Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels!
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Category Archives: Chapter 5 – Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment
Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Exceptional Photojournalism
Chigger got it all on video. It was an exceptional piece of photojournalism. Despite a head sporting an Adidas tread pattern and the shock of meeting Batman, he stayed on task. Still recording, he reverted to is personal “go to” … Continue reading
Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Pedantics
Twitch tried to pull himself together. For him, this was a common desire but rare accomplishment. He counted to ten. He was alive! Now he needed to get out of this mess. He reached deep into his psyche and gathered … Continue reading
Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Things You Can’t Say
“What did he say?!?” The Smoking Man fumed. The Analyst and the Smoking Man were watching a real-time feed directly from Chigger’s cell phone to their secret base in {REDACTED}. The analyst had clandestine access to every cell phone in … Continue reading
Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Chigger Gets It On Tape
Chigger stepped out of the brush to get a better view of the helicopter. It was rocketing skyward at a crazed tilted angle suitable for an ICBM but all wrong for a helicopter. Years of redneck shenanigans had taught Chigger … Continue reading
Attack Of The Lesbian Activist Squirrels: Ride Off Into The Sunset
The stoic college dropout that entered the convenience store had been overconfident. The warrior that exited was unstoppable. Treachery had been unmasked and defeated. Powerful forces had come down from the sky only to be dispatched and mocked. A vomiting … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 19: Birth of a Supervillain
Billy sipped his beer and waited for the chaos to ebb. This was a time for patience; the weirder shit got, the shorter it would last. Billy made a quick mental census. The two extreme greeters Billy had shot had … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 18: One Less Ball For Mankind
Terry, completely unaware of Mary’s fate, was wreaking havoc on the cockpit. Flying from control to control, flipping switches at random, obscuring the pilot’s view of gauges, and eventually finding an opening in the co-pilot’s pantleg at the boot cuff. … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 17: 400’ Flying Knife Attack
Mary and Terry zoomed up the helicopter’s cable at the speed of squirrel. At the top Mary launched herself at the face of the winch operator. The operator had been handling tear gas cartridges and had a clear face shield … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 16: Goose Huntin’ With Chigger
Across the street, Chigger Johnson was thrashing through the brush. He had an illegal goose blind nestled between the highway and the train tracks in a six-acre strip of largely ignored brush. Chigger felt the easiest way to facilitate a … Continue reading
Billy Deploys An Attitude Adjustment: Part 15: Bart Meets A Non-Racist
The afterglow of the world’s first Ursus Americana turbo wedgie didn’t last long. With immense ferocity, an explosion tore part of the roof from the building. Everyone scattered; except Billy. He stepped back two paces, planted his feet carefully, and … Continue reading