Liberty’s Torch digs into it’s archives to lead us away from politics and toward jocularity. Good idea! Here’s just one of several excellent consumer warnings:
“IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Reemerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.”
This reminded me of something in my archives; In California, Death Is Never Far Away. While on a motorcycle trip I stopped for an oil change in California. The mandatory posted list of things “known to the state of California” to cause cancer was immense and silly.
I’m not saying a motorcycle shop is chemical free. But don’t we already know that it’s not a good idea to lick battery terminals or sprinkle brake fluid on breakfast cereal? Is the only reason Californians aren’t adding carburetor cleaner to their coffee because of the sign?
Meanwhile, I’d just survived I5 on two wheels and picked up a brutal head cold from San Joaquin’s incredibly polluted air.
“California will kill you with air while warning you about the lead content of your battery posts. No wonder politicians thrive there!”
I literally fled to Death Valley for clear air and then from fled Death Valley the next day. (I was afraid I’d get extremely sick in a place without ready antibiotics.) Where was the poster that said “breathing this air will beat your country boy lungs like a jackhammer”?
Yup. Apparently the chemicals that will give you cancer in California are the very things us flyover folks are looking for, y’know, stuff that actually works.
As for beating your lungs, I usta watch the brown air come down the coast from Los Angeles and screw us up. Don’t miss that part.
“[D]on’t we already know that it’s not a good idea to lick battery terminals or sprinkle brake fluid on breakfast cereal?”
I think you have to assume that, being California, the denizens do not, in fact, realize it’s a bad idea to drink used engine oil or lick lead-based paint.
It would explain some things.