When Block/Attack Becomes Natural

This post isn’t about me, but I’m going to use an analogy from my life. When I started martial arts I’d be paired up with more experienced students during training. I’d be told “punch like this…” and I would do my very best. My counterpart, well skilled in such things, would block or dodge my punch like they had all the time in the world; it felt like they could make a pot of tea and still catch me. I just couldn’t move fast enough.

It all happened in the fraction of a second between when my fist went into motion and when I found myself staring at their knuckles. And yes, the counterattack was inevitable and always a work of art. I’d see a flash of motion. Before it registered, a fist came to an abrupt halt a quarter inch from my nose, or just lightly touching my ribs… like a butterfly. I could tell what power was there and what it might have done. But it was controlled. Sometimes, if I’d done something incredibly erratic to give them even more time, there would be more elaborate moves. A block that spun me around putting me off balance, a combination of punches, or a big huge showy kick. A superb ballet like motion that planted a heel or toe right where it could surely floor me; should they have wished it.

I was impressed.

Exquisite control on their part. Ridiculous flailing on my part. My relative ineptitude was  obvious. You’d have to be a monkey not to see the difference between us. I’d been deflected, distracted, missed, blocked, shifted and the counterpunch (which never seemed to come from anywhere) surely could have taken my head clear off. Thank goodness this was training! I was safe… but humbled. How did they do it?

I kept at it. Eventually I was on the other side of the learning curve. Some new dude, often as not a hulking fellow who thought he was hot shit, would get handed to me. He’d be disappointed to get paired with the bearded geezer. He’d mutter something about “being careful not to hurt me” and then launch a punch that seemed to slow time. It would take forever. I’d see the muscles, the balance, the eyes. I’d watch it happen as if almost frozen in a peaceful and transparent version of time and motion. I’d have ample time to evaluate my options. I could block or dodge or any of a dozen combinations. I could block immediately or wait until the last minute or anything in between. Almost as an afterthought I’d respond with a counterattack that felt like it came from the center of the earth to a millimeter from a wide open exposed target. I’d stop it just where I wanted. It worked every time.

I could do what I’d seen done. Once you can do it, it’s surprisingly easy.

Most students get it and apply themselves to the lesson. Some don’t. A few just couldn’t accept what had just happened. A decrepit backwoods hick twice their age wasn’t falling down like they’d seen in the movies. It made them doubt just how tough they really were. Most learned, some got frustrated. In the latter case, they’d lose what little control they had and get even sloppier. Regardless, I’d gently brush off the most testosterone laden, rage filled, death punch like it was a mild summer’s breeze. Which at some point, it was.

It’s a skill like any other. It took a lot of work to learn, but it’s not rocket science. Once you learn the proper use of mind and body, you wonder how you ever lacked that knowledge.

Why do I mention this? Because I’ve just seen an example in cyberspace.


Vox Day is a blogger, writer, and publisher. He’s well attuned to the winds of our era and simply loves to tack into them. Ideally suited in capacity and inclination to stick a pin in “the narrative”, he’s rare in our world of groupthink. I’ve always wondered “how long until some dipshit tries to deplatform this guy”.

In a world where Twitter had the power to override the president of the United States, an obscure blogger is toast. But is it really that way? Of course not! It only appears so.

Trump got kicked off Twitter… because he was on Twitter. What kind of flaming dumbass boomer moron puts his nuts in someone else’s vice? If anything could demonstrate failing to adapt, that was it.

I’m a rounding error compared to Vox (and I write far less provocatively), but even I have taken precautions. I moved from wordpress.com to my own hosting nearly five years ago. Everything is backed up on drives and cloud locations I control. I can’t get kicked off Twitter because I’m not on it. I don’t do YouTube. I don’t let Amazon’s kickbacks lull me into a sense of complacency. I don’t fret over Google rankings. (Don’t be evil my ass!) I love PayPal or Patreon donations (hint hint) but I also know they’re ephemeral; a sandbar in the river. A nice place for a picnic but you don’t build your house there. Plus, I’m always ready to just walk away.

Vox, has more grit than me. He has more motivation and a bigger budget. He has the character necessary to make wise preparations; his are wheels within wheels.

