Toyota

This summer I was appalled when grandstanding Congressional fucknuts put Toyota through the wringer. I’ve had my reservations all along. A couple of yoyos get weird in Toyotas and suddenly they’re deathtraps with evil throttle control sensors out to thin the herd. From within the beltway it’s possible to believe every car wreck requires Congressional assignment of blame but outside the beltway I know darned well that people are good at smashing cars and I’ve almost never seen someone claim that they wrecked because they’re a crappy driver.

Why would Congress jump on the “bash Toyota” bandwagon? Could they have been trying to nudge Government Motors into the black by hosing honest Toyota? Curmudgeon Rating: 2 Tinfoil Hats out of 10. (Meaning I find it entirely plausible but there’s no smoking gun.)

In keeping with it's "green energy" policy, the Obama administration has ordered GM to produce more hybrid vehicles.

It was all well and good for our elected clowns to prance about Washington but eventually they demanded (and received) the presence of Toyota executives Yoshimi Inaba and Akio Toyoda. That’s when they were well off the rails. Acting like toddlers with too much power should be reserved for domestic affairs…screwing with honest businessmen in the rest of the world is poor form. I hoped that future analysis would determine it really was a mechanical issue just so I wouldn’t feel like the Government that claims to represent me had been so galactically uncool.

Congress showed the worst of our culture and I was embarrassed about it. To their credit Mr. Toyoda and Co ate shit like champs. They accepted our Congressional inquiry with the best smile they could fake; a lot like striding past something disgusting at the monkey exhibit at the zoo and withholding comment. That really was classy.

Victims of a Congressional shafting.

The results finally came in and the press dutifully buried it. Toyota has been cleared of any wrongdoing. It’s time for morons in the US to learn from the example set by Mr. Toyoda. I want an abject apology from every Congressman who took part in that dog and pony show. Delivered while crawling on their hands and knees.

A Democratic representative making good on Nancy Pelosi's promise to restore integrity to Congress.

Of course, there’s a more Karmic solution. Akido Toyoda came here and dutifully put up with our culture of ignorant feces flinging chimps. Congress should return the favor by traveling to Japan and doing what that Japanese culture requires for the astoundingly incompetent; ritual suicide. I’ll immediately vote for any Congressman who does so!

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.

This entry was posted in The Shafted, Tinfoil Hat Ratings. Bookmark the permalink.

0 Responses to Toyota

  1. Sxooter says:

    I drive a 1990 Toyota Camry with a stick shift and a 4 cylinder. It has 197,000+ miles on it. Starts every morning, runs smooth, and only has a little rust.

    My ex, the mother of my children has a 2005 or so Toyota Avalon.

    The driver’s side window goes down, hits the bottom, goes to the top, hits that, goes to the bottom, rinse repeat, for like 5 times. AC reverts to recirc when you shut the car off and turn it back on. Back end bounces around like a half ton pickup truck. Scratch that, it’s worse. Brakes are hyper sensitive and non-linear. Engine surges all the god-damned time without my moving my foot. In short, it’s an utter and complete piece of computer controller crap.

    I’ll gladly pay for a new crated engine and / or tranny to keep my old 1990 Camry running. Toyota has lost the plot, and I don’t know if they can get it back or not.

  2. Pingback: Toyota: Followup To A Shafting | The Adaptive Curmudgeon's Blog

  3. John says:

    Oh those poor honest businessmen. I’m not allowed to build a snow man in the shape of a penis in my front yard because it offends the conservative Christians in the neighborhood but if a multi-million dollar company creates a vehicle that’s primary systems stop functioning as advertised which could potential get me killed, my wife killed, or somebody else killed/maimed for life – then our Congress must just be out of their mind for simply doing an investigation. Then upon the investigation showing no evidence they were at fault, letting the issue go.

    Oh they are such sick bastards aren’t they?! The inhumanity of questioning a rich man of his practices !

    Why don’t we just go back to the serfdom of feudal times? That’s right, because we are already there.

    • If I thought this was an honest investigation of an engineering issue I’d be all for it. I like science.

      It is my opinion that Congress was not doing an investigation at all. I believe they were making a spectacle for political points. I base this opinion on the concept that you can investigate the hell out of a Toyota’s brake system with a room full of engineers and some vehicles. It’s not rocket science and it doesn’t happen on the Congressional floor. Done correctly it’s merely a boring technical exercise. Consumer Reports does similar examinations all the time. The presence of Toyota executives Yoshimi Inaba and Akio Toyoda in front of a panel of American Congressmen is as far from a scientific investigation as humanly possible.

      I’m not sure how that ties into penis shaped snowmen but you’re welcome to make whatever snow sculpture you want so long as it’s on your lawn and not mine. Everyone needs a hobby.

      Modern politics isn’t pretty but I don’t think we’re serfs in feudal times. Not yet anyway. I base this on the fact that the mayor of my town isn’t riding around on a horse making war on the neighboring village or pillaging my grain stores. Though sometimes around tax time it feels like it. 🙂

Leave a Reply