Adaptive Curmudgeon

A brace is no good without bits. Modern bits are expensive and lack “history”. So I made a wild ass bid on some “old” bits on e-bay. I think I did OK:

The photo’s not great but the bits seem OK. I’ve got duplicates of a few sizes. There are a few odd ducks (three adjustable spade bits on top left). Some look ready to go right now. A few could use sharpening (not that I know how to sharpen a 100 year old bit). Some have a bit of patina but none have pitting rust. One is slightly bent but only a little. I’ve heard they can be straightened.

I’m stashing them away until winter. Summer’s a busy time for me. Some cold frozen weekend I’m going to sit down with a file (or whatever) and a glass of whiskey. I’ll patiently see if I can sharpen what needs sharpening. If it works out I’ve pretty much got all the “bit and brace” a man needs. If not, at least I had fun shopping and it wasn’t too expensive.

Dale Cooper is a man of wisdom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjkVgc6gIqk

Last week I made a $10 impulse buy:

The best part is I got it from “some dude”. I met him while shopping at a woodworking store. The store didn’t carry a “brace” but this guy, whoever he was, had one in the backseat of his car and was glad to sell it. I think he roams the world picking up tools at garage sales and whatnot. He keeps them in his car to dispense (at a modest profit) to folks like me. He hangs out in woodworking shops looking for people who like tools that don’t have laser sights and two phase AC motors.

As far as I’m concerned he’s a tool based superhero.

About a month ago I wrote:

“Kayaks (for no discernible reason) seem largely the domain of vegan cat ladies who carry them around on Subarus adorned with left wing bumper stickers. Most of them only paddle on sunny weekends. Invariably they paddle in groups. I suspect chardonnay may be involved? Not my scene. (Doubt my assessment of kayaks in America in 2019? Fine. Send me a photo of a burly man solo kayaking a moose quarter through a swamp and I’ll recant.)”

A reader sent this. That speck in the lower right corner is the kayaker who is clearly doing an epic paddle. No moose but whomever this is, he/she is sufficiently bad ass that I recant my “vegan cat ladies in Subarus” statement.

Not to be outdone, another commenter sent the link to this:

OK fine. Y’all win. 90% of what I’ve seen in the kayak world has has been on the “vegan cat lady” side of the scale but I now admit some folks are out there kayaking like a Norse God. The fact that I’m not seeing them reflects more on me than kayaks. If I got my ass out on the water more maybe I’d meet more dudes like this.

Touche’ internet!

A.C.

P.S. I have no idea who these people are, where they are, or if they want their photos posted on some nitwit’s blog. If you’re the person in either photos and want it gone… send me an e-mail and your wish is my command. Also, way to be awesome!

I built (not bought) my sailboat. Since I was already doing the “roll your own” approach, didn’t buy a regular sailboat trailer. I’ve been fiddling with various transportation alternatives with mixed results. Most of the time the boat rides in a “cradle” I made of 2″ x 4″s and padded with foam from pool noodles. The cradle is tied down in a firewood hauling utility trailer. It looks incredibly redneck but has worked for thousands of miles. I’m still refining solutions for bypassing boat ramps (I dislike being tied to boat ramp infrastructure).

I’ve spent a lot off time looking at homemade trailer designs. Now that I’ve got more “state park” / “overland” camping gear I want to get more organized (especially for carrying my huge Teton Cot and giant Gazelle T4 tent). Many ideas are to be found if you look.

About a month ago a reader, who’s clearly got his shit together (and carries a Teton cot too), sent me these photos:

Very cool! Here’s the description:

“The Harbor Freight kit is pretty popular for DIY motorcycle trailer projects – inexpensive, assembles easily, and pulls nicely.

Some folks build them with car-top carriers, but the TSC tool box worked better for carrying the Coleman 8-person Instant Tent and the Teton cot – the tent is about the same size as the when packed for travel. I put the cot on one side, the tent on the other, a folding chair on top of each, and bungee them down to the eye bolts.

The cooler rack is homebuilt and fastened to the tongue with u-bolts – a couple of bungee cords hold the cooler.”

…since I was spared by a moment of grace.

(If you want to read the story click here: A Moment Of Grace: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 3.5, Part 4.)

