Totally True Facts
- A blogger without Internet access is a truck driver equipped with a mule.
- I drove to a yuppie coffee shop (i.e. enemy territory) specifically for WiFi only to discover that their WiFi was down and the coffee I make in my kitchen is better than the sputum of Satan which they somehow manage to foist on their customers. (In all fairness the bar is set pretty high. I don’t cook much of anything but I make rockin’ coffee.) When I asked the drone at the counter if their WiFi was malfunctioning she fixed me with a stare akin to when I explain physics to a Labrador Retriever. Further when I said, “I don’t mind the ‘net is down because I came here specifically to enjoy this putrid $4 coffee” she did not recognize it as sarcasm. (I can only assume putrid is a word she had never heard? Actually I’d feel better if I knew she was stoned. If you’re stupid while stoned there’s always the possibility you’ll brighten up after a good night’s sleep.)
- I’m convinced the reason for #2 is that hipster ironic glasses that people wear to express their individualism by pretending they’re Elvis Costello cause brain cancer.
- It has been snowing two out of the last two days. Which is 100% more than it should be snowing.
- I have no idea when this will be posted. Luckily it’s a blog and not a nuclear reactor. I can ignore it for a while. Carry on without me!
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