Firewood Update: Market Solution: Part 2

I decided to buy firewood. That means finding someone in my sparsely populated rural area that will work for money. Trees are coming out of our ears up here. The resource is plentiful. But it’s just plan tough to process it and a lot of our modern world is wrapped up in not doing dirty outdoor work.

I miss the classifieds, but they’re gone so no luck with that approach. Nothing posted at the local feed store or gas station. Everything here is word of mouth and I don’t know anybody.

Craigslist turned up what might be Frank’s forest based underworld lair. (If you don’t know about Frank pour a drink and begin reading Firewood Saga: Part 0. You’ll love the story.) I stayed the hell away from that mess! Aside from Frank, the rest was from far away. (Firewood is heavy, it doesn’t pay to truck it far.)


Then, miracle of miracles, I found a business card of a dude who collects Model Ts and (on the side?) sells firewood. I’ve kept that business card for years! I’ve bought firewood from him before and he’s a good egg. He always brings 2 cords in a hydraulic dump box. It is usually good wood (if split a little chunkier than I’d like) and he has never stiffed me. Every time I stack a cord of wood from him it’s the equivalent of 4′ x 4′ x 8′. It ‘aint cheap but he usually shows up with actual wood.

I set the card on my workbench, made a call using my landline. It’s a novelty using a landline. I never get to make a local call. For me it’s a local call to virtually nobody. Except the wood guy!

Annnnnd… he didn’t answer.

I left a message, but I had a feeling he never checks them. (I don’t check mine either.)

Three days later I decided to give it another shot. The bench was cleared. I’d cleaned up and the card was long gone. I’d saved that business card for years and then tossed it when I actually needed it. What a dumbass!

I fiddled with my phone and deduced the outgoing landline number. I called again. And again. And again.

And again.

And again.

The business card had a cell phone number too. I so very dearly wish I’d retained the cell number. I suspect he only answers his cell.

But I didn’t have the number. I suck.

 

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.
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6 Responses to Firewood Update: Market Solution: Part 2

  1. Timbotoo says:

    Same here. I think Karma is really Loki, as I can hold onto something for years and then need it a week after I’ve finally thrown it out in a cleanup. The week long delay is crucial, if I needed it immediately, I could dig through the garbage to rescue it.

  2. Glenfilthie says:

    Hmmmm.

    Most people don’t realize how much 3 chords of wood are. How many do ya need to make the winter, AC?

    I had back problems so I broke down and bought an electric splitter. It sure helped but the stacking is still a pain.

    If I had to stack wood like you, I’d pull out all the stops: I’d set up wheel barrows on both sides of the splitter so that I didn’t have to bend over, and start looking at any cheat I could to save my back and save me handling it as much as possible. I’d love to come out and see if we could cheat our way out of the problem just for fun! 🙂

    Over on OyTube, “Outdoors With The Morgans” has a channel and they have the mother of all log splitters and even a conveyor to pile it. How much money have you got, AC? Can ya get a few partners to throw in with ya?

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      Oh yeah, I’m all about brains over brawn. And you are correct, 3 chords is an absolute mountain of wood. Every little thing I can do to cut back on work I’ve done.

      I have a 27 ton hydraulic splitter… the whole point of the industrial revolution was to make that splitter! Predictably, I used the thing well beyond design spec and that led to a breakdown on the highway and then the saga of rebuilding it better, faster, stronger. (Story starts here: http://adaptivecurmudgeon.com/2015/03/18/my-woodsplitter-goes-to-eleven-part-0/) or you can look on my notable sagas page (http://adaptivecurmudgeon.com/sagas/). Now it has highway tires and street lights and it’s my pride and joy. I ought to test it out on a drag strip.

      I’ve been thinking of conveyors quite a bit. So far I haven’t built anything; sooner or later I might. I’ve stashed a bunch of wheels from a garage door that I’d like to use for some sort of gravity chute. Wish me luck.

      Also I’m now basking in the joy of a bucket loader (not the perfect solution you’d imagine bit a big help.) Also, a sawbuck meant for my bucksaw (I love saying that!) has been repurposed for chainsaw use. It’s pretty hand for anything light enough to lift onto the sawbuck. I posted it here: http://adaptivecurmudgeon.com/2019/02/12/sawbuck-for-my-bucksaw/ Warning: there’s a sad part to that post so you might want to avoid it.

      I can’t get partners to throw in with me. I can barely get people to be aware for safety purposes. “I’m going to fell some trees, stay near the landline in case I call you with my cell or SpotX. If you don’t hear the saw for more than 30 minutes, hike out to see if I’m bleeding out under a tree, follow the ATV tracks.” I must be something of an asshole because I usually work alone.

      I’ll check out “Outdoors With The Morgans”.

  3. Robert says:

    OMG. Yer clearly suffering so I won’t be snarky.

  4. Mark Matis says:

    There’s always Franks for the memories!

    Julie needs an onion sandwich, man!

  5. terrapod says:

    Take the following as a rational suggestion from someone who has been there and done that. For the last few years I have been scanning and saving business card files as PDF files at work, saved my bacon more than once. On retirement, I find myself taking a picture of every business card of interest then making the file name match the general service or theme, Auto parts – name or service. That way I can sort quickly and locate the card. Back up weekly onto your computer too. Seems silly but it puts everything in your pocket and if your carrier has a cloud backup service, then you are even better protected. I know, horse out of the barn and all that, but a good habit going forward. If you can, try “letgo” and “facebook marketplace”. seems to be where all locals are going now and I just sold 4 VW wheels within 48 hours of placing the ad on “letgo” so it appears to work.

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