I clicked this morning on http://voxday.blogspot.com/. “This blog is under review due to possible Blogger Terms of Service violations and is open to authors only.” Riiiight!

So this is it? Some midwit fuckhead with a degree in under-employment had pulled a Karen. A fool barnacled into a bureaucracy finally pulled the trigger and they probably haven’t yet realized what they’ve done. Yet, his readers all knew it was coming. Like any intelligent person, Vox did not fall prey to normalcy bias.

So, was I defeated in my desire to get my daily dose of wrongthink? Nah! I went to https://gab.com/. There I found Vox Day in a few seconds. That led to his “emergency landing spot”, an alternate version of the main blog (dating back to 2003). It has been prepped and ready for years. There you’ll find his relevant post “Conflict is the air we breathe”. (I’m not linking directly because I don’t know if that’ll help or hurt Vox’s efforts. You can find it on Gab like any other person. It’s not hard.)

Google’s punch was slow, stupid, predictable, and telegraphed. Meaning it was ineffective. Google put it’s full force into stopping an obscure blogger and yet I was reading his post 30 seconds later. So much for the massive power of algorithms. All that power and bluster and bullshit meant nothing. It was the flailing of a fool. Vox’s dodge was instant and effortless. The groundwork had already been laid. As I described in martial arts, so it has played out with Vox’s intellectual pursuits.

A quote from today’s post (read directly from the blog Google blocked):

“There is nothing to fear here. This is a battle we have long anticipated, some more eagerly than others. Sadly, the hound dog who was Alphabet’s former head of legal is gone, so we can’t assume complete incompetence, but that will only make the eventual victory all the more glorious.

Remember, conflict is the air we breathe. It is the water in which we swim.”

I don’t think he’s worried.

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You’re Seeing It: It’s True

After watching… well everything, but especially 2020, it’s easy to wonder what’s going on. Are you surrounded by morons? Is the world run by idiots? That can’t be true, there must be some more palatable explanation!

Nope. They sound like idiots, they think like idiots, they talk like idiots, they reason (or fail to) like idiots… and the reason for this is that they’re just plain idiots. What you’re seeing isn’t deep 4d chess (at least most of it)… a big part of the explanation why the world feels like it’s run by idiots is that they really are idiots.

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Perhaps An End To Radio Silence

A newly installed software “helper” has been nuking comments for two weeks. Lacking the slightest idea what I’m doing I tried to fix it. I got under the hypothetical hood, grabbed a handful of virtual logic, and ripped the offending algorithmic bullshit out through the non-existent tailpipe.

Did it work? I’ve no idea. Please submit a few comments. They don’t have to be thoughtful. I’m going to give it a few hours to test things out. (Actually I have some tractor work that needs doing while the sun is up.) Later I’ll see if comments are in the moderation buffer.

Thanks for being patient.


Update: It’s fixed. Comments are getting to me now. My apologies to everyone who tried to comment and got ignored over the last two weeks; I can’t believe it took that long before I found out. Also, a big thank you to the guy who sent me an email heads up: may the TW you seek find you soon.

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Seems Kinda’ Quiet

It’s been a bit quiet.

I was thinking my motorcycle ruminations suck. An acquired taste perhaps? Or maybe, in general, the time is right to just shut up and call it a day. Was I just pissin’ in the wind?

Then someone sent me an e-mail. “What’s with your comments being blocked?”

Da’ fuck you say?

So, that might explain it. Maybe radio silence was just because my receiver was turned off. One can hope. Now that I think of it; one can always hope.

A guy smarter than me will look into it shortly. Keep commenting and eventually they’ll pop up… maybe.

Thanks.

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A Strange Game

Despite my best efforts, I’ve been exposed to the miasma of stupid. It’s everywhere and it has kept the witch burners and lemmings in a panic for years now. I don’t know why it’s happening now. Maybe the Baby Boomers are intent on burning it all down before they take a dirt nap. Maybe social media hit a certain level of saturation exactly one generation ago. Maybe Marxist ideas come in cycles. Maybe sinister intentional events set in motion generations ago bear fruit right now.

