Adaptive Curmudgeon

When folks send a comment I see it. I approve them virtually every time; usually within a day but sometimes it takes a couple days. Presumably I see all comments (I sure hope that’s true because if I’m only seeing some comments that’s a whole ‘nuther kettle of fish).

The live blog shows “n comments” in the footer but displays none. Go figure.

I’ve no idea what’s the issue but I’m looking for an answer. Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve read y’alls comments even if you can’t discuss amongst yourself.

In 2020 this is probably the least worrisome development we’ve experienced.

A.C.

P.S. I’m not sure if “amongst” is a word but I typed it anyway. ‘Cause that’s how I roll.

Lest we forget, the cycle of life continues unabated. Overly evolved monkeys that we are, we confuse our internal bullshit with literal reality. We’re prone to orbit the cult of politics. We roll like dogs in the serial panic it foments. When there is a chance to be stupid; we are a moth to flame.

It happens en masse from time to time. Periodically, societies lose their shit. This is one of those eras. Common sense, logic, stoic adherence to reason; these are in the rear view mirror. Karens shriek about masks as if the black death were ascendant. For some reason, in 2020 they are not told to shut up and tend to their cats as they should. Unserious wingnuts tear at the fabric of civilization and we chose not to give them the dope slap they need. Political cultists have left the shadows and openly search for Jews in the attic. They edge ever closer to kristallnacht, and we (for reasons I can’t quite articulate) simply allow them to drive society into the ditch.

Meanwhile real life continues. It properly ignores our self inflicted inner turmoil. The sun rises as always, the earth rotates, life on its surface continues. All this is as if we are nothing; which is for the most part correct. This truth points to a door in the cage of stupidity which we’ve built around our tantrums of inadequacy.

“There is reality and there is our inner mental space. Recently, many us have been stricken by the inability to separate the two. Until we learn better, this failing will continue to cause pain.”

So how do you unplug from the matrix and marvel at the beauty of all creation? That’s up to you. For me it meant watching a bug in a jar.

A couple years ago I scooped up a monarch caterpillar and stuffed it in a jar. It munched away on milkweed, formed a chrysalis, exploded into a beautiful butterfly, and flew away. It did this during a time when I’d been ill, attending funerals, and watching my dog age.

That little critter had a name, because I named him. Sebastian. (Links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

This year has not been a time of solace. I’ve lived through a post-Christmas impeachment, the far more important death of my dog, through “flatten the curve”, to… to whatever the hell you’d call right now. (Is this the twentieth week of our six week “flattening of the curve”?) I feel the far off madness of crowds intruding on my peaceful rural redoubt. So I found another caterpillar and watched it become a Monarch butterfly.

Sounds trite doesn’t it? But what better thing are most of us doing? Fretting over political riots, mask shenanigans, Facebook posturing? A virus as a new form of demonic possession? Is that it? Abandonment of reason due to a 99.96% survivable risk in a modern wealthy industrial society of unlimited wealth? Compared to losing one’s shit over an impending election and using glorified bandannas as medical devices, is a caterpillar in a jar somehow less worthy? Which is most connected to the outstretched arms of God?

Regardless of my overwrought poetics, and perhaps just because pretty things are pretty, I invite you to meet Colin. Colin was a caterpillar that had a transformative moment, became an entirely new being, and gained the power of flight. He did it from an old plastic cheeseball container perched on my kitchen table.

I gave him a little coffee stirrer to grasp, hustled him outside to dry in the sun, and then watched as he first perched on a thistle (proof that I’ve been remiss in trimming the lawn), and then my hand.

Then he was gone. It was the most perfect use of my time. All we have is time. If things are getting you down, find your caterpillar.

A.C.

Two weeks ago I posted the last of chapter six of from Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels. It’s a lot of work to write such a thing and I’m prone to delay. But I want people to laugh (and I want laugh myself) so I keep at it. Maybe I make people laugh, maybe I fall short, but by God I tried and that’s the point.

The need for laughter seems stronger right now; like a hunger. The feeling of humorlessness has grown in 2020. It seems like witch hunters and HOA harpies are ascendant. There’s always plenty of stupid to go around but usually people are reasonably sane. In certain eras too many people get too deep. When they can’t get back to solid ground they become a herd of stupid angry scared beasts; you never know what they’ll do.

I don’t like that! I don’t want a bunch of lunatics going French Revolution in my vicinity. Nobody does. Yet we’re cursed to live through a time of madness. In in 2016 the generalized background level of stupid, which had been growing for decades, coalesced into madness. Witnessing it, I started thinking about words like “cognitive dissonance” and “cult”. There was nothing I could do to calm the situation. Nothing anyone could do. The thing with addiction is that only the addict can pull out of the spiral. You can offer a hand up but you cannot battle the demons that are the addict’s to bear.

In 2020 things have gone further than I thought they could go. There’s a haze of pure, high quality, concentrated, refined bullshit in the air and it’s too much for anyone. A not inconsiderable portion of our society is being driven flat out stark raving mad. Even the most well centered of us feel the heat.

