I’m hunting for a used motorcycle. Motorcycles aren’t merely utilitarian. Thus, owning one is not fully logical. Owning two is even more illogical. The two I own are so awesome I want to own three. There’s no end to this circle. Don’t fight it, grok it.
I have a Honda Shadow ACE. It cruises all I’ll ever need to cruise. I also have a Yamaha TW200 that’s basically new despite me beating the shit out of it. That stout little critter happily pack-mules my ass into all the fun I can handle.
Yet I feel the need to add to the stable; less a thought than a calling. I sense this is a time when I can get a heck of a deal on a kind of machine that will never exist again AND it’s also a good moment to do what one “ought to do”. (Define “ought to do” anyway you wish. I’m still working on it myself.)
The world emerged from a COVID fever dream only to psychotically drag itself into the trash. Whatever motorcycles our future cockroach /AI / technocrat overlords allow to exist in our future of mud huts and electric vehicles won’t suit me. For now, the supply of old yet well maintained bikes continues existing, however improbably. It won’t last forever.
Shit often looks the worst right before total destruction fails to happen. The future is likely brighter than it seems right now. But maybe not. The only certainty is that things are increasingly uncertain and a good bike doesn’t fit with the kind of mind that eliminates incandescent lights and gas kitchen stoves.
If you knew… really honestly knew… shit was going pear shaped… would a good clean motorcycle be among your plans? Hard to say. In mine; maybe. It feels like it should. Motorcycles are freedom! Who doesn’t want a nice stockpile of freedom? (Before you rush to comment, all the stacks of ammo in Bert Gummer’s basement can’t substitute for the joy of flying over pavement in pursuit of the horizon.)
Well anyway, that’s my theory. I said it wasn’t logical.
The first bike I checked out was a Honda GL 1200 Goldwing Aspencade. It had 60K on the clock and was going for two grand. I didn’t expect much. I was correct. It was in rough shape, serviceable but tattered. Not what I was looking for.
Here’s a random photo of a GL120o Goldwing Aspencade from the internet. The one I checked out looked like this… but after you rolled it in a cement mixer for a while.
I was attracted to a single line in the ad: “Reason for selling, 82”. There’s something very poignant about that. I met the man. I hope he has many years left. I lingered too long and hated to leave. I’d have happily listened to his life’s story.
His bike started and idled perfectly. Alas it was crufty; switches that don’t work, a hole drilled in the faring for reasons that probably made sense when a switch was mounted in the hole, the odd wire that goes nowhere, well worn aftermarket bling that was lame when installed decades ago, a corner of the LCD was dead, etc… The bike’s mechanicals could probably warble happily for another 50,000+ miles but it would never look “clean”.
I didn’t take it.
There was a dry spell after that. I live in East Bumfuck Nowhere. Local markets in anything are slim. Searching for a 30 year old gem of a motorcycle on the cheap is expecting a lot. I’m aware it may be an impossible ask. Patience is merited.
Then I had a road trip. I had to go to a place to do a thing. While I was there I sniffed around for more bikes. I found a gem indeed!
I found a BMW LT1100. Just a little under 30 years old. Less than 4oK on the clock. It was offered at just about twice the cost of the clapped out ‘Wing. Still within my cheapskate budget.
This machine was perfect! Clean as a whistle. It left the factory with much less extraneous gadgetry than the ‘Wing and it’s old age everything functioned flawlessly. It had ABS which is pretty cool for that era.
Mostly I liked the motor. The BMW transverse inline 4 is a good design. I wanna hug that motor!
It had a full maintenance history and was obviously well cared for. There was no weird shit bolted to it. It was like I time traveled to the late ’90’s and rolled it off a showroom floor. I had no doubt I could hop on that bike and cross three time zones without the slightest hesitation!
Here’s what an BMW LT1100 looks like:
The guy was more than willing to let me take a test drive. I’m nervous just looking at another guy’s bike. Also I’m from the social class that doesn’t even set foot in a BMW showroom. But I figured “if I drop it, I’ll buy it” and that chilled me out. Test driving a $30K BMW would give me a stroke, test driving a beauty I can afford is less stressful!
