ass and wouldn’t let go. Searches that previously led to twelve packs of incandescent “candelabra” bulbs suddenly gave alternative results… all in LED form.

Fuck a duck; I hate being manipulated! However, I’m not going to fight all progress. Clearly the world, Amazon, the EPA, and probably the Pope are on the LED bandwagon. A 4o watt candelabra bulb ‘aint the hill I’m willing to die on. Also, I could buy a pair of LEDs for less than a dozen pack of incandescents that has ten bulbs I didn’t want. In fact, the LEDs were reasonably cheap. Cheap enough that I no longer gave a shit.

So I ordered 2 LEDs of the type the whole goddamn universe is desperately trying to shove up my ass.

They arrived (free shipping!) and they’re installed right now. They work fine. They have about the same light as what they replaced. Visually, the slightly more expensive LEDs are identical to the slightly cheaper incandescents.

Resistance is futile.

But wait… there’s more! LEDs, in their excessive packaging go out of their way to tell me all about how much more awesomely efficient they are. The old bulbs were 40 watt. 80 watt total for the appliance. The new bulbs are 3.6 watt. 7.2 watt total for the whole appliance.

The EPA helpfully digs up a formula that says I can run each bulb for 3 hours a day at an “average” of $0.11/KWh for 365 days at a cost of $0.43. You heard that right, 43 pennies a year. $0.86 for the whole appliance.

Suppose I was a Gaia killing troglodyte deplorable shithead who insisted on the  Neanderthal technology of an incandescent. In that case I’d spend 11x as much (40 watt/3.6 watt). That means $9.46 a year. From that point of view the LEDs are efficient enough to offset their purchase. The delta between the two is almost as large as a six pack of decent beer.

Maybe on year two the beer would be “free”? But not really!

What’s the waste product of an inefficient incandescent bulb? Heat!

What’s the appliance in which I’m installing these bulbs? A heater!

The heater is variable, it’s on a dial. If two bulbs of obsolete uncoolness are making waste heat it just means I’ll set the heater a smidge lower. I propose that “waste heat” from a heater component is just fine with me! It’ll go (with pretty decent efficiency) to the production of exactly what the appliance is meant for. At a practical scale there’s no drawback whatsoever to inefficient lighting in an electrical heat generating device.

The LED, in this application, is totally irrelevant.

But hey, what do I know? I’m just a redneck in flyover country. If some dude in DC wants to regulate my behavior and some other dweeb running Amazon’s search routine wants to maximize expense (they make their money selling shit!) then I’m just a speed bump bitching about progress. After all, reducing waste heat makes perfect sense on a chandelier in a summertime house of a Kennedy and that’s all that really matters. My cheap ass heater in the frozen hinterland is irrelevant. Right?

This is a tiny thing. Hardly matters at all. Unless of course the same dweebs start mucking about with our media, banking, consumer goods, or medicine… which they all do.

Fuck ’em. I’m an outlier. I can do math, I think about shit, and I’m a rebellious sort. We all should be on the lookout as other people “nudge” us “for our own good”! The person who knows best for you is… you.

As for me, I’m forever incorrigible in my habits. I have oil lamps and the same Amazon order included 3/4″ wicks. I’m sure the EPA (or some safety organization) shit their pants over that one. Next time I’ll see if I can order up whale oil and go old school.

Stand back y’all. I have oil lamps and I’m not afraid to use ’em!

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.
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14 Responses to An American Example Of Centrally Planned Economics

  1. I for one hail the Overlords for their love of LED’s. Living off grid with limited solar panels, almost all my power consumption was lighting. Using incandescent bulbs left me without power after a week of clouds and I had to use candles for awhile. There is a low tech lighting solution that blows hard. I agree, they should be voluntary. Not like we actually ever get a vote. Like the amount of water we get to flush solids.

  2. Steffen says:

    I have determined you are within the target demographic of Backwoods Home magazine. Have you heard of them? It might be a decent way to while away a few hours of winter.

