When A Big Deal Is Diddly Squat

Posted on April 11, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Maggies Farm is always amusing and informative.  That’s where I found this:

It has been said before; “when something can’t go on forever…it won’t”.  This can’t go on forever.  Baby Boomers are retiring and American government spending has been unhinged for decades.  Cuts are not coming; they are here.  They may be disguised as inflation, shortages, “unexpected” emergencies, or otherwise but they’re here.

Going to the wire to cut 38 billion on a budget like ours means both parties are willfully irresponsible.  They’ll be spectators as our auto-pilot bureaucracy irretrievable grinds into unalterable fiscal limits.  It’ll be a good show.

The good news is, it could be worse.  We’re not Zimbabwe yet.  Enjoy it while you can.

Posted in One Thousand Words | Leave a comment

An Article Which Brings To Mind A Dead Horse

Posted on April 10, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

A blog called Taxing Tennessee pointed me to this map from the Tax Foundation.  Among other things, it shows the 10 worst and ten best states (in terms of state government’s debt).  It is a per-capita debt, meaning that it represents big population states and little population states equally.

I clicked over to wikipedia to find this map from the 2008 election.  We’ve all seen it before but I’ll post it again for purposes of symmetry.

Obama carried 28 out of 50 states: 56% of them.  In any random list of states you’d expect Obama to carry 56% of the list.

Of the fiscally worst states; Obama carried 90% of them.  (Alaska being the only state preventing a full sweep.)

Of the fiscally best states; Obama carried 20% of them. (Minnesota and Nevada being the only states preventing a full “anit-sweep”.)

I could go nuts and conclude all sorts of things but I’ll just phrase two factual statements.  The more indebted a citizen’s State Government the more likely that citizen is to have voted for Obama to lead the Federal Government.  The more solvent a citizen’s State government the more likely that citizen is to have voted against Obama to lead the Federal Government.  Those are facts which cannot be debated.

Now I’ll skate on thinner ice which is well supported but not utterly beyond discussion.  “The evidence suggests that Citizens want their Federal Government just as indebted or solvent as their personal State’s Government.”  I’m not going very far when I say that but I have indeed inferred causality from correlation.  I’ll accept that it’s not an ironclad tautology.

Now I’ll get on my soapbox and add another statement which is almost a tautology. “As an American Citizen I can move from one state to another in search of fiscally responsible State Governance.  (I have done so.)  To move from one nation to another in search of fiscally responsible National Governance is vastly harder for any citizen.”

Here is another image I found on wikipedia.  I’m not going to beat a dead horse further.  I just had to put up the first two maps because they were so well matched.  The chart?  Well I couldn’t help myself.


 

Posted in For Your Education | Leave a comment

Assembly Of True Facts

Posted on April 9, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon
  1. The carpenter we hired just hitched his truck to the 25 foot trailer he’d left in our driveway for several weeks…and left with most of our money.
  2. There is a toilet in my backyard.
  3. I am alone in the house…and drinking.
  4. I intend on touching off a big fire shortly.

Holy crap? Nah; it’s just another day. The carpenter did a good job and earned his pay, the backyard toilet is refuse from the bathroom remodel (which is steadily approaching completion), the wine is excellent, and I’ve got a burn permit to dispose of a pile of gnarly dead wood accumulated in seasons when burning was ill advised.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Phenology Update

Posted on April 8, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

phe·nol·o·gy

noun /fiˈnäləjē/

1.The study of cyclic and seasonal natural phenomena, esp. in relation to climate and plant and animal life

Winter doesn’t last forever.  But when is it gone?  I ignore the Global Warming Koolaide drinkers and take my cues from locally observable phenomena.

Indications of spring:

  • There were birds chirping outside my window this morning.  (Is there any sound sweeter?)
  • Everyone south of us is talking about their flowers and gardens.  (Lucky bastards.)
  • I’m starting to think a Bass Boat would be a really cool thing to own.  I now think my monster snowblower is an excessive expense I really didn’t need.  (Both are untrue but the mind wanders in spring.)
  • I’ve seen a few hearty souls out on motorcycles.
  • I’m almost out of firewood.
  • I don’t care that I’m almost out of firewood.
  • I let the fire go out a couple weeks ago.  The pipes have not frozen.
  • The maple syrup flow is going strong.  (I don’t have any sugar maple.  Damn!)

Indications the fat lady hasn’t yet sang:

  • There were only a few birds singing this morning.  (No robins yet!)  In a few weeks it’ll sound like an avian keg party.  (I really love hearing songbirds!)
  • No trucks have sunk.  This is worrisome.  The ice looks so thin that I can’t imagine anyone stupid enough to drive anything of value upon it.  Yet if no redneck goes out and sinks his truck…summer may never come!
  • In the Midwest, newspapers have not published one of their two annual farm articles.  The main one explains that it is too wet so farmers can’t get out and plow the fields.  Thus they need “emergency” assistance.  The alternative article is that it’s too dry so farmer’s crops won’t have enough moisture to grow well.  Thus they need “emergency” assistance.  One of those two articles must be published before it’s summer.
  • In the Southwest, newspapers have not published one of their two annual fire articles.  The main one explains that the snowpack is too small, which will lead to a an “unusually severe” wildfire season.   The alternative article explains that there’s a deep snowpack which will encourage tremendous vegetative growth which will build up and lead to an “unusually severe” wildfire season.  Either article concludes with the need for “emergency” funding to prepare for the newfound discovery that trees and brush, when dry, are flammable.
  • I haven’t fired up my motorcycle yet.
  • The chickens are scratching at frozen soil and look mighty pissed off that no worms are coming up.
  • The dandelions and tulips aren’t back.