I’d been traveling with Mrs. Curmudgeon. She happily waved as I rolled away on that sweet BMW; leaving her and the truck behind.
About a mile down the road I was like; “Did I just abandon my wife as collateral on a used vehicle test drive? Is that rude?” Then I was like “Nah, it’s fine, she can handle herself.” Soon I forgot all concerns and focused on the immediate “this is a sweet ride!”
It purred like a kitten, every gear was great, every shift flawless. It was a little buzzy at 4,000 rpm but it was scarcely noticeable. I meant to ride slow but the thing was so smooth and capable that I found myself going way faster than I expected. It might be a speeding ticket machine!
Tragically, the ergonomics of putting a grunt like me on that sleek engineering marvel was a mismatch. My inseam is too short for the tall BMW. I could fix that with a lower positioned seat but that’s only the start. The whole ergonomic package was integrated and it was completely off kilter for my Neanderthal body. I wound up leaning too much on my wrists. I mashed my nuts into the tank. On my cruiser I sit “in” the bike, on the BMW I perched “on” it. I guess I’m not a “perch” kind of guy.
It felt tall and gangly. I wanted laid back and chill and this bike was just too awesome for that. It wanted to go. It was all cheetah and antelope where my next bike is meant to be badger and napping dog. Does that make sense? Is this why wine descriptions devolve into stupid analogies? (“Despite the bouquet that hints of apricot, the body suggests leather and the aftertaste is tax reform.” Wine guys… I get ya’ now.)
I wicked it up a little and it went from great to superb. That’s what it was built to do. I leaned a touch in a few curves and gave it a fraction more throttle. It held traction like it was bonded to the planet. What a great bike!
But already my back was starting to ache. It’s a great bike but not for me. A chiropractor could buy that bike, give it to me free, and make a profit off my future visits.
Such a shame. Someone is going to get a hell of a deal, but that winner won’t be me.
Still, I call it a success. It was proof of concept. I had the proposition that under $5k can get a bike that’s all that and a bag of chips. The Beemer was stupendous; mechanically perfect, well maintained, appeared bulletproof, and ready for a road trip right now. Very close to the target.
There are unicorns out there. I just have to find mine.
I have had several sport bikes over the years. Body can’t handle that posture anymore.
Time sure seems to matter! I may have missed my sport bike years. Oh well.
All the ‘reasons’ you cited about body ‘issues’ are exactly why my last (and current) ride is a CanAm Spyder nine years now and still going strong 😉 No it wasn’t inexpensive but it works for me.
I like the CanAm reverse trikes. They look cool and I’m happy whenever a machine dares to be different. I suspect the luggage capacity is good too?
If you knew… really honestly knew… shit was going pear shaped… would a good clean motorcycle be among your plans?
I gave up riding a couple of decades ago, like three. I was a sportbike guy. Never rode off road. BUT.
I swore that the first time someone set off a dirty nuke or bio-attack on a city (or it was a real and legit threat), I’d be getting everyone in the family enduro bikes. Might be too late at that point but I couldn’t justify the risk, cost, or time to train, and the wife wasn’t really on board with crazy ‘what if’s’. She’s better now, and we actually have a place to go, so maybe it’s time to start looking around.
I hope you find what you’re looking for. I’m sure there’s more than on weekend warrior chiropractor or dentist that isn’t riding much anymore.
nick
I’m not a biker, but my wife is. Years back while on vacation, we saw a Harley 883 Sportster for sale that looked promising. My wife took down the phone number listed, as the location was within 200 miles of our home.
When we got home, I suggested she check out the Harley shop to look up specs on the bike. Background information is always good. While we were there, one of the sales folks asked why she wanted the information. When she answered, he looked a bit closer than asked ‘Are you REALLY serious about buying a bike ?’
‘Yes – I will pay $$$ for it IF the price is good and I like the test drive.’
‘Follow me’.
He led us to the back, where a 10 year old 2006 883 Sportster for less than 6,000 miles was. Wife liked it immediately, even the color) and asked for a test drive. After she drove off, I told the guy if she liked it, it would likely be sold. He shrugged – probably heard that all the time. Wife liked it – sales guy followed us home where bike was paid off in full. $3,000. It had sat in a garage most of the time, an office executive who enjoyed riding but never found the time to actually ride it.
