Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels!
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Category Archives: Lesbian Squirrels
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 19: Birth of a Supervillain
Billy sipped his beer and waited for the chaos to ebb. This was a time for patience; the weirder shit got, the shorter it would last. Billy made a quick mental census. The two extreme greeters Billy had shot had … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 18: One Less Ball For Mankind
Terry, completely unaware of Mary’s fate, was wreaking havoc on the cockpit. Flying from control to control, flipping switches at random, obscuring the pilot’s view of gauges, and eventually finding an opening in the co-pilot’s pantleg at the boot cuff. … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 17: 400’ Flying Knife Attack
Mary and Terry zoomed up the helicopter’s cable at the speed of squirrel. At the top Mary launched herself at the face of the winch operator. The operator had been handling tear gas cartridges and had a clear face shield … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 16: Goose Huntin’ With Chigger
Across the street, Chigger Johnson was thrashing through the brush. He had an illegal goose blind nestled between the highway and the train tracks in a six-acre strip of largely ignored brush. Chigger felt the easiest way to facilitate a … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 15: Bart Meets A Non-Racist
The afterglow of the world’s first Ursus Americana turbo wedgie didn’t last long. With immense ferocity, an explosion tore part of the roof from the building. Everyone scattered; except Billy. He stepped back two paces, planted his feet carefully, and … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 14: Fractional Reserve K-cups
Back at the convenience store Billy and Doogie high-fived. They had just witnessed history’s first interspecies turbo wedgie. It was amazing! Bart spit out the stretched remains of a pair of Joe Boxer underwear and grinned. His experiment with human-based … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 13: You Should Have Studied STEM
The Analyst briefed the Extreme Greeters while their chopper rocketed toward the scene. Listening thought their helmet mounted headsets, each greeter did their level best to listen; but it was no use. “So the scan of more K-cup sales than … Continue reading
Lesbian Squirrels Update: INCOMING!
Dr. Mingo and my dog have complained, I’ve been compared to the Orange Menace, and a tip was withheld! This cannot stand. More squirrels will ensue shortly. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, pick … Continue reading
Posted in Lesbian Squirrels, Sagas
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Lesbian Activist Squirrel Update: I’m Apparently The Worst Marketer Ever
“You are the worst marketer ever! You’re like the guys that invented New Coke mixed with whomever cancelled Firefly.” Ouch. That hurt. The commanding voice was hard to ignore. It was my friend, very occasional blog author, and frequent (though … Continue reading
Posted in Lesbian Squirrels, Miscellaneous Squirrels, Sagas
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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 12: These Are Not The K-cups You Are Looking For
Twitch clutched Billy’s box of K-cups like a drowning man might grasp a life preserver. His eyes were wide and he was stringing together irrelevant movie quotes. Billy was maneuvering slowly and confidently; a prizefighter preparing for a one punch … Continue reading