The summary is that a year ago I was hammered by a series of unfortunate events, including but not limited to exhaustion, illness, the death of loved ones, and eventually the near certainty that my beloved dog was going to die. None of these alone would break me but in sequence, with no rest or recovery between, it was crushing. Especially the dog. I was in no shape to handle that event at that time. Not everyone can understand the bond between a man and a good dog (and not everyone gets the blessing of having a good dog). It’s a two edged sword. It comes with the knowledge that you’ll outlive the dog; that’s part of the price.

When the world was darkest, in what I call a moment of grace, my dog got up from where I thought it had lain down to die. Death seemed a done deal but it simply didn’t happen. It’s as if the dog knew it had more work to do and so it didn’t leave me. It recovered and has been with me ever since. That moment, roughly a year ago, was a turning point. I struggled to the couch, very sick, and slept under the ever watchful eye of my dog. That’s when the fever broke and I began to recover. It took us both a few weeks to properly get back on our feet. But that was the moment when things went from decline to recovery.

Knowing the clock is ticking I’ve been extra nice to my dog. It’s retired now. Security duties it once handled are back on my shoulders. I don’t mind. I give it treats and am increasingly lax with discipline. That which was not allowed to the young pup is forgiven for the honored elder. I carefully administer medicine, treats, and lavish it with attention. Walks are whenever it wants for as long as it wants. The dog is old, the time will come… soon.

I hope, when I’m old, people treat me as well as I treat my dog.

Rewind many years: When the dog arrived to our house as a rolly polly little puppy we set it up for it’s first night without its brothers and sisters. This is always a hard time for a new puppy. It whined. One of our kids, God bless him, insisted that he be there for the little creature. I concurred. The kid slept on the floor in his tiny fireman sleeping bag near the puppy. The puppy calmed and slept. It was the sweetest thing.

It didn’t take long for the puppy to adjust. Only a night or two and the whining had passed. We established that the dog sleeps on the ground floor, the better to guard the door. That’s its domain and it has patrolled with dedication. I sleep better knowing anyone who enters my door at night will encounter 120+ pounds of guardian dog before I step in and take over. It’s a good arrangement.

Now the kid is much older. He is a fine young man, full of potential and charting his own course. The dog is very old, having already lived its lifespan; and performing admirably every step of the way as it did it.

Last week, there was a thunderstorm. The dog has never liked thunder, a threat for which it cannot ascertain the source. This time, the dog limped up the stairs, slowly, negotiating each step as only the elderly do. I heard it struggle, listening carefully in case I needed to help. It came to my bedside “there’s thunder, I don’t like it”.

A few years ago I’d have been firm “you sleep on the ground floor, get back on post”. No longer. I reassured it and let it sleep right there. It fell asleep with my hand on its head. Comically, it snored.

Full circle; my son reassuring it as a puppy,  many years of solo patrols, and now snoring  within inches of my bed. The cycle of life is beautiful.

I felt bad telling everyone that SpotX pricing is a wishy-washy mishmash of options (which is true if not a satisfying answer). I clicked to their pricing site and investigated. Here’s a summary:

Your basic, activated all year plan is $20 to activate and $12 a month. That includes 20 texts a month plus unlimited “check ins”. (I just discovered the pre-defined messages are free in addition to “check ins” which I already knew to be free. I should read fine print more.) It’ll cost you $12/month and add up to $164 a year.  I think that’s pretty good for what you’re getting.

A basic, only activate in months you want plan is $25 to activate and $15 a month. During the active months it’s the same # of texts; 20. This plan allows you to shut down service and then restart it without fees. (I haven’t tested this.) This means if you only want to use a SpotX for one month of elk hunting it’ll cost you $40 a year total. That ‘aint bad either.

I’ve already experimented enough to decided that 100 texts a month (which is what I got) is too much. 20 is probably fine given that pre-defined and “check in” are “free”.

There are more options. But that’s the gist of it.