She immediately took it to her trusted mechanic, who went over it and thought it was worth it as well. She has (and still has)a 1999 Honda 750 cruiser, but it doesn’t have enough juice to keep up with her bike group. Thus, the Sporpster was put in rotation.
Wife still has has it, but has since added a Roadsmith – Goldwing conversion trike because of long distance rides are easier on her back.
I really miss the Kawasaki 650 I used to have.
I gave up bikes when cell phones became common. Too many idiots not watching their driving. I do enough dodging in a car where I am better protected. My reflexes are no longer adequate for a bike. Getting old and decrepit sucks! Enjoy the bikes while you can.
Been sniffing around an older R60 BMW listed for 3500, has high miles but the pull is there. Tell me I’m nuts at 71? Please!
I felt nuts buying my TW200 dirt bike at an age when most people are driving minivans but that was three years ago and it was the best choice ever. If you can physically ride a bike at 71 more power to ya. Have a great time.
I hear you on the BMW. Had a Concours for a few years. Lovely handling go fast bike but it made my neck, back, butt and wrists hurt. Finally let it go because I didn’t want to be on it more than about 45 minutes. Best bike ergonomic for me was/is the upright Universal Japanese Motorcycle (UJM) of the 70’s-80’s. Put 18k on a GS750 to Alaska from NY and back via San Diego and Colorado Springs on the return leg. After that had a GS850, same basic machine with shaft drive. Best balanced and comfort bikes I ever had. Did the alcan hwy in 1979 when it was still dirt never having ridden off road before. Might look at an 80’s K1000. Same 4 inline engine but closer to the UJM riding position. Also look at the Vstroms. Similar posture with an adventure bias or maybe klr650. Not the smoothest for go fast but maybe good for an uncertain future. We also like our Helix and Bergstrom scooters. Easy relaxing comfortable. More often than not I end up on the helix for local stuff. I call it my poor man’s goldwing.. The silly thing just works.
I’ve a small stable of motorcycles – hey, they’re a hobby, sort of like my affliction with old farm machinery. Keeps me in the shop where I can’t cause trouble that will get me arrested. Anyway, I have touring and dirt and sport and even mopeds, but were I to look for another, the BMW R80GS would be high on my list. BMW invented dual-use with this thing. It’s as comfortable on an interstate in Kansas as it is on a dirt path in Kurdistan, parts are readily available, and it has plenty of power but not stupid high-rpm-only levels of same. No matter what you want to do the bike can handle it. True story, which says as much about the rider as the bike, some years ago I was on the Sportster in Colorado riding the mountain roads and thinking I was all that and a box of Cracker Jacks. The Sportster is heavy but it is a very stable, well-handling bike. Another rider, whom I knew, passed me on his R80GS. On the outside of a turn. With passenger. In a perfectly-controlled two-wheeled drift. The passenger was squealing, from fear or excitement I never did determine. After that ride and some supper he rode back home. To Utah. Had to be at work the next morning, he said. Some day, perhaps, I shall have one. But you mentioned the BMW K100LT. I picked one up from a neighbor’s estate sale several years back, for cheap, after riding the Sportster for the past 30 years. Thought his wife could use the money and I was the only one in the township who still rode, so maybe I’d ride it a year or two and sell it, but mainly I though it worth the money to be able to honestly say, “Oh, the minivan? Well, I had to haul some stuff so I left the BMW at home.”. At first, yes, that tall seat and huge fairing and single riding position and all that was a bit uncomfortable. But then it grew on me. Or rather, I grew to conform to it. Now it’s my main ride on the commute. I can shop for the week with those saddlebags and trunk, I can ride in the rain and not even get my shoes wet, the wife finds it comfortable so we can ride together again, but you know what I like best about it? I like being in my leather romper-suit and full-face helmet and some kid wearing sandals and Ray-Bans on his Hayabusa with the stretched swingarm stops next to me at the light and asks if I want to race. “Sure thing!” I answer. “First one to Denver!” I used to be young and, I thought, fast. Age has taught me to appreciate being both fast and comfortable.