    $2 on Amazon buys you a digital copy, and that’s how I get mine. However, they are back in print again or they can even mail you CD-ROMs full of back issues if you’re so inclined.

    They publish a column by Massad Ayoob, so I don’t mind giving them money.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      We had a subscription when it was on paper. Might still have it on e-book.

      Good source of info. I like Dave Duffy’s articles too.

  3. Robert says:

    “Pointless but pretty” I resemble that remark, sir!

    We have one of those “fireplaces” in a home with three cats. The back of the device is open. Took us 30 minutes to find the missing-but-happy cat. Burning cat fur stinks, but that’s a different story.

    A newer-ain’t better rant:

    A year ago, the landlord (an electrician) replaced 3 of 6 incandescent candelabra bulbs with LEDs. One year ago. The fixture now has 3 Gaia-killing bulbs and TWO LEDs. Lessee, 3 hours per night times 365 is, um, not very long.

    He also replaced 7 electrically-voracious yard lights with LEDs and installed motion sensors “to save electricity”. The damned lights cycle all day and night, being on about 95% of the time despite someone-nameless having covered the thrice-darned sensors with opaque duct tape.

  4. Doctor Mingo says:

    I think it is spelled et cetera.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      Two responses…

      1. That explains why I can’t verify the damn thing on my spellcheck.
      2. You have out-pedantic-ed me and must redeem myself. I challenge to combat Scrabble. We meet at dawn!

  5. p2 says:

    AC…. its no wonder our elected criminals and their duly appointed minions are goin broke. at 11 cents/kwh, even if you use 1 kwh a day it’s $40.15. maybe they meant $.0011?? i’d love to use their math on my taxes… a pox on all things LED… hate the blasted things..they dont look right. oil lamp users of the world, rise up and unite!!!

  6. Wolfman says:

    I don’t really want to go LED across the board, but the quality of light (while not a patch on good halogen bulbs) is improving lately. That being said, there seems to be a conspiracy by which most of the incandescent bulbs I’ve been using are not lasting anywhere near as long as previously. They won’t get me by force or coercion, but if they start making LED bulbs BETTER than incans, they’ll get me for sure. And is that REALLY a loss for me?

  7. jabrwok says:

    Whale oil might not be easily acquired, but there’s always Hump Fat!

    Not sure how well it’ll burn when rendered down though.

  8. terrapod says:

    It is always more satisfying to go against the intelligentsia of the politburo. When the weather improves, go drive the earth*ucker diesel 10 miles to the nearest big box hardware joint, they will have those bulbs in old fashioned tungsten filament glory. If they don’t let me know, there are ways to get this stuff on the black market, heh!

  9. GARY S JORDAN says:

    All of the lighting in my man cave (my daughter’s garage, a Father-in-Law apartment) is LED. My daughter, however, is trying to find some under-the-counter fluorescent lights, for above her plants, and finding only LEDs. LED grow lamps shine blue, which Will Not Go With Her Decor. Perhaps I should interject “affordable” into her wants.

    The woman lives in a botanical garden, which she redecorates seasonally. I should think blue grow lights would match something. (The incandescent bulbs are apparently purple.)

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      I’m not good at matching colors to anything. I prefer the gold/yellow hue of “warm” lights to the harsh blue of a cheap LED but I’m not too picky. (I do loathe those super bright blue “fry oncoming traffic’s retinas” modernish headlights.)

      Lucky for your daughter there’s a long tradition of potheads refining inside lighting solutions. From what I hear, indoor lights for plants can have impressive effects. Side note: about a million years ago I had several fish tanks and one was constantly giving me trouble with algae buildup. It turned out the lighting I had for that tank was just exactly the right wavelength for algae. As soon as I swapped bulbs for something less conducive to plants, the tank was much easier to manage (the fish didn’t seem to care either way).

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