Kayak Challenge

About a month ago I wrote:

“Kayaks (for no discernible reason) seem largely the domain of vegan cat ladies who carry them around on Subarus adorned with left wing bumper stickers. Most of them only paddle on sunny weekends. Invariably they paddle in groups. I suspect chardonnay may be involved? Not my scene. (Doubt my assessment of kayaks in America in 2019? Fine. Send me a photo of a burly man solo kayaking a moose quarter through a swamp and I’ll recant.)”

A reader sent this. That speck in the lower right corner is the kayaker who is clearly doing an epic paddle. No moose but whomever this is, he/she is sufficiently bad ass that I recant my “vegan cat ladies in Subarus” statement.

Not to be outdone, another commenter sent the link to this:

OK fine. Y’all win. 90% of what I’ve seen in the kayak world has has been on the “vegan cat lady” side of the scale but I now admit some folks are out there kayaking like a Norse God. The fact that I’m not seeing them reflects more on me than kayaks. If I got my ass out on the water more maybe I’d meet more dudes like this.

Touche’ internet!

A.C.

P.S. I have no idea who these people are, where they are, or if they want their photos posted on some nitwit’s blog. If you’re the person in either photos and want it gone… send me an e-mail and your wish is my command. Also, way to be awesome!

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.
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15 Responses to Kayak Challenge

  1. Mark Matis says:

    And then there’s THIS duo:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1vWqKNPcq4

    Not moose, but…

  2. William Ashbless says:

    In the 50’s there was a Swede named Hannes Lindemann that crossed the Atlantic in a folding kayak.

  3. Glenfilthie says:

    In my next life, I am building a cedar strip kayak. And I will have time to use it like a Norse God too.

    I think your assessment of the kayak crowd is more true than false.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      Go for it, building such a thing is fun. Having built the simplest easiest sailboat in creation (a Puddle Duck Racer) I now believe every man should build one watercraft before they die. It was just so much more fun than doing carpentry around the house!

      Yes, kayaks are totally awesome, the sportbikes of the paddled watercraft world… but they’re rarely used as such. They’re much like a big killer 4×4 truck that hauls nothing but groceries.

      • sam says:

        “I now believe every man should build one watercraft before they die.”
        Hmm, does the pirate ship child’s bed I built a few years ago for a client qualify? It even had a cannon that shot smoke rings.
        Thanks for posting my picture and adding it to your blog. it was fun seeing it there. And I agree with you about the 4×4 and groceries. Most kayakers I have met – all 4 of them – spend their time paddling about ponds.

        • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

          Smoke ring cannon? Oh that’s awesome. I want one! 🙂

          I’ve met one kayaker about 3 days out in Canada. He was with two canoers.

    • sam says:

      I think you are spot on there with the Kayak crowd, there arae some who take everything to its limits, most dont.
      While I was really impressed seeing that kayak cruise by our ship that morning, I have wondered ever since; did they really paddle all the way from the nearest small town 70-ish sea miles away? Or did they get flown in? I want to believe they paddled, it was Alaska after all.

      • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

        Yep. Barring evidence to the contrary… he paddled there. Heck, even if he was flown that’s cooler than paddling around with a group on a tame pond.

  4. p2 says:

    Even here in the frozen north, where the opportunity to Norse God kayak runs rampant,there is an overabundance of puke green Subaru Outback station wagons with high dollar plastic kayaks strapped to the roof above the requisite Golden Retriever. And all of them driven by Columbia clad, Birkenstock wearin’, Bernie votin’, NPR addicts doing 15 mph below every one else as they save the whales 1 gallon at a time.

  5. AZDave says:

    I prefer the kayak with fore and aft decks. I like lids in deck, giving access for storing waterproof bags of persona gear. The fibergass models are great for those that can afford them and are usually lighter in weight. The roto-mold type fit my budget however.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      I have a rotomolded kayak with a lidded storage compartment. The storage is ample for an afternoon tooling about but would suck for a week’s travels. It’s fun to use but just isn’t as much fun as canoes and sailboats. Not sure why, but my preferences run elsewhere I guess.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      What the hell am I seeing? Is there some dude with a crazy open class dragracing dunebuggy railcar thing that’s got a kayak strapped on the roof and a U-Haul hitched on back? Did that really happen?

      • Mark Matis says:

        It’s Rocky Mountain Race Week:
        https://rockymountainraceweek.com/

        Cleetus was the first stick shift car into the 7 second timing with his C5 Corvette “Leroy”. Leroy has no body panels, and RMRW is run and drive. All the cars will drive 1300 miles over the course of the event, from track to track to track. It’s raining along the route, and Cleetus was having a miserable time. So they made themselves a cardboard “top” for the car, but the rain messed that up rather thoroughly. They stopped by a Wally World which had kayaks on sale, and they realized that would give them some rain protection. And when they got to the track in the link above, they passed tech inspection and the track said they could leave the kayak on top as long as it was secure:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNAooP0Iscw
        (@24:35)

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