Marsha, Marsha, Marsha

[I named this post because when I hear the press rant “Russia, Russia, Russia” I hear “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha”. For the cultural reference I posted a Brady Bunch clip. It’s followed by a great satirical take. Then my post’s text. Enjoy.]

The Muller report is in. After years (!) of “the walls are closing in” there’s a report that says everything I expected; which is basically nothing. If you pinned hopes (and even a deep need) to reverse the legal and peaceful electoral transition of power in one of the biggest republics in the world… sorry. A made up story of Russian based peeing hookers sounds better in your head than it panned out in reality. The immolation by his past life of crime of Cheeto Jesus has turned out to be a nothingburger. Trump knew it would go this way… he let this thing simmer all this time taking daily crotch shots in the press because he knew the number of skeletons in this closet was zero. Dude’s more patient than me.

I’m not surprised but not everyone thinks like me. (Which is a good thing; I talk to trees fer crissakes.)

Sadly, it’s a sledgehammer of bitter cognitive dissonance to folks who’ve painted themselves into a corner. Fervent anti-Trumpers have got to be suffering today. Rock solid evidence that reality that doesn’t confirm your notions is a difficult inflection point. I don’t envy them.

It’s hard on a soul to just plain have an incorrect idea. You had a notion. It seemed right. It wasn’t. Everything went to hell.

But it didn’t go to hell, the thing that went to hell was you. Your ego took a beating. Your self esteem got wrapped up in a political fight. You pinned too much of yourself on something you can’t control.

What put you in hell was you. It’s a cage of the mind. Neither Beelzebub nor Trump has trapped anyone. A person can walk through the unlocked door of their own cage. Just get over it.

Here are a few times to suck it up and learn from bad news:

• That new car you bought… it’s a lemon.
• That job you worked hard to get… it sucks.
• The woman you liked… she’s a harpy.
• Your major in college… it’s useless.
• No matter how hard you try… you suck at skill X.

You were so certain, but it just wasn’t so. Information that doesn’t comport with your world view is trying to tell you something. If you accept it you’ll have to endure the misery of having been incorrect.

The only way to avoid that minor unpleasantness we’ve all faced is to distance yourself from discomforting reality. Boy oh boy is that a trap. Dodge reality even a little bit and it’ll fuck you up! It only lets the incorrect notion lodge deeper in your heart. It becomes important to protect that notion. You start to shepherd your precious notion. You grind yourself up to protect it from reality’s jagged edges.

That’s how you wind up saying profoundly stupid things. What’s worse you double down.

• The car is pretty awesome… except for the blown engine, which could happen to anybody. And I’m sinking a lot of money into rebuilding it because it’s such a great car.
• The job is great except the boss just hired his son who is mismanaging the place. I’m going to stay there because the boss will eventually understand I’m a great employee and his son is a tool.
• She maxed my credit card, keyed my car, and had a three way with the gardener and my sister, but I’m sure we can work it out.
• My degree in Archaic Greek Fetish Symbolism is going to pay off after I do this unpaid internship for a few years.
• I’m going to hockey camp again. The scouts are sure to see me if I make a big play.

There’s an alternative. Take a deep breath, put on the brakes, and say; “this thing I was certain about has turned out to be incorrect.” Say it clearly, loudly, and in public. Then it’s done. You did it. Feels like shit doesn’t it? Sorry. But the hard part is over. Drink a six pack, cry a little, and get over it. Even if everyone is laughing at you, they’ve been there too.

I mean it. We’ve all had to do it. There is no life without disappointment. If you’ve had no disappointment you’re not an adult.

More importantly, there are 300,000,000+ Americans and it’s unwise to disassociate yourself from the truth that some of them have different world views. Just accept it. They’re not murderous alien monstrosities. Quit projecting fantasies that they’re just itching to rape your cat and set fire to your mailbox. They’re just different people with different opinions.

How did we get here? Where there are people on TV looking weepy because the president is not a traitor? Isn’t that good news? We got here from successive points of cognitive dissonance. Each time was a chance to step back from the abyss… or a moment where one could double down.

Folks who thought Trump could never win the Republican nomination had to decide what to do when he earned the nomination. Was it a mistake in their world view? It was a moment where they could say “well, apparently the nitwits of the Stupid party really want him”. Or double down; “he won because he’s a lying, cheating, Tweeting, space monster, who used the magic power of Orange to steal the primary”.

It would have been easier to get off the crazy train right then. “Don’t like him but apparently he’s a contender.” Pretty painless right? Rip the band-aid off and get on with life.

Those who didn’t were lined up for a bad shock when he won the election. I accepted election results at odds with a hyper-partisan press with a shrug of my shoulders; “Apparently the press was as wrong as they sounded, neato. ” Folks who were already going crazy that he was even in the running were faced with a mountainous point of cognitive dissonance. It was a good time to step off the crazy train; “there are over 70,000,000 Americans who willingly voted for Trump… there’s no accounting for taste but it is what it is.” Accept the information and get over it.

The dangerous path is to double down again: “70,000,000 Americans were tricked into this! They didn’t know what they were doing! The count was wrong! They were attacked by Russian paratroopers and marched to the voting booth at gunpoint!”

Doubling down allows one to avoid saying “The idea I previously held was incorrect. He really can win”

Now a biased investigation that could’ve nailed Mother Theresa for racketeering didn’t find collusion on Trump. Trump has been deeply investigated with rubber gloves and a team of lawyers. He’s come out clean; he can say “not a whiff of scandal” and have written backup. (OK, it was mean to use Obama’s words there, but it was fun.)

Time to work through cognitive dissonance and rejoin reality. Trump isn’t Hitler. He didn’t put anyone on cattle cars and ship them to Dachau. He didn’t tank the economy. The lights are still on. He didn’t cause a nuclear war with North Korea. While he was busy not causing war, he found time to not cause famine and pestilence too. The interesting thing is that a lot of this is good stuff. Much of it is imagined disaster that didn’t happen.

Everyone should be happy with a disaster that didn’t happen. If your well being requires bad things to happen you’ve got problems.

Also, I hope folks gain a little perspective. Trump’s not God; he doesn’t know your name, he’s not lurking in the bushes in your backyard, and he won’t cut you off in traffic. Presidents are just people that come and go. Trump’s doing at least as well as an average president and the sky hasn’t fallen. There are worse fates.

Of course, one of those fates is to pick over the emptiness of the Mueller Report looking for a reason to double down again. Now they’re trying to redefine the word “exonerate”.  That’s doubling down yet once more. I can’t talk anyone out of it but I sincerely hope everyone suffers as little as possible. I’m sure Russia Russia Russia, isn’t over. There are people who make a living at it, so it’ll continue. I just hope the crazy train leaves the station with as few passengers as possible.