There are few sexy options… totally not required but for my experimental first year I went nuts:

Remember how this all started with John Wick? He had pre-planned ass covering for situations where his ass needed covering. I wanted something like that for me! Well, for an extra $25 a year you can buy coverage for “up to $100K in Search and Rescue (SAR) expenses – even coordinating a private SAR contractor if needed to get you to safety”. Fine print tells me that’s $50k per event and 2 possible “events” which is plenty. (Fer crissakes if you need more than 2 extractions in one year they should put you on a leash.) I don’t plan on ever needing SAR but helicopters are expensive. You can’t even look at a helicopter without losing a mortgage payment and it goes up from there. I bought the $25 coverage. Hopefully I’ll never be able to tell you how well it works.

There’s also an AAA towing like service. $30 a year for “towing and roadside assistance, offering service on even the most obscure and hard to travel roads imaginable. It doesn’t matter if the roads are paved , dirt or gravel”. (Their words, not mine. I can imagine shit that’ll scare a billy goat so YMMV.) It implies they’ll retrieve things like ATV’s and snowmobiles. That said, I’m suspicious. I suspect they created loopholes for themselves and will say something like “we only cover ATVs on leap years” if you call them. Nonetheless I’ve been having carburetor issues with my Curmudgeonly Bug Out Vehicle (not the Dodge) and so I decided to get this service until I’m sure I’ve got the kinks worked out in the old beast. (More on the BOV when/if I get it ready for primetime.)

[I’m pretty sure I’ve beaten this horse into the ground. However, if you’ve got a question of any sort, just put it in comments. I’ve been testing the hell out of my SpotX and am glad to share.]

It doesn’t even look like a cell phone. (Link goes to Amazon, you know the rest.)

Are there alternatives to the SpotX? Are the alternatives better?

Yes, there are several two-way satellite communication options on the market. Some are pretty neat. That’s a good question you just asked.

The SpotX and its competitors are probably starting an arm’s race. Two-way satellite communication for regular schlubs on a hunting trip is still in its infancy but soon it’ll be as common as GPS. Probably it will leapfrog or overlap with regular cell phones in many markets. Why not?

But that’s the future and I’m concerned with right now. Currently the SpotX’s main competition are old (very crude by comparison) EPIRB devices, satphones (which are spendy), and a new crop of Bluetooth antennae gadgets that link to a smartphone.

The antennae devices are where the action’s at. They link with a special App on the smartphone creating an indirect but certainly usable link to satellite constellations. They’re very cool, very small, and quite James Bond-ish. I hate ‘em but that’s just me.

Occasionally, antennae devices are mixed in with the hardware and abilities of a GPS. Garmin has something like that. It’s a neat idea to mix SAR beacon and GPS navigation. I might spring for one but the GPS/Sat-antennae devices are a solid $100 – $150 more than a SpotX and you wind up babysitting a damn phone. For $100 savings I can use a regular GPS (always carry a compass too). Also, the care and feeding of a smartphone is a hassle I don’t want.

The cell phone angle has drawbacks that nobody cares about (but me) and it has advantages that don’t impress me but astound others. The smartphone is most of the GUI and does most of the work. They have sexy features like weather reports and data plans and you can probably satellite uplink dick picks to Tinder if you try hard enough. I see all that and recoil. I sense many points of failure. But that’s me. My strategy is caution and reliability and that makes me a geezer who wants to ramble about solo and live forever. Who am I to hold out against Millennials who urgently need to post on Snapchat? For many people, especially young ones, the smartphone app is a more natural interface.

Pricewise, Bluetooth/smartphone pairing is more expensive than the SpotX; both for hardware and for service. Most people spend more on their smart phone & data plans than I can stomach so that’s not an issue to them. I suspect smartphone linked devices will be the majority of the market over the next 5 years or so. A dedicated device that does everything on its own, like the SpotX, is (in my opinion) more reliable but it may get BetaMaxed. (Which doesn’t mean I care. Nothing electronic you buy in 2019 will be “modern” in 2029 so why sweat what 2029 people will use.)

Personally, I wouldn’t touch a cell phone app-based system with a ten-foot pole. Daily use shit (a cell phone) and emergency use shit (your satellite communicator) shouldn’t be mixed together. The SpotX is an odd duck in that it’s all in one. It’s a single housing with the display, keyboard, antenna, battery, electronics, software, etc… I like that because it insulates me from emergency gear shutting down to do an OS upgrade or because iTunes wants to sell me some bullshit or because Zuckerberg is having a bad hair day.

