Category Archives: Chapter 5 – Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment

Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 12: These Are Not The K-cups You Are Looking For

Twitch clutched Billy’s box of K-cups like a drowning man might grasp a life preserver. His eyes were wide and he was stringing together irrelevant movie quotes. Billy was maneuvering slowly and confidently; a prizefighter preparing for a one punch … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 11: K-Cup Showdown

Billy and Doogie had just started mopping the floor when ECTO1 nearly plowed into the store. Achmed blinked in confusion. Doogie looked pensive. Billy beamed. Nothing says America like a private freelance ghost extermination team. “Who ya’ gonna’ call?” Billy … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 10: Bear Launch

Twitch’s arrival, like all of Twitch’s arrivals, was a whirlwind of chaos presaging the greater tragedy to come. If Twitch had been a skilled driver, his screeching, sliding, sirens-wailing near crash would be a manly ode to Dukes of Hazard … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 09: Who Ya’ Gonna’ Call

Twitch MacGuffin made bad choices. The evidence of this was… everything. Twitch had, of his own volition, chosen comic book colorist as his career. He’d inexplicably expected this to lead to money, respect, and women; in that order. So certain … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 08: Attitude Adjustment

For years, Billy had chafed under the blatant misdirection of Federal Reserve Notes. “Here’s some green paper. Before you were born it was backed by gold but now there’s no gold in the vault and inflation chews your ass while … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 07: The Eulogy Of The Ronin

The music returned. Doogie pleasurably nodded his head with the sweet melody. In the nearby convenience store Billy glanced over, saw Doogie smiling, and went back to whatever he was doing. What was left of Doogie’s intellect knew the squirrel’s … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 06: A Proportional Response

The entire staff of the new tri-county, anti-drug, community interdiction, special programs, environmental task force team, pilot project were pensive. All two of them. Their “stakeout” wasn’t helping. After various home appliances and a cat had flown from the window … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 05: Bullshit, The Eternal Nemesis

“Bullshit”, Doogie thought, “is there no power that can stop it?” Doogie was engaged in the biggest intellectual duel he’d ever known. Bullshit is all powerful. He had to accept the truth. He’d already lost. Mind manipulation works even when … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 04: The Cure To Fractional Reserve Banking

Billy glanced at the car again. Doogie was bobbing his head in time to some unheard song. Good. This meant there was time for coffee. This was new. Instead of crusty unwashed industrial sized coffee machines with tanks full of … Continue reading

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Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 03 Buying A Pile Of Freedom

As he assessed the store, Billy’s heart soared. “This is it!” He mused to himself. “This is the mighty engine of capitalism, harnessed at the yoke, existing only to serve me.” He breathed it all in; flickering fluorescent lights, lottery … Continue reading

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