We Were Promised Fireworks
The Boy Scouts (which was one third girls) had enjoyed themselves thoroughly. There’d been cops and soldiers. A few of them had scored beers from Ed’s well stocked coolers. They’d gotten to beat up some hippies. They’d gotten free military folding chairs. Then, when things couldn’t get any more awesome, there’d been the cell phone thief and the naked dude trying to kill him.
All in all it was a perfect night. Alas, there’s only one thing a teenage boy (or girl) cares about and that’s getting laid. They’d tried mightily but it just hadn’t worked out. They texted several times to the nearby Girl Scout troop. “You must see this! Naked guy chasing cell phone thief!” It didn’t get enough traction. “We already saw naked guy. Woof.”
One of the more mercenary of the boys promised the girls there would be “serious fireworks” if they came out and joined them. This wasn’t an idle boast. The boys knew darned well whenever there was this much firepower in one place, something would sooner or later explode.
Unfortunately, everything began to deflate as the excitement started winding down. Robert had been tossed into a police car and was being taken “downtown” for “further questioning”. This was probably for the best because he’d been just about questioned to a pulp by everyone there and needed a break. Several SUVs filled with various employees of important organizations saddled up and rode out too. About half of them aiming to keep an eye on Robert so they could get in on the Official Interagency Press Release; which meant credit for Robert’s apprehension and a chance to Hoover up more funding. It wouldn’t do to let the local cops get all the glory. The rest had caravaned for Dennys; having built up an appetite while saving the world. The MRAP rolled off… trailed by the 4×4 club. The National Guard contingent had failed to find room at any hotel, but they’d found a climate controlled warehouse facility on the cheap that would surely beat sacking out in a tent. They’d passed the hat, dispatched two men to buy most of a liquor store and meet the rest of them in the warehouse district, then demobilized.
That left Ed, who had just realized half his beer had been stolen by a bunch of snot nosed kids. He was livid! “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” He yelled. “I acquired that beer through asset forfeiture from some city guy with a bass boat, what right do you assholes have to steal it?”
Ed hated competition. He started storming around chasing Scouts and grabbing all the beer cans. The kids scattered, circled around, and reappeared near the unguarded coolers. Stealing even more beer. This was a fun new game. The Tri-county Anti-drug Community Interdiction Special Programs Environmental Task Force Team Pilot Project knew when they were beat. They sat on their respective coolers and let the rest get raided. Ed, however, was offended by the spirit of the thing. He lost his cool and started knocking over Scout’s new chairs.
Things might have calmed down, with Ed realizing he was the cat and the kids were the laser pointer, if only the Girl Scouts (which included one third boys) hadn’t shown up. The girls saw an angry game warden shouting and Boy Scouts swarming all over the place like rabbits. They were completely unimpressed.
The Girl’s leader, chosen through a series of backstabbing political maneuvers that made Game of Thrones sound like a friendly competition, put her foot down. “You promised fireworks!”
She had the toe tapping, hands on hips, angry woman vibe mastered perfectly. Someday she’d be able to crush a husband and gaggle of kids like Muad’Dib asserting the voice upon weaker foes. The other girls (and one third boys) lined up behind their leader… as they’d been trained to do by public schools, social media, and the innate herd mentality of all teenagers.
The Boy Scouts realized two things: First the girls had actually showed up, there was hope. Second, there had better be fireworks!
