Woodpile Update And WTF

Like most Americans, I have 1) a life and 2) common sense. Thus, I’ve been ignoring politics. It’s just too stupid lately. I’ve been stacking wood. Winter is coming.

It’s hard work and I’m doing every foot pound of labor myself. I’m a real deal, no bullshit, genuine, one man operation. There are other residents of Curmudgeon Compound but the dog’s too old and the rest have other priories. I’m not saying this to gripe. It’s my choice to cut wood. My goal is an optimistic shout out to other folks who also pull a load solo. The world isn’t all group projects and I rooting for the success of anyone who stands tall and tries their best.

Anyway it’s slow going. I finally racked up cord #3 and it was a struggle. I’ve felled, bucked, split, hauled, and stacked three full cords (9 face cords) and it still isn’t enough. But it’s what I’ve done. It’s many many tons more than the nothing I started with. (Last winter we ran out and it sucked!)

I felt the need to blog about my tiny little personal accomplishment so I logged on… only to realize everyone lost their Goddamn mind. Seriously, what the fuck’s going on out there?


First, my PredictIt feed showed a rise in one of the “impeach Trump” markets. I pondered what “Russia, Russia, Russia” claptrap is afoot this time. Did someone see Muller’s likeness in a piece of toast? Should I bet against them just to earn a pizza’s worth of smug winnings?

I surfed around investigating this round of perpetual butthurt and the lady doth protest too much methinks. It seems comically thin. Muller’s 2 year fruitless witch hunt is practically a model of prudent efficiency compared to today’s “breaking news” (which will probably be forgot faster than Epstein’s convenient demise). (Forgot about Epstein didn’t you?) Painting with a broad brush I sussed out that someone leaked something about an unnamed source who may or may not have directly witnessed a phone call that may or may not have said some shit… about Biden. Really? First of all it’s a legitimate topic of conversation but more importantly is there a worse hill to defend at all costs? Does nobody step back and think “am I doing a silly thing right now?”

As an analogy, when I’m using my chainsaw I maintain situational awareness. Fail that, and I won’t last long. I need total control over not merely the vicinity of the saw but also the big picture. Loose track of what you’re doing and you might sever something that’s holding several tons of tree without planning for the results. Gravity will kill you as fast as a kickback. Many people have wound up mashed into the ground and a few die every year. I propose DC is ignoring a world that merits situational awareness. By now, they wouldn’t know wise governance if it bit them on the ass.

I wanted to buy “NO”; wager a ten spot on sanity. But I held back. I literally thought to myself “is it wise to bet on sanity in 2019?” Nope! 2019 is not a time of sanity. I’d gladly bet against an impeachable offense but it’s not relevant. The House is in such a froth they’d happily impeach a ham sandwich on the grounds that it’s a supervillain from Jupiter. Count me out.

Off hand, I suspect this new foolishness benefits Trump. Each harebrained overstep is a slow pitch over his home plate. A giant outrageous eleven month bullshit explosion might be setting up a grand slam. If they push Cheeto Jesus from “squeak a narrow win” to “steamroller” it was self inflicted. I think Scott Adams said “all the democrats need to do is look sane”. He’s right and they don’t.

But what do I know? I’m just a dude who chops up trees.

Then I moved on to the more rational parts of the…

…what the fuck is this?

Apparently, Congress got super serious. Due to global warming, our lives hang in the balance. Because it’s an urgent matter of life and death they took testimony from a 16 year old with Asperger syndrome, obsessive-compulsive disorder, selective mutism, and a history of depression. (I’m not making that up, I took it from Greta Thunberg’s Wikipedia page.)

This shows nobody important buys global warming. When your ass is really on the line… you sure as hell don’t go seeking wisdom from a messed up 16 year old girl.

“Holy shit, I may have cancer.”

“We’re making arrangements for an oncologist right now.”

“Forget the oncologist. This is life or death! Only the very best advice will do. I need the emotional rantings of an autistic teenage girl!”

Ha ha ha… yeah, I know, not very PC of me. I’ll probably be pilloried for failing to properly genuflect but I’ll take that risk. After all, looking for logically consistent depth and wisdom from a distraught teenager is hilarious.

She’s a victim. It’s tragic really. Lemming-like masses of emotion huffing junkies told this kid she’s doomed and she’s too young and impressionable to know better. I sympathize. I went through it too (at a younger age and to a lot smaller degree). I was told the Russkies were going to drop the bomb, the looming ice age would freeze us, and overpopulation would make us all starve. I believed that stupid shit… when I was in elementary school.