Or, maybe people are just stupid. It does seem that the transition from informed citizen to livestock on the vote farm has accompanied a reduction in adult rational behavior. It’s hard to say. One thing is for sure… we’re all living through a time of deeply irrational, religiously fervent, stupid assholes who can tear down but not build. It’s clear that people  are not thinking rationally. They’re inflicting their madness on people who’d prefer to be left alone. Like earlier cycles of stupid, mad, destructive behavior, sitting quietly on the sidelines is harder and harder to manage.

It’s wearying. It’s not good for the soul. It makes wise, long term planning difficult. Who plants a tree or funds a 401(k) in a society where they’re surrounded by stupid violent people? That’s not a complaint. It’s an observation.

Irrational people are breaking things. They complain that the “other” is a terrorist, or a disease vector, or “bad for the earth”, or racist, or whatever. There’s a purpose to that. They’re working themselves up into evil actions. Once a person believes “others” must be “corrected” (by force if necessary) they can enjoy a righteous frenzy. Make no mistake, they will enjoy it. They seek to unload their hate and bloodlust. They want to experience the ecstasy of hurting “the other”; their society, their fellow citizens, friends, family, and neighbors. Most people would rather destroy than create. It’s the nature of man. It’s only civilization which keeps it at bay. So, they destroy civilization too. When the smoke clears and time passes, if they’re still standing, they’ll try to remember some version of events that makes them blameless, or even heroes. A few will repent, but it will mean nothing to the ashes under their feet.

This isn’t new. This has happened before. There are countless examples of whole societies losing their damn mind, working up to a religious fervor, and running amok. It’s described with words that wouldn’t otherwise be necessary; Karen, genocide, “Jews in the attic”, warlord, woke scold, pogrom, decimate, “witch hunt”, ethnic cleanse, “final solution”, etc… When rational adults cannot maintain civilization, monkeys run rampant where humans once held sway. There’s a righteous joyous release, the panic du jour oppresses many and kills some, economies collapse, learning is paused (and sometimes lost), society grinds to a halt…. and then it’s over. Rebuilding takes decades or longer and while it happens everyone tries to pretend they didn’t play a role in the disaster. They meant well. It was a strange time. You had to be there. They rationalize it whatever way they need.

This is not to give into hopelessness. California is not Rwanda… yet. Nor am I just sitting there waiting for the final curtain. I’m as squared away as a guy can be. I assume you are too.

I also note that this is a planet wide phenomenon and America, as wrecked as it has become, is not on the vanguard. Still, I always thought I’d have options and new geography isn’t looking good. I formerly assumed, in the unlikely event everyone lost their damn minds during my lifetime, I’d just slink off to a unimportant corner; but I see that’s not the case. It’s everywhere; France, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Italy, you name it. There is no safe harbor, only your ship’s ability to ride it out and a captain’s ability to steer.

Stay out of crowds and pay attention. This shit ‘aint over yet. Good luck. I’m rooting for you. As for myself, I’m still trying to stay as far away from the bullshit as humanly possible.


Off The Cuff: The Only Way To Win Is Not To Play The Game ...

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Motorcycle Exploration 2021: Part 7: Epilogue

You want the truth?!? Of course you want the truth! You can handle the truth! You’re not whiny little bitches on Facebook, you’re actual goddamn adults!

So was it true? Was my fuel situation as bad as I thought? In a word “nope”. The embarrassing truth is that I had incorrect assumptions. They led me to be more uneasy than reality merited.

(What analogies can one make between my self inflicted motorcycle fuel worries and events of 2020? Yikes! Then again I didn’t just stand there and shit myself. I took action, adapted, learned, and am right now “upping my game”. Quite the opposite of modern society. A fully media-influenced human vote farm unit would be found on the same forest trail, 15 months from now, weeping at the horror of possible/theoretical/statistically modeled impending problems. “There’s only a 99.95% chance I can drive out of this mess… rather than risk it, I’ll quit living and hope for someone else to order me around for my own good.”)

I’m drifting off topic… back to motorcycle stories: I’m happy to report I hadn’t skated very far at all on the thin ice of bad choices.

