As We Enter The Election Cycle Of Asshattery

I have changed my tagline. It was this:

“If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation.“

It’s a wise thought by Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus. He wrote it sometime in the first or second century AD.

It was appropriate when I put it up (in 2016 I think). I posted it early in what turned out to be three years (and counting) of screaming shitstorms. Half the voting populace faced cognitive dissonance and they were not handling it well. It was time to for the wise to withdraw and maintain. I was sure the situation would abate.

I was wrong. They’ve utterly failed to work through it. I didn’t see that coming.

I expected most folks to calm down within a few months. Adults learn to deal with adverse knowledge. We suffer through death of loved ones, divorce, health setbacks, lost dreams, bad decisions, aging, and our own mortality. Who thought so many of our people would go full retard after losing the power their team had held for eight years? I thought losing power (even to someone who’s easily perceived as a jackass) would be pretty minor.

“You’re going to die.”

“Meh.”

“An Orange real estate dude from New York City won the election.”

“Rage, anger, and caterwauling. Impeach, impeach, impeach! Burn the world to ash!”

Nope… didn’t see it coming.

Heck, I could get used to rule by Martian space ninjas faster than many have adapted to the Orange Menace. I’m not saying I’d like to be ruled by Martian space ninjas, only that I couldn’t possibly freak out every damn day over it. One day I’d get out of bed and say “we’re ruled by Martian space ninjas, so what?” Apparently that’s not universal. Who knew? I truly overestimated people’s ability to adapt and grow.

The quote was my gentle reminder that drama llamas are bad for you. They can carry on just fine without your participation and it’s best to keep them at arm’s length. As your mom famously said “if all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?” (In the last three years that question seems more ominous. Hint: the answer was supposed to be “no mom, I’m not a dumbass”.)

At any rate, keep your head and don’t let the psychos project their turmoil into your soul. Also, I was quoting a man from 2000 years ago (though I don’t speak archaic Greek) in the hopes it would offer perspective. This has happened before. It will happen again. Only the myopic think one election in one of a hundred and fifty countries in one year of several millennia of human existence is the proper and reasonable time to lose your shit.

The new tagline seems appropriate to the late phase of what looks to be a minimum of four years of raging insanity:

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

This is Voltaire. A French dude that had a lot of wise thoughts rolling around in his noggin. He died after the American revolution and (thankfully for him) and shortly before France tried their own version but went off the rails and self-immolated.

The point is, this is a 250 +/- year old quote. It’s not some Millennial nitwit that thinks history started after Pac Man was invented. This isn’t life advice from a limp noodle that can’t shift a manual transmission and has a degree in student loan accumulation. It’s a great thinker from long ago. Perspective.

As the election draws near, and to some degree in a gradual increment for as long as I remember, we’ve been told to believe stupid shit. The more stupid shit the better. We are instructed… we are ordered… to believe stupid shit so hard, so completely, that anyone who doesn’t join us in our belief of stupid shit is a science denying bastard that should be intellectually destroyed if not physically beaten.

There is only one reason to force people to believe stupid shit. It paves the way to make them do stupid shit.

Don’t believe stupid shit. Don’t do stupid shit. Especially, don’t do stupid shit to others. I would use the word “inflict”. Voltaire used the word “atrocity”.

We’re human and therefore sometimes make bad choices. If you’re going to be stupid, maneuver your bad decisions to the harmless and personal. Keep your stupid to yourself. Encapsulate your beloved stupid in your own world; where you can enjoy it in peace. Get a dumb tattoo but get it in a place that’s not going to make you unemployable. Purchase a stupid luxury if you must, but select one that won’t destroy your finances. (Yes to the $3k used motorcycle or the $60 bottle of fine whiskey, no to the $200K useless degree.) Get a new haircut, but don’t cut your dick off. Obsess over Game of Thrones until it’s a long forgotten memory, but get off the couch once in a while. Play Pokemon when you’re 30, but hold down a job too. So long as it’s harmless and personal and not irreparable you’re OK.

If you must be stupid, be stupid safely. Enjoy your stupid for it’s own merits and don’t club other people with your stupid. Other people have their own stupid. They prefer their stupid to your stupid. They’re entitled to fuck up their lives with their own choices. That’s how being an adult works.

The thing to avoid is believing absurdities and then performing atrocities. Vote as you wish. That’s just a decision. Fucking over your friends over who voted for whom is drifting toward atrocity. After the first heady rush of mob fun, you wind up in an echo chamber of like minded fools, and later… many years later… you realize you have no friends at all. You have people who shared the same stupid shit, but they’re not your friend… they’re friends of the stupid shit and not you.

Watch out, for it’s a dangerous thing. It’s insidious and crafty. If Satan is real, he wields stupid shit to get you to do things you ought not be doing. Hint: if you get a deep fiery visceral hatred of somebody over their political choices, you’re on the wrong track. You may already be trained for atrocity. Many a person in 2019 is ready to line “Trumpsters” up against the wall. They ought to read up on guillotines. This has happened before. It’d be nice if it happened again somewhere else and not here.

If you’re going to have regrets, be the old guy who decades earlier got a tattoo of Bill Gates. That’s funny. Don’t be an old guy who decades earlier put Jews on a cattle car. That’s never going to heal.

Don’t do that to yourself.

Voltaire hints at the solution; rationality is part of it. The next time you’re presented with a belief system, ask yourself “could this be stupid shit”? If you explained it to Voltaire (assuming you resurrected him and could speak French) would he look at you like a loon? Do you need detailed convolutions to hold that idea in your heart? Is part of your belief that those who disagree are retrograde troglodyte assholes? That’s a big hint!

If it’s key to your belief that those who hold other preferences are irredeemable, use caution. There’s a good chance you’re dancing on the edge of atrocity. Your human inhibitions against doing evil are wearing thin.

I put this up because there’s no likelihood of a sudden outbreak of rationality in the next 13 months. No hints of comity and good will on the horizon. Those in the throes of cognitive dissonance are speaking in tongues and spitting blood. The rest of us are horrified at the sight and recoil from them all the more. They are in pain but we cannot yet help. You can’t hug a writhing snake.

We would all do well to embrace Voltaire and if not tone it down at least stay away from the mob. Good luck y’all. This has happened before, it’ll happen again, we will all get through this. Maybe even, when it stops writhing and biting itself, we’ll have to hug the snake. If that’s what we need to do… be strong enough to do it when the time comes.

A.C.