There you have it.  I’m as accurate as the Farmers Almanac and probably as archaic.

Posted in Phenology | Leave a comment

I Pine For A “New” Osborne

Posted on April 5, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Mostly Cajun had a post about the 30th anniversary of the Osborne. The Osborne was a clunky dog made with technology that just wasn’t ready. Sadly, it’s unique design has was relegated to the scrapheap of rejected ideas. I never had one. I think the Osborne’s design was pretty cool and we should rethink it’s rejection.

Behold...the anthises of a modern iDevice. Bask in it's chunky heft!

Seeing the Osborne on Mostly Cajun accidentally re-ignited a complaint I keep simmering on my back burner. “Portables” are gone forever and laptops have emphasized small over utilitarian far too long.

W.T.F.?

I’d love a modern laptop’s components dumped into the archaic Osborne’s design. Forget about delicate laptops meant for ironic twittering at Starbucks. I want a beefy utilitarian device for hammering out work on my terms. Something I can use mercilessly.

I especially want everything in one piece. A monoputer? Engineers reduce laptop size by externalizing parts. Why? I have to carry all that crap anyway. Why should a power cord have a transformer? In a larger device you could stick the power supply back inside where it belongs. Why should I carry a mouse separately (or suffer with a touchpad)? If a truck can have a glove box so can a portable computer. A mouse should nest inside a portable when traveling. I don’t think a laptop should need a protective case either. Cases are overpriced pillows required for fragile little toys that need coddling. Who decreed that we should stuff laptops in a protective sleeve and then jam the sleeve in a briefcase plus a wad of cables wrapped around a mouse? I want my laptop to be the briefcase.

Modern laptops (cool as they are) are constructed like puny little toys; the final frontier of electronic metrosexual consumerism. Don’t drop it. Don’t toss it in the car’s back seat. Don’t leave it in the cold. Don’t let your kid play with it. Don’t spill coffee on it. Not everyone likes carrying around a Fabrege egg. Who trained us to accept such things?

Because I like hurling vindictive and arbitrary barbs at Steve Jobs I blame him and his pet media. Apple couldn’t make something better so they made it smaller. (And admittedly cooler looking.) Everyone followed suit. It’s been going on for years. The press will always go apeshit for the newest trinket because it’s a half ounce lighter than the last. Why? Do I really live in a populace that can’t lift a six pound laptop? Perhaps some folks really do need need a 4 ounce netbook.  (Presumably Woody Allen, small children, and undercover spies?) I don’t. Anything smaller than a case of beer is fine with me. In fact a 24 pack is the perfect size!

Two guys standing around discussing politics...while the perfect model for a laptop is right under their nose and they're totally not seeing the brilliance!

I’d like a laptop re-imagined as a “portable”; crude, cheap, repairable, and strong. Within reason don’t worry about size. A “new” Osborn could be all that and a bag of chips. Picture a cheap laptop’s guts bolted into an Osborne style case. There would be plenty of extra space. What would you put in that delicious expanse? Storage? A printer? A battery that lasts weeks? A thermos? A self retracting power cable? A pistol case? A cigarette lighter power adapter? A built in deer cam? A keyed lock to keep the case closed. Straps to tie it to your motorcycle/kayak/mule/hood? An AM/FM radio (CB? HAM?)? A telescoping directional highly selective wifi antenna? A projector? Decent speakers? Imagine the possibilities!

Notice that I didn’t mentioned any technology that is expensive or rare? All that’s lacking is imagination. Go ahead and imagine a different world. If John Lennon pictured universal utopia why can’t I imagine a waterproof portable with an integrated thermos and a monster battery. One that’s so tough I can check it when flying. (Let the apes in the baggage department tag it and toss it in a pile of suitcases while I travel light!) Yes indeed…some things can be built and aren’t only because the blinders are on.

(Incidentally, I’m aware of “hardened” laptops. They sound good but I’ve used them and they suck. They still make concessions to size over utility. Dust seals and a fiddly keyboard wrapped around the same old shit at twice the price didn’t float my boat.)

So there you have it; my Curmudgeonly plea for a world that has both “portables” and “laptops”? Can’t we all just get along? It’s my fault, I was never properly trained as a consumer. I don’t care if the newest iDevice is 1/16th inch thinner but I’d flip for an integrated retractable power cable. These things happen when you’re hopelessly uncool and don’t watch enough TV.

A.C.

P.S. Photo linked to Denver Post Blog here.  I think it’s important for society that policiticans be seen drinking beer.