My logic is to prefer the SpotX because it’s smarter than an EPIRB but too crude to play Angry Birds. Better to do what it does very well than do irrelevant shit that doesn’t matter. YMMV.

What’s the price for the SpotX?

About $250. Shop around but it’s pretty price stable. It’s only been around since last fall so it might drop a little with time? I don’t imagine it’ll drop too far in price. Buying hardware doesn’t include buying the service.

What’s with the SpotX keyboard?

In some reviews people freak out over the SpotX’s keyboard. It’s basically a Blackberry. Fuck them. Touchscreens freeze, break, and get inadvertently jostled in a backpack. The Blackberry approach was the right choice… for the intended purpose.

Warning, it is small. You will need to squint at the screen and type with your thumbs. Google up a photo of someone texting on a Blackberry someday. It worked and humanity endured.

Does it have spell check?

No. It’s a goddamn emergency two way satellite communicator. If you can’t spell properly for 140 characters you don’t deserve to be rescued.

What’s a SPOT?

There’s at thing called a SPOT. That’s the device that pre-dates the SpotX (which hasn’t even been on the market a full year). SPOT uses the same satellites and SAR (search and rescue) network but it’s not two way. You can send pre-designated message and that’s it. It’s inflexible but much cheaper. It’s still a damned fine tracker/beacon and might save your ass for a bargain basement price. When the SpotX came out, the price for a SPOT fell through the floor. You might consider one if that’s how you roll.

What is the price for the service?

Scott Adams once wrote that cell phone companies had only one thing to sell, minutes. So, they came up with complex pricing plans as a “confuseoply”. Price comparing two-way satellite coms is the same. It’s an apples to oranges clusterfuck.  For the SpotX you pre-pay for so many messages and I think you can send additional ones if needed. Some SpotX plans have it “always active” and others let you shut it down (and save) months at a time. You cannot use a SpotX without paying for the nerds that man the satellite & SAR end of things. It’s not a HAM radio.

There are a range of plan options and it’s not cheap but not too expensive. Figure a base price of $164/year to have it live all the time every day and totally usable. Figure a minimum of $40/year to have it live one month (elk hunt? rafting trip?) and dead the other 11 months but you can activate for another month for another $15 supposedly without much hassle. Beyond that you can easily double your expenses signing up for bells and whistles.

There are other two-way satellite com and satellite phone companies and plans. The plan is the bigger expense of the emergency communicator costs. The best I can say is that I chose SpotX.

Does it have GPS?

It has to have location information so it can send your location to people. It also has simple navigation to and from waypoints.

In practice, the GPS is slow to pick up a signal if it has been off or in a fast moving vehicle. It seems fine if you’re hiking. I think it’s good practice to set a waypoint when you leave your truck or whatever but the SpotX is not a great navigation device.

I have a GPS that works great as a GPS. It’s the size and weight of two golf balls. Call me crazy but separate redundant gadgets seems a good solution.

Also, carry a map and compass. Always.

What’s the battery life?

It varies. It’s not as long as I’d like but it’s not too short either. I can see how a little practice teaches the user to max the battery life to a much better level.

When I flog the SpotX mercilessly (which is how I test emergency stuff) it starts to go dead or near dead in three days. But it still sent and received and might have had a fourth day left. Three days was underwhelming but in retrospect that’s 72 consecutive hours of GPS and sending its location (“tracking”) every so many minutes. Also I messed with it a lot.

Now that I’ve got the hang of it and quit abusing the poor device, I can get much more time. Figure a week without breaking a sweat and two weeks with abundant care. Also you could leave it off for many weeks and probably it’ll hold a charge.

Here’s where you need to break cell phone type bad habits. For example, why the hell was I leaving an emergency tracker on when I was asleep in the tent? I posted my location when I got there. I’m still there. Why burn batteries when I’m snoring? Bad thinking!

It’s got an off button. Once I started using it, I doubled the battery life. Duh!

It charges with regular USB. It comes with an AC charger but I use an adapter with my truck cigarette lighter.

How do I use it in an emergency?