I’m not talking about this party or that party or which of two dickheads you should vote for; I’m talking about how the citizens of my nation are losing the dignity of walking down the street in peace. So many folks are terrified of things in their own head that they’ve herded up and become legitimate impediments to the rest of us. A word spoken in jest, an inopportune encounter, a mask or not a mask, no matter how benign or sane you are… there’s someone looking to go off about it like a child who needs a nap. They’re sufficiently insane and sufficiently wound up and sufficiently numerous to impact our lives.

Back to posting my little story: I made a point of putting as little 2020 bullshit into the story as possible. Why? To lighten the load. It’s satire. It’s meant for a light heart. It won’t fix the world but who doesn’t like a good laugh? But then I was done. Completely burned out.

I’m not immune to 2020 anymore than anyone else. After those 19+ posts I disengaged from the internet like I would back away from a coiled snake. I did it for my own good. The internet is mostly imagination and it’s currently awash with people’s night terrors. Who needs that?

I went sailing. I enjoyed the night sky. (Did you see comet Neowise? What better thing were you doing that you couldn’t enjoy a comet that won’t be back for 6,800 years?) I had “adventures”. I played gin and Cataan. I drank beer. I read a book. I lived in the real and of the now.

I stayed far far far from the imaginary and ignored any debate about anything.

The other thing I did was to deliberately interact with people. I generally avoid people but I needed to check; was everyone nuts or only a few? I’ve good news to report. Beneath the masks and the worried eyes and the wonder if the kids are going to school or some fucknuts will find a flimsy excuse to burn down Baltimore… deep down… people are mostly OK. Most of them know this will pass.

They’re right. This is just bullshit. It has arrived unwanted. It will leave unmissed.

Which brings me to today. I’ve been more or less off grid for 2 weeks. I came back for two reasons.

1. To apologize to folks who’d made donations during my Squirrels stories. Some of you haven’t yet gotten a personal acknowledgement and that means I’m being impolite. Please forgive my bad manners, I was so keyed up to do my “walkabout” I just didn’t send out proper “thank you” before I went. Please know, every bit was deeply appreciated and it helped finance various fun things during my “walkabout”.
2. To remind folks that shit ‘aint that bad. Damn near everything driving folks to freak out is crap from the media injected straight into their head. The call is coming from inside the house!

In light of #2 I thought I’d post some pleasant things the press isn’t telling you. Everyone needs good news and, unlike the media, I don’t get off on making people miserable:

The Black Death Isn’t Happening: “According to the CDC’s weekly update on Friday, the number of people in the hospital with laboratory-confirmed cases was lower than it has been since the beginning of the lockdown…” [Emphasis added by your’s truly] (The CDC information is dense and annoying so click here for the referencing article which I’m afraid has a bit of a rant incorporated. If you’re a nerd you can wade through the CDC link. You’ll find good news in there that even the CDC can’t slice and dice and subset and obfuscate until it’s gone. My point here is many of us set out to “flatten the curve” and we did exactly that. Things will continue to get better and they may get worse at times but that big horrible peak… we’ve made it through.)

Boat Parades Are Happening: “They needed 1,181 to break the record which is officially from Malaysia in 2014 although a “Trumptilla” boat event in South Carolina in July had over 3000 vessels.” I feel bad interjecting politics because what I really want to emphasize is “boat parade”. I don’t care if it’s “pro-Trump” or “Kumquat Awareness Week” there’s noting quite so joyous and sweet as the idea of a boat parade. Think of the human spark and initiative on exhibit here. A world full of bitchy Karens make every fucking inch of everywhere a pain in the ass… so people fire up everything from a jet ski to a trawler and have a boat parade. Such a beautiful idea. You can’t crush people so long as they still have the means and heart to make a parade on water.

The Economy Seems Intent On Recovery: “The S&P 500 closed at a record high on Tuesday, rebounding from huge losses triggered by the coronavirus pandemic and crowning one of the most dramatic recoveries in the index’s history.” That’s right, the Standard and Poor 500 index cleared a record and totally recovered from contagion excess. It happened this Tuesday. Did you know that? Why isn’t everyone stoked?

United Arab Emirates and Israel Are Slightly Less Likely To Get Into A War: “Israel and the United Arab Emirates reached a landmark accord sealed by President Trump on Thursday that could presage a broader realignment in the region as the two agreed to “full normalization of relations”…” I’m not naive. I know this is the Middle East and there’s probably not going to be a international group hug coming out of that mess anytime soon. Regardless, only an asshole or a terrorist would say it’s a bad thing for two countries to start trying to formally get along. It happened just last week. I haven’t heard much press about it, but it’s good news.

Americans Are Back In The Space Business: “It was the first water landing by returning astronauts since the final flight of an Apollo capsule in 1975 and the first landing of a U.S. spacecraft carrying astronauts home from orbit since the shuttle program’s final flight in 2011.” I remember the elation of watching the first Space Shuttle launch in 1981. I remember the long slow bureaucratic failure as NASA crawled up its own risk averse ass until 2011 when America’s heart gave out and NASA stopped launching humans into space. In a world that feels stressed out and prone to medieval superstition, I like to see humans explore. Thank God space is no longer within NASA’s straitjacket.