Spring Sailing 2021: Part 09: Bloggus Interruptus

At this point in the story I’m sound asleep on a picnic table; miles and hours from the dock where I’d started. I remember nothing of that necessary and appreciated break aside from a feeling of peace and joy. But, and this is very important, I remember the feeling soaking deeply into my bones. It was wonderful and cathartic. Some people take a sip of nature; offering the bare minimum, a tepid spoonful, to a thirsty and impoverished soul. Some never imbibe; poor bastards, chained to LCD screens and led astray by ephemeral notions. Not me. I’d grabbed nature with both hands and slurped greedily. A warrior chugging a drinking horn full of life. I felt the heady rush of the whole damn thing in my belly. I’d earned it. I loved it!

As for my impromptu nap, I assume I was daydreaming of quick deploy fishing poles and beer. I could have been thinking of nothing. There’s no finer peace than thinking of nothing. Through action over thought, I’d created within my heart the right to be free of external concerns.

The thing is, I’m nowhere near at that place as I type this. I’m hundreds of miles away and months in the future. It is winter; not the “softly falling flakes of snow” winter from Christmas cards but the brutal icy “death from the sky” conditions that make living in places like Florida seen wise.

The weather, which has been bad for several days, has increased. It went from bad to “every other concern pales in comparison”. This happens from time to time.

I’ve done all I can do. The mode of “prepare and get ready” is over. It has been replaced by “lets see what happens next”. As my grandmother used to say, “batten down the hatches and hang on to your hat”… she’d have been a fine pirate. Weather like this is never without drama…

Update 1a: Weather reports indicate deep snow on the way. I abandon typing to haul firewood. Blogs can wait when firewood needs attending. Grandma told me to make sure the firewood is in the house early “to let it warm”. I pay attention to the wisdom of my elders.

Update 1b: Our washing machine just died. Ironically, this has absolutely nothing to do with the storm. So much for my worries about the weather. The infernal device has a brain to tell it when to spin and when to drain and so forth. The brain is retarded. The brain has been replaced once before. This, the second brain, has failed just exactly like the first one did. The damn appliance has been a lemon since the day I bought it. It’s less than 1 year old and has been broke as many months as it has been functioning. Odds are it’s 1 day over the warranty and I’m fucked. These days all appliances are shit but this particular item is the worst piece of shit I’ve ever owned. (I’m not going to name the brand but it rhymes with “Girlpool”.) I’d have been better off taking the money spent at purchase and shoving it up my ass. At least then, I’d be spared the tremendous wasted time accumulating from all these breakdowns. If I’d known then what I know now, I’d have set the fucker on fire in the parking lot of the store where I bought it and just bought a second and totally different appliance. There are times when twice the cost from purchasing two of something is better than the wasted time and hassle of trying to deal with a thing that was cursed the day it was excreted by the lowest bidder in a far off factory. I wish I’d never bought a single thing from those assholes.

Update #2: Snow didn’t hit yet but the temperature is dropping. Glad I’ve got firewood.

Update #3: Holy fuck!

Update #4a: Snow’s deep and drifting. We’re literally snowed in. I’m warming up the tractor so at least I can plow access to the dirt road. When possible, I like to maintain things so a fire truck could get to my house… though I suspect all they’d do is preserve the foundation. Shortly after I plowed a half assed trail to the road the UPS guy dropped by. He looked frazzled; I’m not the only guy working hard this week.

Update 4b: Chickens are hardly laying eggs, I don’t blame them. Most of the eggs this week were frozen anyway. I’m glad they’re still alive.

Update #5: I forgot all about blogging. Cleared enough snow to get out and no more. I don’t like running my equipment in the very worst conditions unless it’s necessary. In the “it’s necessary” category, I started and warmed up my Dodge. I don’t like starting diesels in this kind of weather but it had to be done for various reasons. Once it was running, I decided to use it. I zipped to the nearest town to top off with some #1 diesel and by a jug of fuel for the tractor. Storms this long come in waves, best do what I can while I can do it.

Update #6: Everything is hard work and chaos! Blogging is out of the question. I’ve practically forgotten about literacy in general. There was a second quick break in the weather after some drifting flurries, so I hurriedly plowed the living shit out of everything once again. (You have to push back the snow as far as you can because it forms great immovable mountains. The mountains grow. Space you “preserved” in January will keep things workable in March.) I wish we had a UPS delivery just so the driver could enjoy the righteously plowed driveway. I hear the mating whine of snowmobiles in the distance. You go guys! This is your time to shine!

Updated #7: Hauled more wood. It’s getting much colder out there. All is well but it’s the kind of temperatures where shit starts breaking. I’m trying to do as little as possible and just letting equipment ride out the cold. It must be very cold out there because the snowmobiles have gone silent.

Update #8: Wife’s car broke. Now she’s driving a loaner from the stealership. That, like the washer, was not weather related. Just bad timing.

Update #9: Generator is still functioning but failed to kick in when it was supposed to for a testing cycle. I put a call in to the electrical company on that. Its on warranty. Also it’s no big deal. We have power and civilization exists. I’d like to run some clothes through the washer but it’s dead. I’m a big fan of using lots of hot water during cold snaps. It’s unthinkable to go to a laundromat in this weather. I’ll just wear old clothes and smell bad.

Update #10: -37 this morning. So far so good.

Update #11: Pipe burst in the laundry room. Guess I should have run water through the utility sink. Even when the washer is dead, the pipes need love. Rookie error!

Update #12: Shut off water to the whole house. Damage is minimal but a lot of my camping clothes got wet and are slowly turning to ice. I’m working on that. Nothing too grim, the laundry room was due for renovation anyway.

Update #13: I’ve drained, disconnected, and capped the pipes for the laundry room. The fucking washer doesn’t run anyway so it won’t miss the water supply. This allowed me to turn on water to the rest of the house. I deserve a fuckin’ medal for keeping the rest of the house standing.

Update #14: Low on firewood but we haven’t run out. It’s supposed to warm to +20 in a few days. I only need enough in the house to make it to the next warm spell. It’s -16 right now which isn’t awful but it’s very windy. Rather than start my tractor, I’m just going to haul a couple hundred pounds of firewood in my jet sled. I need the exercise anyway. (Minor update, a man can haul a shitload of wood with a sled if the snow’s mostly plowed. I rock!)

So where was I? Asleep at a beautiful campsite two lakes away from my tent? Wearing shirt sleeves and eating a bag of chips? Resting happily in the shade of tall pines? Oh yeah, bring me back to that place.

Time to return to my story of springtime…