Why? Because the fucking school told me all that crap! I remember reading a “school magazine” about how we’d have to eat ants in the coming times of starvation. They also helpfully pointed out I’d never get to own a car because there would be no fuel by the time I was 16. I’m not making it up, propaganda has been in schools for a long time. How was I to know they were full of shit?

Luckily I wasn’t totally surrounded by idiots. The only people that said ridiculous shit were voices on TV and a few of my flakier school teachers. My dad just shrugged and stacked wood and told me to chill out. Wise man.

Unlike Greta, I had the benefit of growing up to be well adjusted. I ignored spastic yahoos and became a real adult. I wasn’t saddled with a handful of untreated maladies and used as someone’s unholy meal ticket.

I skipped Greta’s emotional testimony. I won’t participate in that level of creepiness. The kid’s a victim. A movement that gets off on emotional testimony has her wound up tight and is using her like a meat puppet and that’s not right.

When an eight year old (still reading from Wikipedia) gets depressed and lethargic, stops talking and eating, and is diagnosed with three (three!) difficult conditions… you get the kid some decent treatment. You don’t use them as a battering ram. Good grief, show some kindness and let the kid have a normal life. She should be fretting over the prom or getting a driver’s license or playing video games or doing whatever stupid pointless crap teenagers normally do. The mind boggles at such cruelty.

As for Congress. Those fuckers are complicit. Kids are just kids. They don’t know shit. Everyone knows that!

I’ve got socks older than Greta Thunberg. I won’t take advice from someone that tragically unbalanced and youthfully naive. Call her back when she’s 30. When she can drive, hold a job, raise a family, and has a trade other than weepy grandstanding she might have intellectual value. Congress should interview adults with degrees in chemistry and a track record of wise prediction. If they were really worried about global warming that’s exactly what they’d do.


Everyone’s nuts and I’m going back off line. I’ve got wood to cut. Winter is coming.

A.C.

(BTW: This post’s title is not meant to weigh down the far more thoughtful Woodpile Report with my baggage.)

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.
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8 Responses to Woodpile Update And WTF

  1. Tom MacGyver says:

    “As for Congress. Those fuckers are complicit. Kids are just kids. They don’t know shit. Everyone knows that!”

    Yeah, and Congress knows the oldest of that set is voting next year. …Get ’em while they still know more than their parents…

  2. Tina says:

    You’re right, putting up wood for the winter is a much more profitable… and sane… pursuit. I pray that some level headed people will be available to Greta to help her build a normal sense of self. Otherwise she risks being like an exploited child star, whom the Left will abandon quickly once she is too old to be their wunderkind any more. May she grow up to be normal, and enjoy a quiet homelife doing ordinary things.

    Nice essay about solo chores. Three cords is a lot of work! In our house, I have to take care of things because my hubby physically cannot any more. I don’t cut the firewood, but I do have to make sure we have enough of it, and I have to get all the limbs that fall or need trimming are dealt with.

    I’ve bought an electric chain saw for the latter, because my little hand tree saw might be up to the task but I am not. And, I found someone to buy firewood from at a fair price (it seems to have to be someone new every year), he’s stacked two out of the 3 cords I ordered so far, and they are generous cords of good oak. I asked that he not split it because we use a wood stove, and the finer it is split, the faster it burns. I prefer whole logs once I have a nice bed of coals going… then they can just smolder and keep the temp constant.

    We ran out last winter too, and had to buy a cord during the cold so paid a pretty penny. Although here in north central Texas we only use one to two cords a year, it is because there are warm days in amongst the frigid cold. Instead of burning the small dead stuff as waste outdoors, I started breaking it into pieces and bundling it. Those bundles are perfect for warm days – light a quick fire against the morning chill, throw in another one every hour or so, but let it die down when the outdoors gets up into the 70s. Last year, I figure we got two weeks worth of heat from the bundles.

    • AdaptiveCurmudgeon says:

      Kudos for the bundling idea. There’s a couple chapters in the Little House on the Prairie series where they (in desperation) did something similar. I had other priorities for a few years but, last winter hit -42 and that sorta’ freaked me out. I want EXTRA wood this winter. I want lavish fires 24×7.

      Luckily, it’s still fall. There’s time.

  3. Brenda says:

    I really enjoyed your post today! I totally agree. And wood fires are the best!

  4. Max Damage says:

    “The kid’s a victim.” No, the kid’s a pinata at a party for politicians. Nobody cares about the pinata at the party, they only care that candy comes out when it is destroyed.

  5. Old 1811 says:

    “Call back when she’s 30.”? Too late! That’s 14 years from now and we’ve only got 12 years left!
    I know because a former bartender turned tax delinquent told me!
    Seriously, the poor kid needs help, but instead she’s being used as a prop and destroyed in the process. Every one of her enablers, starting with her parents, should be broken on the wheel.

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