This Is Hilarious: Georgia Guidestones

Just for the record, I’ve never physically seen the Georgia Guidestones nor do I give a shit about them or take them seriously. I always assumed some dipshit with more money than sense freebased whatever their University professor told them and built it as a LARP. Someone who’s never read Ozymandias and has a mental state somewhere around “Legos and recycling”.

I consider the stones a cross between “Stonehenge for Meganerds” and “Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring”.

Regardless, they exist. They’ve got 10 inscriptions in 6 languages. The inscriptions are generic eco-speak Utopian bullshit. The kid of stuff that’s common ground between Ted Kaczynski and George Soros. Or maybe you could consider it a collaboration between a James Bond supervillain and Al Gore.

Notably it calls for the destruction of most human beings on planet earth… for the good of the planet of course. I’m not sure why leftie eco-nuts like to talk about killing off most of humanity (leave just 500 million of us). They seem to have the rock solid personal belief that the humans that ought to keep living somehow includes them (and not for example, farmers or physicists). “Everyone sucks except me.”

Nerds gotta’ nerd right?

Anyway, someone blew it up.

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

It’s just soooooooo damn funny.


This is how I imagine the dumbass rocks of woke-ness came into being:

“I want to kill all the humans.”

“Can’t you take up a hobby? Bowling is fun.”

“Nope! I want to kill all the humans because that’s better for the earth… which apparently cares about such things. I’ve found a bunch of other dumbasses that have the same goal. We made a secret society called “every college everywhere”. We’ll make rocks that document our secret society’s desire to kill all humans.”

“Wouldn’t that defeat the whole ‘secret’ part?”

“Nah, every university professor is in on it, you’d have to be completely stupid not to have heard it by now. It’s basically a requirement for tenure to declare you want to kill all humans… and also that you’re super-woke.”

“When you kill everyone, you’re going to spare the professors?”

“Ha! Why? Those guys are schmucks. We’re only going to spare hot chicks and people who can cook a good soufflé. And maybe one doctor. The rest go into the wood chipper… for the common good of course.”

“Of course, what other reason is there to have humans but to kill them! It will protect a planetary sphere from the monkeys living on it.”

“Yes, and then for Phase 2 of our master plan we will…”

BOOM!

“Looks like someone done blew up your shit!”

“Sigh, it’s so hard being the master rulers of society.”


The fun doesn’t stop there. I was trying to remember what the fuck they wrote on the stones. I remembered the general gist of things but what were the details?

So I clicked on Wikipedia. At 1:45 MST I read it. It surprised me with a line that said something like “On July 6, 2022 the Georgia Guidestones were blown up by a proletariat that didn’t like being killed off.”

I paraphrase because less than 16 minutes later it was already gone!

I just saw a tiny hint that there’s a secret war of dipshit nerds out there. Someone is putting up expensive rocks (nothing new about that) and someone else (who knows who?) is one is blowing up stupid rocks. Both sides (apparently?) are desperately trying to manage the situation in Wikipedia. Like, you got rocks and shit to bust rocks… fretting about wikipedia is just slowing y’all down.

Ha ha ha ha!


Oh my gosh there’s even more!

When I check stuff on the internet I often make a local copy. Why? Because some dipshit might try to edit the file. (It is 2022, it’s not like we haven’t seen information turn into i propaganda.)

It turns out I’ve got an unedited copy of the Wikipedia article.

Yes folks, right here at my Curmudgeonly blog I’ve got the very text that dipshits who edit Wikipedia articles don’t want you to know. Bwa ha ha ha ha… who knew an open browser tab and a hard drive could be so much fun!

It’s a little small to read. Trust me that the line about “proletariat realized that they would be the ones who were targeted” and “celebrations as symbol of oppression was reduced to rubble”… that shit was memory holed tout suite!

Bwa ha ha ha ha… It’s all so funny. Who knew rocks some nerd stuck in the dirt had so many panties in a twist?

Incidentally, if the FBI is investigating (for whatever definition of investigating the FBI does… for all I know they’re the ones blowing shit up)… I have no information about anyone or the fucking rocks. Nor do I have any dirt on Hillary Clinton. Nor do I have the slightest doubt that Epstein killed himself. While I’m at it inflation is transitory, everything is fine, and I believe in the Easter Bunny.

The only important part about the “new world order” is that they’re incompetent boobs who got wedgies in high school and deserve it. They’re fun to mock and otherwise irrelevant to the real world. I know exactly as much as you’d expect from a dude who writes about squirrels. I know to laugh!

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.
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4 Responses to This Is Hilarious: Georgia Guidestones

  1. Anonymous says:

    Curious to see how history characterizis this event 25 years hence.
    I for one am glad. Maybe the Ukies gave us one of our tank missiles back and we blew it up from a distance?

  2. Pleb says:

    Thank you for saving this vital record.

  3. John in Indy says:

    Another site suggests that it appears to be / the impact / flash / damage is consistent with an RPG or antitank weapon, as the videos do not show anyone approaching the henge before the blast.
    The blast was at 4 AM. By that afternoon, the rest of the still-solid stones had been destroyed with a backhoe. No reports or video of evidence collection / crime scene processing have been released, and it seems to me that the .gov may not want evidence or answers in this case.
    John in Indy

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      I’ve heard this but have no personal theory on what damaged them. I find it suspicious that the scene of a crime involving some pretty impressive explosive methods was completely wiped out and mopped up within 24 hours. Apparently the cops and everyone involved is perfectly happy with that? It takes me a week to find a guy to fix my driveway and six weeks to get a passport renewed but permission to nuke a crime scene is instant and they had heavy equipment on site by sunset?

      How did that conversation go? “We the police have hardly any leads, don’t know who did it, and it’s a nationally famous crime scene in involving explosives. But you want to doze it right fucking now? Sure, have fun!”

      Our modern world is filled with these little anomalies.

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