The proof is in the math. I topped off my motorcycle after that ride. From that, I calculated my consumption at 76 MPG. (Clearly the earlier 68 MPG experience comes from flogging the bike at road speeds.) Also the internet told me that my TW has a 1.8 gallon tank (not the 1.4 I thought). That means a real world experienced range of 122 miles when wound up on pavement and 136 miles when sauntering through the forest. (I much prefer sauntering!)

I’m not going to bother with the gunk in my MSR bottle. Life is too short to deliberately experience bad gas. I’ll use that for cleaning auto parts and chainsaw chains.

Finally, y’all gave me a hand, even if you don’t know it yet! I appreciate every donation on Patreon or PayPal (or the kickback I get if you buy stuff from my Amazon links). It’s a trickle of income that mostly goes to boring crap like internet hosting fees… but a sliver is left over. I carefully hoard it for when I need to “encourage adventures”. By my logic, doing stupid shit is where fun stories come from, so it’s good to keep the “stupid shit” machine properly serviced. (Ugh, what a terrible metaphor! Oh well, I’m in a rush and it’ll have to do.)

I decided to tap that saved money. I ordered up parts for an excellent off-road fuel solution. I have a sexy new RotoPax arrangement coming in the mail. The next time I’m out there I should be have a full gallon of spare gas AND a full gallon of potable water. I’ll post photos when it’s installed; ideally very soon.

There are drawbacks to carrying that much weight but it’ll extend my range by 70+ miles and (if things go very bad) make me pretty dehydration resistant for up to 2 days. (Walking sucks and I doubt I’ll ever have to do it, but if you “play” far beyond pavement, you’d better have the resources to manage a “self rescue”.)

I doubt I’ll be worrying about fuel range again unless I start doing multi-day outings… which is not in my plans right now. (I love sleeping in the cot and you can’t carry something like that on a motorcycle. There are tempting new developments in the camping hammock arena. A hammock would fit on the bike too. But I have doubts that a hammock would work for me. Until I know more, I’m too cheap to buy a hammock-tent.)

Thanks to all of you who’ve tossed me a copper. You kindly keep the Curmudgeon’s motorcycle fueled!


Update: There’s a delay because of course there is. It’s 2021 and I forget we’re far beyond the “before times” of say… 2019. Supply chains strain and decay inhabits commerce. Components were shipped from multiple suppliers via UPS and USPS. (Guess which of the two is still in transit.) No photos until I get the materials. Sorry.

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Motorcycle Exploration 2021: Part 6: Fuel Worries

I rolled out going forward; heading toward wherever Beer Faeries come from. The trail was pretty rough but nothing a proper UTV or my little dirtbike couldn’t handle. Where the heck had they come from? Anywhere I supposed. They’d come 85 miles and that’s a very long way on backwoods trails.

I don’t have a fat UTV bench seat, two compatriots, and a nice squishy suspension. I was getting tired. By the time I emerged from the swamp trail I was at least 40 miles from my tent and probably more.

There’s a thing about distances. They’re relative. Forty miles is nothing if you’re flying down the interstate in a Subaru. It’s a middling piece on a cushy UTV. It’s a long way for a novice rider / old guy on a dirt bike. It’s two days walk in this temperature if the bike craps out on a solo rider. A guy like me can do a two day hike… I’ve done it before. But it sucks. I was already far enough out for an inexperienced suburbanite to get himself killed. (And yes, that does happen in this area from time to time. Not every year but every so often.)

It was late afternoon and I started evaluating my options. Should I go back the way I came or try a lop that might be easier (and therefore more fuel efficient) riding?

Going back the swamp trail was do-able but I prefer loops to backtracking. The sun was still high in the sky. I had food and water and two magic beers. How far does a little TW go on a tank? Also, how much energy did I have left? Enough to make me want to go forward instead of back.

I did some math. The TW has a 1.4 gallon tank. (I later researched and it’s really 1.8 gallons which I wished I’d known that day!) I’ve only gone on reserve once and that was at 68 miles. That day I was flogging the bike on a paved road at speeds the engine doesn’t like. I’d rolled about 5 miles on reserve to a gas station and the fill up had been a little over a gallon. So, being cautious, figure 68 MPG from my actual experience times 1.4 gallons in the tank. That’s about… carry the one, brush a bug out of my face, recalculating… 95 miles or so. That’s a conservative estimate, but then again walking is hard.

