Lipstick On A Pig

Dr. Mingo is well aware of my opinions about the AMC Gremlin. He sent me these photos to encourage me to consider alternative viewpoints.

I like the mostly empty engine compartment. It has a certain tractor like appeal.

So, given this new information, am I ready to accept that the AMC Gremlin has merit?

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.

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9 Responses to Lipstick On A Pig

  1. richardcraver says:

    Sorta like picking up a turd by the clean end and polishing it?

  2. Timbotoo says:

    A future classic! I do like how clean the engine compartment is.

  3. Mack505 says:

    I understand your hatred of the Gremlin, but I’d like to point out the alternatives. If you wanted to Buy American in 1973 your choices were the Gremlin, the Pinto, or the Vega. Gremlins are not the problem, ther’re a symptom of the general suck that was the 1970’s.

    Full disclosure: Mom had a 1974 and loved it. It never exploded, so it was probably the best choice among bad alternatives.

  4. Max Damage says:

    What continues to baffle me is, at the same time the Gremlin was being designed, in the *very next room* there was another designer making this:

    http://www.americanpartsdepot.com/images/Doug%20House%202.jpg

    The Gremlin was a forlorn attempt to make a car the same length as the VW Bug look like an American car, as in large enough you might survive the impact with a medium-sized cat. As such I can sort of understand being a designer and, given an impossible task, not caring so much. He did better than the poor slob given the task of designing what would become the Pacer. That poor guy had to probably slam a six-pack just to get the courage to show up to work each morning! I can’t tell if the doors being asymmetric were done just out of spite or because the other designers probably pantsed him and thumbed his glasses and he couldn’t read his own slide rule.

    Even the Matador actually looked decent once it was slathered with some good ol’ American paint and powered by Penske:

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_o7ySPdp-gU/VKXtweeYJAI/AAAAAAADgK4/5DxnJk22Wwc/s1600/10847603_987065024640961_1026088338706367157_o.jpg

    Had to be a bad time to work at AMC. They even had Oleg Cassini (a noted designer of wedding dresses and pusher of perfumes) working on their interiors! How the hell did that happen? Did you ever approach a potential new car purchase with the intent of using it for one day and think, boy it better match my shoes or there’s going to be hell to pay because I ordered this car months ago and that new car smell doesn’t have enough lavender?

    Here’s 2600lbs of twisted steel and sex appeal, to me the finest-looking American car ever to roll off the line. Curves just like your honey, draws your eyes from the fun protrusions on the front to the sweet lines behind. Painted up to say she’s American Made and if you do your job right she’ll give you the Stars and Stripes Forever!

    http://www.historictransam.com/images/additions/New%20folder/_RAM5151b.jpg

    There is just something wrong with the universe when the Mustang ][ and the Pacer can be made by the same companies that turned out the Boss 302 and the Javelin. Whatever it was, it took us until the Dodge Viper to recover.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      AMC was so bad it had it’s own gravitational pull of failure. Plus the 1970’s were just plain ugly all around. 55 MPH speed limits, Carter’s cardigan, and an EPA noose that mandated vehicles which could barely get out of their own way.

      Dodge seems determined to continue it’s proud tradition of sucking. I have a Dodge truck and it can barely steer. (I love the Cummins engine; probably because it’s not by Dodge.) The front end is a constant & expensive worry. How hard can it be, in an era of immensely powerful computers, untold wealth, and unchecked liability lawyers, to finally master steering geometry?

      When Dodge came out with the Magnum I lusted after it. The design was appealing and I have a soft spot in my heart for a car that is unabashedly a car. (I’ll never forgive the minivan for replacing a V-8 powered family four door station wagons with soulless potatos on wheels.) But I had a friend with a Magnum and the brakes were always wonky. Seriously? Brakes?

      Wonky brakes and “death wobble” steering. If Detroit was hit by a meteor the planet’s engineers would sleep better at night.

  5. Did you ‘Merica today?
    NSFW

  6. chunt31854 says:

    A friend of mine in high school had a Gremlin with a 390 stuffed into it. The torque when it idled made it look like Michael J. Fox.

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