There’s an obvious button hidden behind a special door on the front of the device. Open the door and press the “save my ass” button.

Once you’ve done that, you will get instant attention from an SAR operator who will probably start texting you questions about the nature of your emergency. They’ll alert the Marines or send out an ambulance or whatever from their end.

I have no doubt that the SAR services are top notch. Possibly even better than calling 911 if you’re not in a standard house… though I don’t know that.

For obvious reasons don’t fiddle with that button!

As part of my review of the SpotX, a few people asked about the SpotX privacy policy. Put on your tinfoil hats folks because here’s my Curmudgeonly opinion. We’re all screwed. Accept that you’re screwed. Embrace the suck and plan accordingly.

As far as I can tell, there isn’t a SpotX privacy policy. If there was one I wouldn’t believe it. Would you? Why? I’ve seen nothing but privacy invading bullshit since cell phones achieved market saturation. To trust a”policy” about this particular topic you’d have to be an imbecile. I dimly hope the NSA simply ignores SARs because it’s a tiny market but that’s hope and not evidence. I don’t live according to hope; reality is more my style. Thus, we’re screwed.

Saying “we’re screwed” is pretty bold eh? But I’m not going off half cocked. I have proof. There’s solid publicly available evidence that a legitimate billionaire presidential candidate couldn’t assure privacy in his own fucking building. Regardless of whether you voted for the guy or he makes you froth at the mouth, the fact of spying on Trump is a known thing. If Trump wasn’t able to fend off investigatory overreach, you won’t. You haven’t got a chance.

If this is new to you, sit down and take a few minutes to process. Also the sky is blue, politicians lie, and the Easter bunny doesn’t hide eggs in your living room.

Let’s not overreact. Despite what both parties claim, nobody in North America is loading cattle cars bound for concentration camps in 2019. (If you’re worried about that level shit right now… turn off the TV and keep it off because you’re freebasing too much politics.)

Back in the real world, considered privacy risk is tolerable if the benefits outweigh the costs. I like my SpotX and accept limited privacy risks because it may summon help when my life is in danger. If a wolverine bites my face off, esoteric theories won’t mean shit. Getting a helicopter to my location will be my only concern!

Also a SpotX is unquestionably more private than a smartphone.

Smartphones are snitch machines. Whether it’s the device, its software, its OS, the cell tower it communicates with, the cell network, an ISP, a barrage of cookies, or shit I don’t even know… there’s too many links in the smartphone chain to assume you’re safe. It’s a toss up as to who’s doing the spying. Choose your preferred concern: the NSA, the FBI, Snapchat, China, Microsoft, Verizon, Google, the Pope, or Space Illuminati. All that’s certain is that a smartphone generates a constant stream of data and data attracts snoops. Whenever data accumulates; someone’s hoovering it up. Also, read up on Hoover to see how well the US government treated the privacy of citizens in the stone age when phones were bolted to the wall. (See what I did there?)

A SpotX generates vastly less intrusive data. This is because it can’t do much. That’s why I keep saying “it’s not a smartphone”. This is good!

Barring extremely unlikely hardware intrusion, it doesn’t have a microphone. Lacking a microphone, it’s not listening to you. Ask Siri to explain this.

It’s not a camera. That means it’s not taking your picture. Nor is it running facial recognition on your cloud based folder full of images which it also can’t access.

It can’t browse the internet so Zuckerberg can’t use it to crawl up your ass. It won’t help Google isolate your search strings and it doesn’t have a GUI that can push that thing Google insists you want.

(A SpotX apparently can post to but not receive from social media. If use it to post to social media you obviously don’t care about privacy.)

The most compromised a SpotX can be is to gather location information and 140 character text that you deliberately typed into the damn thing. That’s it! Compared to the hive mind of a Millennial’s smartphone it’s practically a brick wall. (I suppose it can compromise messages that come to you from white-listed senders but they already sent those messages from much more easily compromised devices.)

It’s easy to turn a SpotX off. I think (though I don’t know) off is really off. If you’re worried, stuff it in a Faraday bag. That’s the great thing about technology, it’s complex but not magic. Crammed in a Faraday bag and tossed in your pack; a SpotX is inert. Leave it that way 100% of the time if you want. Why not? If the shit hits the fan you can always open the Faraday bag, turn it on, and call for help. See? Going private wasn’t hard at all.

