Absolutely everything went wrong. Cascading stupid shit hounded me for several weeks. I was (almost comically) derailed at every juncture. I soldiered on. Eventually, it all worked out.
Is there no better summation of life?
A couple weeks ago I was all set to go camping… and then didn’t. Everything went pear shaped. The dog had a minor medical issue, the roof had a leak, one of my vehicles had a breakdown, and I inflicted a minor injury on my wrist. The universe just wasn’t going to let it happen. My plans were solidly curbstomped.
The good news is I found a roofer guy to fix my roof. I’ve been calling all over creation for years. Nobody works anymore. Shortly after my roof leaked (turning things from “gotta’ be done eventually” to “urgent”) someone called back! He came to my house and helped me nail a tarp over the leaking roof. (Classy!)
I was given instructions to buy what seems like too much materials and he left. (It’s only a small area. I think he over-estimated materials but what do I know?) Over the weekend, in lieu of camping, I made the purchase. The guy was going to come by sometime in the upcoming week so I had to hurry! I left the shingles in my truck.
While I cooled my jets waiting for the roofer guy I attacked another long delayed project. My boat has been languishing on sawhorses since Memorial Day! I put a shade tarp over the boat and used the minimally sheltered area to slather a coat of oil based topside paint on the hull. My injured wrist complained but I solved the situation through denial and ibuprofen. The coat of paint (including the many thistles and bugs that got stuck in the paint) should help keep her safe from the creeping decay that takes out so many plywood creations.
I only did the bottom of the hull. I figured when the guy came to fix the roof later in the week I’d ask him to help me flip the boat. Then I’d do the rest.
Dude ghosted me!
I decided to go camping/sailing on the next weekend even if the boat was only half ready. The roof was under a tarp and that was “good enough”. More importantly there wasn’t much I could do about it. Also, I needed some outdoor time. I hadn’t been sleeping well and needed headspace.
There’s a nip in the air and summer is fleeting. I would only get a few more chances before sailing season was gone. Mindful of the upcoming snow, I decided to test some winter stuff when it’s “that’s nice to have” rather than “fuck up and you freeze” weather.
As an aside, I live in the north and the winters are brutal. Each fall is a special time. I sniff a chill in the air and get the reminder; memento mori. “Remember that you die.” Maybe it’s not a happy thing but it’s an important thing. I feel like brutal winters serve a purpose. They teach me to live while I can; perhaps a more mellow climate would have me frittering life away with my engine idling and my transmission in park? In this case, I had a choice between homestead chores and recreation; with winter approaching I simply had to go! There will come a time when such decisions are already made and part of an irreversible past. When they plant my ass I wanna’ know I enjoyed the world as much as my limited lifespan allowed; the roof is just a roof.
I planned for a mellow extended weekend. Perhaps sleep late before hitting the road? Alas, I was rousted out of bed with before dawn. The phone rang: “I’ll come over for a check. Be there in five.” I had no idea who the hell it was.
Trying desperately to guess which of many workers on several stalled projects had called me, I stumbled to the coffee pot. It wasn’t the roofer guy nor was it my mechanic (who went off on a Jeepin’ Week). Who else was on the list of people who ghosted me?
It was the window guy. He’d vanished in late spring. He’s a good fellow. I have some windows that are shot. (Actually all of my house windows are shot.) I’ve been trying to replace windows a bit at a time as I can afford it. I pick some windows each year and hurl money until they are fixed. Damn but it’s expensive! Perhaps in a decade or so they’ll all be done. Doing it all at once would break me!
The window guy had taken measurements on some (just a few!) of my windows, planned an order, claimed to have made the order, and then vanished… for months!
I expected the delay. In the modern world of post “just in time delivery” windows are custom made by faeries in magic-land. They certainly aren’t made locally and lets face it… is anything physically made by anyone anymore? Since nobody has a regular job, regular things like windows aren’t made in the ample supply we took for granted in “the before times”.
Delightfully, the order had finally arrived. The materials were at a nearby lumber yard. Now the dude’s was urgently rushing to pay for materials he’d ordered months ago. Back in the old universe, as recently as 2019, I’d have placed an order myself, paid with credit card, and gotten delivery in a jiffy. Regardless of anyone’s opinion about it; the world of business collapsed up here in the hinterland long ago. We’re edging into Mad Max territory but with a lot more congeniality and fewer oiled up Australian body builders. Also, it feels like the Mad Max warriors of the wastelands had a larger supply of welders and infinitely better mechanics than what’s available for my homestead.
Getting windows in under a six month wait is good news. It’s no longer “ridiculously slow” and drifts into “thank God it happened at all”. Unfortunately, the guy showed up at my door with his arm in a sling. Literally, like “fell off a ladder” broke. Daaaaaamn! I’m not the only guy dealing with injuries. We both hope the windows are installed by snowfall. He did a similar job a few years ago and his workmanship is excellent.
So yeah, I started the weekend by sleepily handing a check to a not-quite stranger and hoping it goes towards windows and not meth. Trust is a part of all transactions… so I’m stuck trusting. I’m reasonably assured it will work out. If not, I’ll go to his house and kick his ass. If my check bounces I assume he’ll do the same to me. (I wouldn’t have it any other way.)
I miss the old world of receipts and prompt delivery according to written schedules but it’s unwise to wait for what will never be again. One must deal with the society that is, not the one that once was and has fallen; nor should we wait for the imagined future that will never arrive. Rome on the Potomac has fallen as surely as the true Rome of yore did in the 5th century; might as well roll with it.
Before y’all get pedantic on me about the window guy, both of us are doing taxes and such. It’s completely aboveboard… and so are the lumberyard and window factory. We’re all legit people. It’s just that nobody has the “float” to do it smoothly and orderly like the old days of 3 years ago.
Stay tuned…
I’d applaud you if the work were belowboard. Taxation is theft, after all. Okay, sure, in this case they don’t take the money, you voluntarily give it to them.
But if an armed man came to your home, demanded some percentage of your possessions, and threatened to kidnap you unless you gave in, would giving in be voluntary? Food for thought, and all the best to you and yours
Never forget, Michael, that there are now another 87,000 IRS FedPigs to sniff out anyone who work under the table. ESPECIALLY if they do not continually sing hosannas to Slow Joe!
Was the tarp a blue one? If it was then I would dub thee an honorary Alaskan
Of course it was blue. Can’t put on airs by buying one of those higher quality grey/silver tarps!