Unexceptional State Park was not fully booked up. Maybe 2/3 of the sites were filled. Meanwhile, Raspberry Hollow was totally deserted. Normally I prefer the fewest people possible. Had I made an unwise choice?
I sat by a tiny fire at Unexceptional State Park, sipping bourbon and reading a backlit e-book. At first, right after sunset, I heard the sounds of humans being humans. Children bitched about bedtime. Parents chuckled happily once the tykes were in bed. Occasionally a dog would bark. I came to appreciate that. Maybe being utterly alone at Raspberry Hollow on such a dark night would’ve been a bit much?
Everyone got quiet by 10pm; almost like clockwork. Why are humans so…. uniform? I don’t get it. I don’t do that.
I’m a night owl and a solo camper. I usually love the dark. However, this particular evening was foreboding. The moonless and cloudy sky was pitch dark. No light pollution but also not the tiniest hint by which to see. The humid cold air was brooding. Even the furtive creatures of the forest had hunkered down. I heard an owl fly by on whisper quiet wings… but nothing else of the animals about me.
I kept reading. Entranced by a book I’d first read in high school.
There, in the pitch dark, utterly alone, I read for hours. I’d inadvertently picked the dour ending of a dark book. Dune Messiah; book 2 of the Dune series. Paul Muad’Dib, tortured visionary and Kwisatz Haderach; unleasher of galactic jihad and ruinous Messiah figure, fights a losing battle with pre-destination. He desperately picks through the threads of possible futures in search of salvation but there is none for him. He inevitably comes to grief. For all his powers, his fate was unavoidable. He could not avoid the pain.
I read that while alone in the dark? What the hell was I thinking?!?
Talk about feeling alone! Far from my wife and family. Far from anything. In the pitch black heartless night, I both loved and hated the ending. Couldn’t I have had at least the common sense to have a dog with me… or pick a book that ‘aint so damn bitter?
After the last page, I stumbled to my tent and hunkered sadly in my sleeping bag. I should pick better literature for lonely dark nights!