[Note: I prefer Faraday bags from Faraday Defense. That’s my personal preference. Other brands are good and tinfoil really does work too. Yes I’ve tested both tinfoil and Faraday Defense products.

At the risk of TMI, I use Faraday bags even though my life is boring. It’s good practice to learn tools even when you don’t really need ’em. Plus it’s fun to fiddle with radio waves.

Faraday Defense’s tinfoil-ish ziplock type bags are dirt cheap and super reliable. Their other stuff is good too, but the ziplock bags are the cheapest option. Buy a multipack of and you’ll pay $3-$6 a pop; it won’t bankrupt you. A bag sized for a SpotX weighs basically nothing. Even if you’re into ultralight backpacking, a bag is no big deal. The bags I’ve used seem to take a beating. As a bonus, they’ve kept the water off my cell phone in wet conditions. Win! (That’s not their design spec so YMMV.) Obviously, flexible bags aren’t protection against crushing. (One last note, if you’re among muggles and want to keep a low profile, the Faraday Defense wallets and cell phone cases won’t look unusual and pique unwanted interest like the silvery bags do.]

Personally, now that I’ve got (and tested) a SpotX this is my plan:

Whenever I go into the woods my cell phone will be off, stuffed in a Faraday bag, and abandoned in my truck’s glove box. My truck keys got in a ziplock that invariably winds up at the bottom of my pack. The SpotX (after I finish the testing phase) will be off 90% of the time, live at the top of but under the cover of my pack. It’ll be used to “check in” at strategic points like trailheads, my first night at a camp location, and Yeti attacks. After these comments, adding a $5 Faraday bag for total blockage of all signals might happen too. I like the waterproofing and dustproofing effect of the bags anyway.

That said wandering around the outdoors without electronics is OK too. It’s what everyone did for a million years right up to a decade ago (and I did up to a month ago). If you want to melt into the background just do it. Just take care to not do stupid shit and stupid shit (probably) won’t happen.

The outdoors is great for privacy; once you’re out of the greatest tracking device of all (your car), you can do your thing in peace. Ideally, pick remote spots. (To be in solitude is why you’re camping anyway.) If you hang out in prime real estate it’s less private. Duh! Stand at Old Faithful and you might get geotagged by fifty tourists. Then again you’re the dumbass standing in front of a planet-wide recognizable landmark and paying the Park Service to be there.

None of this will help if you’re unreasonably paranoid. Every night you can count satellite flyovers and you’re certainly noted along with the other things that are mapped. This is nothing new. If Gary Powers was flying a U2 over a Russian campsite in 1959 privacy violation was a done deal then too. Such is unlikely to matter, if you’re an unremarkable gray man catching trout and minding his own business the world is not interested in you. Be dull and be happy. You’ll have as much privacy as anyone does and more than most.

Good luck y’all. Have fun and make your own choices. At least we have a theme song:

[This review got long winded; this isn’t the last post. I was pissed at the incomplete information I had while shopping and inadvertently wrote a treatise to counteract what I perceive as a hole in the universe.]

Maybe I’m going overboard on the SpotX but I waited years for technology to create the thing I wanted. I’m glad it finally happened. (Link goes to Amazon, you know the rest.)

I tested the shit of my SpotX and am trying to answer any conceivable real world question:

Is SpotX messaging instant?

Yes and no. The information is transmitted as a packet. You type the message and then the device sends it (up to) 140 characters. It doesn’t send each letter one at a time like a voice telephone. Also, once you’ve typed your message you can tell it to send right now.

Sometimes the message goes through essentially instantly. However, I usually experienced a lag time of 90 seconds to maybe 6 minutes from when I sent it to when a cell phone (either in my pocket or thousands of miles away) received the message. Again, this freaks out cell phone snowflakes and caused some bad reviews. I can’t see why a 6-minute pause to reach from anywhere to anyone is a problem on a SAR beacon.

Why the lag time?

