America (and all nations on earth from the beginning of time) add and subtract territory. They also change degrees of administration. Alaska and Hawaii weren’t states until 1959. Puerto Rico doesn’t seem to want to be a state (but it does like to bitch). Washington DC is… well that’s a whole post of its own.
Territory acquisition and release doesn’t have to make sense. As a wee lad sometime during the Carter administration I found myself asking a elementary school teacher; “Why on earth are we giving away the Panama Canal Zone?” My teacher muttered something like: “It’s a complex situation.” I was like “No it’s not. If we own it, why would we give it away for nothing?” My teacher looked at me like I was an evil capitalist demon. (You think teachers being socialist bots is a new thing?) “Are they trading us an island or something?” I asked. My teacher’s answer: “Shut up kid.”
Hmm… my teachers said “shut up” a lot.
We own Guam. Representative Hank Johnson thought Guam might capsize.
A man can be so stupid to think an ISLAND might CAPSIZE and still win elections. Here’s a thought for you to mull over, Hank Johnson is “the Ranking Member of the Subcommittee on Courts, Intellectual Property, Artificial Intelligence, and the Internet”. THE GUY THAT THINKS ISLANDS CAN CAPSIZE IS SUPPOSEDLY MANAGING ARTIFICAL INTELLIGENCE! You’re welcome.
Anyway, territories moved and shifted until something happened in people’s minds. They’ve solidified the false idea that whatever is now must be always. I suspect Boomers locked down politics forever. Nothing can change once Elvis died (1977). We must live in concrete now and forever. (There are other theories.) All I know is that America could add States in 1959. It could give away territory in 1977. But God forbid anything change now.
Into that bear trap wandered God’s own tornado of activity… Trump. Dude wants Greenland. I don’t know why. I don’t even care why. I just love the idea of something new.
Trump offered to buy Greenland. Why not? Everyone is too scared to do a fucking thing anymore but Trump at least broached the idea and whipped out a checkbook. Half of America has TDS and shrieked “America can never add or lose territory in the modern world because change is death!” Another part of America said; “Greenland? All it’s got is glaciers, who gives a shit?” A tiny fraction said “Greenland is important for military reasons of…” and loaded up PowerPoint presentations about logistics, submarines, and whatever other boring reason why it really matters; causing the rest of us to flee.
It’s an interesting thing to observe. For the first time in my life, someone in Europe didn’t want American money. Denmark said “It’s an affront to our dignity! We will never give up a square inch of our Kingdom! We love our frozen land that perpetually costs money to support! It’s part of our cultural heritage of something or other we can’t quite explain now but it’s fucking important.” What else could Denmark do? They’re in the EU. It’s a club that does nothing but bitch about the US (and especially Trump). All they want from us is money and military support… for which they’ll shit on us.
Which brings me to the first half of my silly little opinion. I like adaptability and we need to practice it or lose it. So far we’ve lost it. A world where nothing changes allows pressure build up until shit gets unsustainable. Look around; you’re surrounded by shit that’s been unresolved for decades. It’s unstable and y’all can feel the tension in the air. Any change, big or little, is probably a good thing. Planting a flag on a frozen nowhere is probably the easiest way to get the ball rolling.
If Greenland can be acquired, why not? Let’s trade for it. Maybe Denmark would like Rhode Island? Maybe they’d like a big pile of money. Maybe they’d like a good deal on something America is sick of… would they like Hollywood? Denmark, like the ossified Americans, have done nothing but bitch… which is pretty standard for Europe in general. Recently they shouted about kicking us out of NATO… which is awesome! Your terms are acceptable! If Trump gets Greenland and simultaneously gets us out of NATO he’d be a hero. That would merit a gold plated statue of his clanging balls hung from the Washington Monument.
Mostly, it would be good for America to demonstrate it can initiate change. I feel like we’re locked into a multi-generational stalemate. It doesn’t have to be that way. What Americans could do in 1959 or 1977 we’re too fucking pathetic to do now. I don’t like that. Think about how everyone said Brexit would kill the entire hemisphere but it happened in 2020. Or think about how East and West Germany reunified in 1990.
Then comes the second part of my silly little opinion, I hope we buy Greenland so I can go play there. Iceland has all sorts of awesome 4×4 roads but I can’t afford to go there. The place has EU prices and EU bullshit and I’ll never afford it. Maybe Greenland can be a shitty low rent place to go have a redneck hootnanny?
Caribou hunting? Cod fishing? Whatever. If it’s cheap just do it.
I know it’s 99% impassible but get the military out there and have them build a trail across some glaciers and shit. Somewhere rugged and cheap. Did I mention cheap? Subsidize ATV shipments or rentals and let me drive my ass across the tundra. Why the fuck not? I can recreate in Alaska… but if Greenland were cheaper and weirder how cool would that be? If it were American territory maybe I could go there with less passport bullshit. I could go camping with a pile of guns and my dirt bike. Shoot a rabbit? Set off fireworks? Yee haw!