Posted in Brilliance and Simplicity, Technology of Indignity | Leave a comment

Blogroll Update

Posted on April 4, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Random Acts Of Patriotism linked to my article about the Japanese Reactor and explained it all as a function of monkey poo.  Actually it was his second poo posting in his poo series which pretty much covers the situation.  Very wise indeed.

Random Acts of Patriotism is now on my blogroll.

Posted in Blogroll | Leave a comment

Nutella And Tile

Posted on April 2, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

We’re remodeling.  I’ve been laying Gray VersaBond under Hardibacker.  In layman’s English that means I’m gooping some crap on the plywood subfloor that glues the cement floor underlayment down…so eventually I can add more goop and put on tile and then grout tomorrow.  Screws are involved too.  I’m not sure why but it’s fun slamming those little bastards in.  As for the cement, not so much fun.

Maybe that’s not clearly communicating what’s going on?  How about this: I’m experiencing massive monetary blood loss while putting layer after layer of obscure voodoo materials on what I hope will someday be a bathroom floor.

If you ever want to remodel a bathroom, do yourself a favor and build an outhouse.  It’s less complex and nobody has ever gone broke crapping in a hole!

For reasons which nobody seems to be able to explain, VersaBond (mortar?) is made in any of several colors.  I arbitrarily bought gray.  It turns out to be a pleasant chocolate color.  None of which is relevant on a subfloor.

After glopping this crap all over the place I’ve decided it has the precise appearance and texture as Nutella.  I’m totally dying for some toast and a jar of the stuff.

Could this be a tasty building material. I hypothesize...you decide.

Posted in Libertarian Outpost | Leave a comment

Jobs Are Not Created

Posted on March 30, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

I’m disturbed when I hear anyone talk about “creating jobs”.  It’s not just that I doubt their sincerity (though I usually do).  It’s that it’s a dismissive attitude insulting to those of us who honestly presume that we’re paid because our work is worth our salary.

Nobody wants to be a widget hired as a form of welfare…at least not for long.  In theory a job exists because something has to be done and for no other reason.

I don’t take pride in having a job. I take pride in getting things done.  You can’t get that from a job that was invented to keep you entertained.  Adults are not children to be given a coloring book and set in a corner.  We do things because they need to be done.  We get paid because we earned it.

If, for some reason, my current job no longer needed doing…I’d be hunting for something that needed doing and figuring out how to get paid for it.  There are always things that need doing.  Sometimes they’re awesome and more often they’re mundane.  Often the pay isn’t what you’d like.  But there definitely is stuff that needs to be done.

That’s the magic of taking pride in getting something done; it’s without pretension.  If my services designing integrated circuits are no longer needed, perhaps someone has shit that needs shoveling?  Would you like an entrepreneur to deliver it as compost to your tomato patch?  I’d derive pride from a properly mucked out horse stall just as I’m pleased with a finely tuned algorithm.  Because it had to be done and I did it as well as possible.   I wouldn’t expect a job to be invented to keep me off the streets any more than I’d expect free cake on Wednesdays.

In recent years this has sounded so out of touch that even my dog thinks I’m archaic.  But I believe it.

Then I read this on Maggie’s Farm.

People with true grit create jobs, they don’t look for jobs.

Precisely!

Posted in Harangue-a-bang-bang!, Libertarian Outpost | Leave a comment

Go Mongolia!

Posted on March 27, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

From Stephen Bodio’s Querencia via On A Wing And A Whim comes this:

That is correct!  A fur clad falconer on a horse is all that and a bag of chips!  Stephen Bodio is into falconry and On A Wing And A Whim is into airplanes.  So much for my tractors and homestead chickens.  There is no keeping up with the Joneses in that crowd.

I also posted because it looks (to my uninformed eyes) like authentic Mongolian garb and I’ve always been interested in going there.  Ideally for the purpose of riding across the Gobi on a motorcycle. Why? Because I like motorcycles more than horses and I’d rather die than go to Euro-Disney.  I can’t imagine anything more fun than wandering the harshest of environments.  (Some say this is why my wife supervises me carefully when planning family vacations.)

I’m not the only one.  Apparently Mongolia/Motorcycle foolishness has struck more than one person.

This is EXACTLY how I'd like to travel!

Note: The motorcycle image is from The Timeless Ride. Hubert, the guy from that site has been everywhere and done it with a Ural Motorcycle. Anyone who appreciates going to the middle of nowhere with a sidecar should click for endless inspiration.

For the gearheads among us; Urals are a vehicular Rorschach test.  A person will either conclude they’re useless Russian crap or the greatest thing ever.  I once test drove a used Ural but couldn’t afford it.  Giving the keys back nearly killed me.  Now you know my opinion of Urals.

Posted in One Thousand Words | Leave a comment

The Kill O Zap Has Been Invented!

Posted on March 24, 2011 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

“The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. ‘Make it evil,’ he’d been told. ‘Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with.'”

I’ve always wanted one.  And now it’s here:

Finally! A pistol so ugly that your opponent will shoot themselves at the sight of it.

I totally want one!

Posted in For Your Education | Leave a comment