You can set SpotX to check with the satellites every X minutes. It does sending up and receiving down based on the cycles. If you have it checking every few minutes you run down the batteries. If you set it in cycles of an hour it’s fine for any practical purpose but it’ll freak out Millennials. It’s like the lag time reminds them it’s not a cell phone and the “different-ness” causes them angst? I got used to it after a few days and never thought of it again

Of course, you can always hit the button that says “send now” but you’ve got to remember to do it.

I think lag times caused some people to freak out in the reviews but it’s irrelevant for its intended use. If a 3-minute lag in communication wigs you out, you don’t need a communicator so much as you need a therapist. (Ever watch Millennials in an area with no cell reception? Even when they know there’s no reception, they’ll instinctively check their smartphone every 90 seconds to 5 minutes. Like smokers reaching for the next puff. If you get the chance you should watch them from afar and see what I mean. Smart phones have inflicted very strong conditioning on our fellow citizens.)

With whom can you communicate?

Once the signal hits a satellite it’s routed to any e-mail address or phone (text enabled phone only, my old landline ‘aint gonna’ cut it). You can specify multiple recipients to the same message (which is handy).

You can pre-program contacts (which is wise) or groups of contacts (which would be great for a group camping together). You can also add a contact on the fly. Suppose, you just met a guy at the trailhead who’s wrapping up his day while you’re still heading out. He’s going to check the liquor store closing time back in town and that’s mission critical information. Add him to your SpotX right then.

To the recipient, the text looks like it came from a regular cell phone. Depending on your whitelist settings, they may respond with a text and you’ll get it. They may never know you’re communicating via satellite.

Can a SpotX communicate with a SpotX?

Yes but I haven’t tested it. Buy me a second SpotX and I’ll verify.

What can people communicate to you?

The SpotX will happily receive all the texts sent your way. If someone sends a text to your SpotX’s number, the SpotX will receive it (anywhere on earth). This is a big honkin deal! The older generation SPOT and many EPRIB and SAR transponders couldn’t receive anything.

It won’t receive media, voice calls, dick picks, or Pokemon gameplay. You get 140 characters per message; no more. You can specify (whitelist) who is allowed to send to you or allow the whole universe to send to you. I have under half a dozen people who can text me and that’s an excellent feature. I don’t want spam ruining my nature buzz! (Warning, I don’t think you can adjust the whitelist from the device… only from a computer.)

I shouldn’t have to say this but it’s 2019 so I must: if you turn your SpotX off it won’t receive the message… because it’s a communicator, not magic.

Can it receive a lot of messages?

Sure, but if they come fast and furious it’ll take a while. If someone sends you a barrage of e-mails in short succession it can “pile up”. Same goes if the SpotX is off for several hours. Messages pile up somewhere in the network where they’re buffered until they get delivered. Texts come through one at a time when you turn your SpotX on. Sometimes there’s a lag as it picks up one message per query of the satellite network (which happens every X minutes as specified). If you’re in dire straits or just needy you can hit “check messages now” over and over again to get all the news. None of this is bad performance, it’s just the way it works. Repeat after me, it’s not a cell phone.

If you leave a SpotX off for a long time it may tell the original sender “the message didn’t get through”. I think three days is the threshold.

Is it a cell phone?

It’s not a fucking cell phone. If you want a cell phone get a cell phone.

There were a lot of reviews where I think people that bought a SpotX were triggered because it’s not a cell phone. They’re trained to expect a cell phone like experience. It’s not the device’s fault that they had pre-conceived notions (stupid ones I might add).

I bought a two way satellite communicator. I’ve been testing it. Photo below. This 1/2 of the Q&A that covers it and my testing.

I only took one photo of the SpotX, which is not a cell phone. (Click the link and I get a kickback if you buy things, no extra cost to you.)

I tested the shit of my SpotX and am distilling it down to its essence.

Is it hard to carry?

It’s roughly the size of a hockey puck and maybe half the mass of one. A lot of reviews bitch that it’s too big. That’s silly. If you’re a super competitive, every gram matters, bicycle racer I get it. That’s a special case. For normal human beings, fretting that the encumbrance of a hockey puck will bring you to your knees is bullshit. Those dudes need to forget about camping and hit the gym.

