Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 20: So Where Was I?

UPDATE: There was a period of squirrelus interruptus as I worked through writer’s block, real life, and a few bottles of whiskey. During that time I decided to go back and re-arrange a few already live Squirrel posts. I’m reclassifying them with the tag “Lesbian Squirrels – Redacted” so that they don’t clutter up the story as I meant to tell it. This update was written and posted on December 28th, 2019

Three months ago, gunfire was echoing through a convenience store and helicopters were careening wildly while Extreme Greeters dropped like flies. Then, with no warning, I quit adding to the story and the squirrels went dark. WTF?

You might think I’m easily distracted.

You might think I’m craftily pretending to be lazy while carefully formulating an epic plotline the likes of which will outsell 50 Shades of Harry Potter. This is the “he only looks like an idiot but he’s playing 4D chess” idea that originated (or rather resurfaced) with his Dilbertness but seems to have gotten totally misunderstood in the larger picture.

But I’m just a dude who got behind the eight ball of life’s details. We’ve all been there. Though it’s still an ongoing turbo cycle of suck, I presume it’s only temporary. Also, things could be worse. For example, it’s mid-January and both of the following are true:

1. I’m alive.
2. The pipes are thawed.

I’m doing fine. I can even see the tracks ahead of me where that damned eight ball is still outpacing my ass. I ‘aint dead yet. I’ll catch that bastard sooner or later. Part of “Operation Get My Shit Together” involves more squirrels.

Holy shit! I wrote the above text in January. It is now March! Life can really get ahead of you.

Usually I like to make a larger, slightly more conclusive set of posts before I release them into the wild. It gives me a chance to catch mistakes and inconsistencies before they enter the blogosphere. But further delay will not do and the squirrels will have to survive exactly as they are. I have only three new posts but 5,000 words is a lot more than the jack squat I’ve been producing and it’ll go live in the next few days. If I paint myself in a corner we’re all doomed. Pray for the squirrels because now I’m writing without a net!

Hold my beer and watch this!