So I bitched that Amazon is torturing me with stupid ads. Then I got a delivery faster than reasonably expected and forgave them.
Then I checked the link that I’d used and… those fuckers took it away!
I’m not making this up:
Yesterday evening I was inspired by Lawdog who likes pens. I ordered a set of three cheap pens from Amazon. It wasn’t a mission critical supply run. I’ve got pens. Also I could drive to town and back trying to buy them locally. (Locally I’d probably find those style of pens were out of stock, the store was closed, and fuck you ya’ stupid consumer. Capitalism in the hinterland is a strange thing. Customer service sometimes verges on the Soviet. Don’t laugh, while us deplorable rubes are getting ignored, urbane airline passengers are getting beaten. Same shit, different location.)
So there I was… Amazon wanted $7.79 (free shipping… all hail Prime). But what’s this? A third party seller? I clicked “other sellers on Amazon” and found the same thing for $5.00 (free shipping included) from a company that rhymes with Orifice Despot.
Who wouldn’t want to save a few bucks? I clicked on the $5 option and printed out the “receipt”. It said something about delivery in August(!). Whoa, that’s slow! But it’s just a pen and I did make the cheap choice. I muttered darkly about Sears and prepared to wait a week and a half.
The next day, before the coffee pot was drained, the pens arrived. How cool is that? Just in time delivery really is a miracle! I dashed off a quick apology to the great database in the sky and put up a link to other people who want Lawdog inspired writing implements.
Just now I realized the $5 option I saw yesterday…. is gone. Amazon took the damn thing away! I don’t know if you, my readers, can save $2.79 by ordering from Orifice Despot but Amazon censored it from my view.
Those dirty rotten stinking shitheads!
Apparently I have co-dependency issues with Amazon. (I’m loving the instant and cheap Kindle download of Lawdog’s book while grumbling over the planer ad when I turn the infernal device on. Note: the book is good. I already own a fucking planer. I think I should switch to decaf.)
If you’ll excuse me it’s time to turn off this damn computer. I’m going to stack wood and think about squirrels.