I don’t know what’s going to happen. All I know is everyone has been trained to focus on the negative. We’re just so damn practiced at listing things we can’t do. I mention driving an ATV that isn’t yet there on a trail that hasn’t been made in Greenland and you can almost see the Sierra Club protests about endangered lichen materializing before your eyes. Lets stop that.
I propose things can change. I propose things can be done simply because it’s fun. I propose a bazillion acres of impenetrable glaciers and frozen tundra can spare a few spots for trails. Trump’s military base or whatever could come with a heaping helping of cheap stupid redneck entertainment.
It probably won’t happen but it could. Think of all the things that could happen that are rejected out of hand. Lets not be like that.
We’ve had military bases in Greenland since WW2. The largest one currently is Pituffik Space Base which used to be known as the Thule base. Just seems to be another shiny object that grabs Trump’s attention. The Chinese and Russian vessels he is complaining about are sailing in international waters and are being tracked so owning Greenland wouldn’t change that either.
yeh, Xactly what you said !
I recall that one of the legit complaints about adding Puerto Rico was ‘Where do we put the extra star?’ I have idea, ah ha!
While the good old US of A is making real estate investments, buy up British Columbia, Yukon, and maybe part of the Northwest territories. That means we add four stars. That means nine rows of six stars.
Plus, getting from San Diego to Alaska on the PCH!
Why not suggest The Don buys GAY America, oops, I mean certain provinces of Cana-duh too ? The wailing would be truly glorious.
My boomer parents are forever wailing about what “the Orange Bad-Man Has Done Now” and are Very Deeply Troubled Indeed™ just like the TV told them to be.
When I say that it is all distraction, why would he really want to do that, I reckon that it is just to get the idiots in the US media to look that way at something utterly ridiculous, I wonder what is really about to happen – ie deporting illegal immigrants or maybe our greatest friend about to do something in Iran now that Venezuela is secured by the US and likely to supply you guys with cheap oil?
But please ignore me because dont-cha-know I’m an absolute idiot because I listen to every ratbag conspiracy theorist on the internet and don’t believe the TV on face value. When I ask if “Weapons of Mass Destruction” rings any bells, that’s different.
If Trump renamed Greenland Epstein Island, then none of the News services, press or politicians would say another word about it.
Modern problems require modern solutions, eh?
Phil B
Good plan! And to think the only recreation I was thinking of was dirt trails. My creativity is weak!
Besides the strategic military aspects Greenland has untapped resources which would benefit the U,S,
We bought half the continental US with the Louisiana Purchase. Anybody recall Seward’s Folly? Go for it, Big Don!
Why Greenland?
First, well, it’s the overflight route for Russian, Chinese and North Korean ICBMs.
Second, it covers the shipping routes along the top of the North Atlantic and across the Arctic Circle. Which means it also is a great place for underwater listening posts to catch submarines.
Third, it has major amounts of vital natural resources from gemstones to strategic metals and Denmark won’t let those resources be harvested even though the Greenlanders are okay with it, many wanting it as they’d get subsidies from resource extraction.
Fourth, well, Denmark has mistreated the Greenlanders as bad or worse than either the US or Canadians treated their respective native Americans. Like just recently forcibly sterilizing or implanting IUDs in Greenlander women, forcibly removing Greenlander children to Denmark to make them Danish, and so forth.
Fifth, Denmark can’t and won’t defend the place. Hell, they can barely defend themselves against muslim invaders, let alone project militarily outside their borders. We’re already protecting Greenland from the ChiComs, Russians and everyone else, why shouldn’t we reap the rewards of owning it? Fuck Denmark. Fuck Copenhagen. Screw the Euroweenies and get us the hell out of NATO. Hate those leftist fuckers.
So that’s 5 reasons right off the top of my head as to why we should own Greenland.
Most Greenlanders want away from Denmark. They want self-determination, which making the part of the US umbrella as a protectorate will give them. They aren’t able to be completely a nation of their own. Denmark hates them, we at least like them more than Puerto Rico (which still doesn’t use English as a language even after being part of the US since 1897 (Guam has over 60% English speakers and they came under US protection at the same time.))
Plenty enough reasons to snag them. Which we should have after WWII.
Hit me up when we can drive atv’s is Greenland. I’ll find a way to get them there. I want to start an ATV club to find all the unusual places to ATV and organize trips.
Did not get to do iceland I went in the winter. It was cheaper that way. Snowmobiles were crazy $$$. Rode in the azores and plan on going back. Australia last year. Alaska the year before. Believe , Guatemala, and PR. DI hear Portugal is best in Europe and least expensive.headed to the Yukatan, then Peru and the Amazon this year.
Other than that just the western US. Piaute, Moab, Great Western Trail, Skyline, some in Nevada but don’t remember the names. Out by Great Basin. Need to go south and back east.
Getfreight at gmail