In 1918 Children Kept The Squirrel Menace At Bay

“Are you not willing then to give your whole-hearted support to this state-wide movement to KILL THE SQUIRREL?”

Well are ya? Unless you are, the war effort may flounder… pussy!

Imagine the good old days (in this case 1918) when the government encouraged kids to protect the food supply and use buckets of poison. Now adults are warned that everything from sawdust to laughter is a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer. The children and lobotomized and covered in bubble wrap until they’re old enough to take out student loans in puppetry and dabble in community organizing.

Check it out:

Remember children, be careful when using buckets of poison.

California’s children in 1918; “Get out there and kill!”
California’s children in 2017; “Todo el mundo tiene una A.“*

The whole story is rather fascinating; though it fails to mention the force multiplying effect of Abba. (Possibly because future president and then U.S. Food Administration mega-wonk Herbert Hoover failed to anticipate the tragic rise disco balls and Swedish vocalists fifty years later.)

History is awesome! I encourage you to read it all at PJ Media.


* “Everyone gets an A.” (Unless I screwed up a tense or something.)

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.
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5 Responses to In 1918 Children Kept The Squirrel Menace At Bay

  1. You know who your writing reminds me of? Terry Pratchett.
    High honor indeed. You MUST make a book of this. Call it, “Tales of the Revolting Creatures” or some such.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      Title: “Attack of the Lesbian Squirrels”
      Subtitle “And other totally true tales from the Curmudgeon’s homestead”

      • Well, you can always hide in the basement when the lgbt community comes after you with pitch forks.
        It’s good clean fun and no one should be offended, but you know the perpetually butt hurt professional whiner.
        I like it!

      • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

        “good clean fun and no one should be offended”

        That’s a compliment of the highest order. Thanks.

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