I was showing 50-ish miles on my odometer for this particular trip and that’s already more than half-ish of my conservative 95 miles. Glance at sun… I’m still going in the wrong direction. Shit!

So technically, I was potentially screwed. Though, probably not. This is a motorcycle and not a helicopter. I also guessed 98 mile range on a TW was a bit low. Did I do the math wrong or something? I’d been sputtering along slow and easy, surely I had more range than a hundred clicks?

Ace up the sleeve. I’ve got an MSR bottle stashed in my gear. It was either a pint or a quart but whatever it was would easily get me home. Nicely played Curmudgeon.

I rolled forward with confidence. I went through some nice forest, each mile putting me further from “home base” but embracing the chance to see more cool shit. I was hoping to catch a bear sighting… though any bear with half a brain wouldn’t be roaming in this sun. I wound up following some arrow straight ditches for a while and an hour later I was fully committed to “the loop”. There was no going back now.

Clever me to have stashed that MSR bottle! It has been sitting there, unused, since shortly after I bought the bike. Meant for just such a situation. I’m so… smart?

Wait a minute here! I’d stashed modern EPA witches brew gasoline last year? I knew I hadn’t added Sta-Bil. It was probably bad gas by now. Dang!

Still riding, I pondered the best course of action. The carbureted TW 200 would probably run on darned near anything that bears a resemblance to gas. It’s not a wimpy fuel injector system that would puke on the first sigh of trouble. Still, bad gas ‘aint good gas and walking sucks. Should I dump the crap from the MSR bottle into the tank now, hoping to dilute whatever crap I’d be adding? Or should I roll on with my perfectly running machine as long as I could. I really had no idea how far to camp. I might get there just fine. The distance might be shorter than I was guessing miles. I might have a better range than my conservative calculations. The “bad gas” might be good. Why test it before it’s needed? I kept rolling

I passed a lovely field. I just had to check it out. A bit behind the field I saw an RV, the only regular sized (non-ATV) vehicle I’d seen all day. Perhaps I could buy a pint of gas from some dude’s generator?

The guy I met was super nice. I didn’t bring up the gas situation and just talked about the topic du jour. “Hot enough for ya?” This guy and his RV had been there a million times. He was a fount of knowledge. He told me I was much closer to my campsite than I expected. This meant fuel was not an issue. Sweet!

I drank a half liter of water, listened to all the local lore I could absorb, and rolled out. True to his prediction, I wound up at camp just before sunset with plenty of fuel left. Nice!

It was a mellow happy (hot!) adventure. I hope y’all enjoyed coming along for the ride.

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Motorcycle Exploration 2021: Part 5.1

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Motorcycle Exploration 2021: Part 5: The Beer Faeries Rescue Me

I was in an ugly chunk of terrain and mightily overheated. I was rolling down an endless trail, counting out my 10 minutes, planning to stop at the first good shade or when my time ran up… at which time I’d guzzle water like my life depended on it.

I spied headlights ahead. Someone was driving a UTV down the narrow trail toward me. There was no way we could pass and the UTV would flounder in the swamp if pushed too far. So, I found an opening, rolled my bike into crotch deep weeds but kept the wheels on solid ground, and waited. I checked that my muffler wasn’t going to set any brush on fire but the muffler was well shielded. Silly me! I was frying like bacon but the little bike was in normal operating specs. Conditions beating me to death were “well within the bell curve” for my brick shithouse of a bike!

I was weary and sighed the frustrated and sweaty sigh of a man who’s had too much fun. My sense of adventure faded and I wished I was home and in air conditioning.

Then everything changed!

The UTV rolled up with three laughing women jammed side by side in the bench seat. They were joyously joking and smiling like a combination women’s book club and bar crawl had first gone mobile and then went ridiculously remote. They sure were having fun! If anyone might roll up in the middle of the forest to give Paul Bunyan himself a wedgie it was these three. They stopped next to me and said the most beautiful words in the English language.

“Want a beer?”

I almost fell off my still idling bike!