Another note. There are smaller devices. I get the lust for miniaturization. However, I like a bit of heft to things that are mission critical. It’s orange, clips on with a carabiner, and it’s less likely to get lost in the bottom of my pack. Smaller might sound cool but be a defect.

How is the reception?

Astounding! I’ve tried it in all sorts of situations and it will send out a message every damn time! I’m really pleased. Sometimes there’s a bit of a lag (more on that later) but it’s very good at its main purpose. It will get the message out!

Wherever it can send it can receive; which is everywhere. There may be a lag or you could turn off the device (which I do) but otherwise you’ll get the message.

Keep in mind this is a device for use outdoors. If you’re bitching about SpotX reception it’s because you’re on the eighth floor of an office building and you don’t know what “not a cell phone” means. Put down the Mountain Dew, lever your ass out of the office chair, and stand outdoors. If your feet are on grass, the SpotX will send and receive.

I’ve tried it in various weather and the atmosphere seems to have no ill effect at all. I’m pretty sure you can send from the bottom of a canyon (possibly with a little bit of a lag).

It sometimes takes several minutes to “wake up”. There’s a few minutes lag time before it finds the signal. I can’t imagine this mattering for its intended purpose.

“Everywhere” is generalizing based on practicality. Somewhere on the internet a buzzkill is whimpering “the signal is sparse in part of the Indian Ocean” or “it’s no good in Antarctica”. Fuck that guy. In any real-world use for an outdoor SAR device it’s excellent.

It’s satellite and not cell. A lifetime of 3G cell (or is it 4G?) gives people weird expectations. It’s not great in a house and only so-so in a moving Dodge. Then again, it’s a goddamned emergency satellite communicator, if you’re in a building what kind of outdoor emergency can you possibly have? An emergency cheese pizza delivery order?

What messages does it send?

The SpotX sends a signal from your location (anywhere on earth) to a constellation of satellites. The signal you send is any text you want (140 characters).

Sending any text you want is a big honkin deal! The older generation SPOT and most EPRIBs couldn’t do that. They could send a hail Mary signal that your ass was on the line: “EMERGENCY AT LOCATION X” but no additional information. Was it a code blue heart attack or a less urgent broken leg? Rattlesnake bite directly to the gonads in the middle of Death Valley or a sunk kayak near a sheltered sandy beach? Sucking chest wound or dead truck? Context matters!

Does it give people your position?

Yes. It’s dirt simple to accompany your text with position information. Or you can hit a button that says “check in” that automatically sends the information (and doesn’t count against your pre-paid texts).

The position information is easy to use and damn accurate. (I’ve tested it.)

What about tracking?

Tracking sounds neat but is pointless in real life. “Tracking” sends your location every X minutes (you specify the interval) to a web portal. I suppose people can sit at a computer/smartphone and watch the dot on the screen that is you move about. Sounds like science fiction!

In practice, you’re not that interesting. Nobody cares where I am every 15 minutes. I don’t even care where I am every 15 minutes. Now I hit “check in” at trail junctures or changes in mode of transport (stopped driving truck and now sailing). Tracking was a cool sounding feature that I don’t use.

Does it post to social media?

Yes but… Gross! I will speak no more of this abominable concept.

Pre-designated messages:

Some of older devices (like the SPOT) could communicate a pre-designated non-emergency code. You’d plan ahead with likely messages and then send one of a small selection. Something like “I AM AT THE TRAILHEAD, BRING THE TRUCK TO GET ME”. Probably the signal was a single digit like 7. Then the database matched 7 to “I AM AT THE TRAILHEAD, BRING THE TRUCK TO GET ME”.

It’s better than nothing but very limiting. What if a unique situation came up? “I’m at the trailhead but just met a hot girl who wants to have sex, don’t show up until tomorrow”. (I jest!) What about “the fish are biting, I’m staying an extra day” or “when you meet me at the trailhead bring a bottle of Tums, I’ve got gas that would kill a gorilla”. Pre-designated messages are inflexible. The SpotX has 20 pre-designated messages and they work flawlessly but sending a real text is simply more informative.

Is a satellite phone:

No. It doesn’t do audio; no voice communication at all. It doesn’t send pictures or anything else.