“Yes! Yes I do want a beer!”

I had my helmet off in a flash and practically fell over reaching for the can.

I had met what I call the “Beer Faeries”. It was a miracle and may God bless ‘em! This hard partying trio of ladies had left civilization some 85 miles ago (I was only half that far from my campsite). They were having all the fun a Polaris and two coolers can provide. They had matching shirts with some sort of dirty joke printed on them. They had spare fuel and all the gear they needed but without the uptight planning I’d been doing. They apparently do this sort of shit all the time.

I had to blink twice to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. Here I was, roasting to death in literally in the exact definition of “middle of nowhere”… yet some woman was handing me an ice cold beer!

It was a shit brand of canned swill and I didn’t care. It was the best damned beer I’ve ever had!

They were telling me how last week they’d gotten lost and came home at 3:00 am… which was fine with them because that’s why they make headlights. I only heard half of it. I chugged the beer like an under-aged loser and wiped the can’s condensation on my forehead. I was instantly refreshed.

One of them was taking a piss on the other side of the UTV and I tried hard not to notice… though honestly that’s all me and had nothing to do with her. She might have peed on my boot just for fun.

The driver was standing there in flip flops which looked so much cooler than my sweltering motorcycle safety gear. The third one was lighting a smoke and insisted on pressing two more cans into my hands. I stowed them in my bike’s cooler… they were now the most precious things I owned.

They piled in their rig, stomped the gas, and they were gone. Like a switch being flipped, everything went pure nature again. The party on wheels had left and I was once again hearing only the sound of deerflies.

Did that really happen? I crushed the can and stowed it. Yep, it happened.

Life is grand!

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Motorcycle Exploration 2021: Part 4: Too Damn Hot

Back on my motorcycle I quickly left the ATV area behind. I was now in a mix of swamp and working forest. Working forest is where tree harvest is a non-ironic genuine industrial activity. Most of the roads were in good condition though some ended at a logging landing. There were intermittent areas where roads were long neglected (passable but sketchy) or non-existent. In between there were occasional water infrastructure objects, ditches and irrigation gates and whatnot. Many of these would be a stone cold bitch to cross if you weren’t on a road or trail (or snowmobile). Further in I expected to find abandoned homesteads. Sure enough they appeared on cue. Mostly gone to brush a century ago and from there to forest again. How many Americans… let me rephrase that, how many north Americans or Europeans have seen places that once supported people and are now literally uninhabited. How different and more humble we would all be if we’d all seen such places. Confidence that “the arrow of history points to conclusion X” fades when you roll past an abandoned cemetary. A community was once there. People were born, grew up, and died in what was once a village, and then a ghost town, and is now nowhere. It’s a curiosity to ride by on a dirt bike and I thought of Ozymandias and folks freaking out in their efforts to slice 2021’s pie to their liking. Those old graves are a point of view most people haven’t had the privilege to experience.

Interspersed with all this were tall healthy tree plantations; more industrial forest. Works of the hand of man, good places to hunt big game. There were equally large patches of mature native generated forest. Just as industrial but not planted in rows and also just as pretty. There were also occasional burned areas; because fire is part of life.

One burned area was a bit larger than most and I crossed it slowly, getting lost in a maze of logging trails from the salvage cut. This is where the heat got to me once again. The air was dead calm and the burn had no canopy. No tree canopy meant no shade. I cooked out as little Honey Badger and I picked our way through the area. On the other side, I took a random turn and found myself on a long straightaway that went directly through a more or less impassible swamp. Weeds brushed me from all sides, no doubt giving my Peremethrin treated jeans a solid test.

I was panting and my mouth was dry. Not a good sign! At the next shaded spot I’d drink some water. I was feeling a little ill and didn’t relish the thought of stopping. When you’re thirsty but you’re not interested in water… you’re dehydrated. Yet, I was in no mood to stop in this swampy mess. I’d hold out for a shaded tree plantation but no more than 10 minutes. (I promised myself I’d stop in 10 minutes even if I was on a hornet’s nest. You need to put the logical brain in charge of the illogical during extreme conditions. Plus, I was alone. A certain extra caution behooves the solo adventurer.)

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