Adaptive Curmudgeon

In case my description was insufficient, here’s a visual aid. My motorcycle trip was completely the opposite of this.

Hat tip: Daily Timewaster.

Many posts on my blog are about how I’ve screwed up. Which, if you think about it, is where a lot of the fun in life happens for everyone. I’m just sayin’. Anyway, sometimes I get it right. This time I hit a home run.

I had to face the eternal challenge of motorcycles; “how does one carry stuff on in a way that’s waterproof, impact resistant, convenient, and well balanced… oh yeah, and do it cheap”. I came up with a solution that totally rocks!

I decided to repurpose Milwaukee Packout toolboxes. I’m happy as a pig in shit with my clever little idea! It’s cheaper than virtually any commercial motorcycle stuff, modular, tough, allows easy access, it’s lockable, and even looks OK. In my humble opinion, it’s better than something that would cost five times as much.

First, take a look at the rear rack I’ve already installed on my Yamaha TW200. The stock bike has no room and a load limit of “more or less nuthin'” so you’ve got to start by mounting a rack. I chose a CycleRack. It’s tough as nails and easy to install. Maybe it’s not the prettiest thing in the world but I’ll choose utility over pretty every damn day.

What I mounted to that nice solid base was a Milwaukee Packout. Here it is with the price tag still attached. I was doing a “test fit”. It’s perfect!

Notice how it doesn’t hang out over the edges? Yeah, that’s a feature! If (when!) I smash into a tree there’s about 3/4″ between the rack (which also sticks out a bit and protects some of the bike’s body cladding) and the load. I like that. It also means I’ve got access to the rack for tying stuff down. There are never too many “mount points” for lashing stuff to a motorcycle!

Milwaukee’s Packout ecosystem has about a zillion pieces that interlock like Legos. What you’re looking for is the 1/2 width pieces. That means the pieces which are designed to lock to either the left or right half of a bigger toolbox. The full width stuff is too unwieldy for a motorcycle.

The half width stack starts with either the Regular Milwaukee Packout or the thinner Compact Milwaukee Packout. Aside from thickness, the only difference I’ve found is the handle. The Compact Milwaukee Packout has a fixed handle and the Regular Milwaukee Packout has a folding handle. The two look fine when locked together.

Both lock to each other. Both come with five little cups to organize your shit (which I immediately removed). Both have watertight sealing gaskets and nice hinges and dual points that close it and a place to put a padlock. Neither handle is a problem when mounted to the motorcycle.

Miraculously, the Regular Milwaukee Packout fits exactly around the upraised bar on a CycleRack! It makes centering much easier and it’s a very solid place to mount. I suppose it even protects the Packout in case I back into a tree(!). It fits perfectly!

The bottom of Packouts are uneven. They’re almost exactly like a Lego in how they hook together. This makes drilling holes a bit of a chore. I did my best and it came out like this. In an unrelated note, my 20 year old cheap ass drill press died when I was doing this. All those mouse nests finally ate the thing. I’m in the market for a drill press now.

I bought plain u-bolts (stainless steel now that I think about it) for the mounting. They wrap around the CycleRack and stick up through the bottom of the Packout. I used locknuts to keep it there and splurged on a buck’s worth of little white protectors to keep my crap from getting scratched up. I could only fit the rectangular washer thing (what is it called?) on two of four mounts. I was worried about this but it has no impact at all. No cracks or vibration stress at all so far. I’m not sure if four mounts was necessary but I like to be extra careful.

Packouts stack like Legos… but better! Once you’ve drilled and mounted one, you just snap others on top.

The “Legos” can stack as high as you want. They all have the same footprint (which is about 10″ x 16 1/4″… I note the specs on Amazon vary a bit which is weird but the half width Packouts all match their footprint). The difference among the “Legos” is height. The Compact is about 2 1/2″ tall, the Regular is about 4 1/2″ tall, and there’s a Compact Toolbox which is a hefty 16″ tall.

The Compact seems weird but it’s absolutely perfect for an iPad. I have an iPad something or other… the middle sized one I think. With a modest case on it, the iPad fits width wise to absolutely the perfect amount. Not too tight, not shifting back and forth. I add one or two slim packets of baby wipes on top of the iPad and it’s the right thickness; it can’t bounce up / down. (And Baby Wipes are a damn good thing to have on the trail!) I added two Altoids Arctic tins and that locks it in the third direction. Just tight enough that it’s not squeezed but not bouncing around. (Pay attention here: this is Altoids Arctic tins… not regular Altoids tins.) Those things all work together incredibly well. I’ve got it setup so sweet I think I could drop this thing off a cliff and the iPad would be unaffected. Also, in a 2 1/2″ thick waterproof, ruggedized slab you’ve stashed everything to have an iPad (with Avenza for navigation), a clean ass, and fresh breath. That’s some slick packin’!

Aside from the iPad, a compact might be great for a small fishing tackle box. I’ll report back on that in the future. If, for some inexplicable reason you wanted to carry a pistol and had a perverse desire to have it in a box instead of a holster… that’s another good use of the compact. Though that probably only applies to folks in California?

The Regular is my main workhorse. Right now it’s filled with tools and matches and a knife and survival shit. I’ll sort out exactly what I need as I try things out.

The Compact Toolbox is too tall for my purposes. I’ve never seen one in real life. If you had an ATV, I’d say go for it and stack to the moon but for a bike it might be pushing it.

In addition to the “Legos” (which can stack infinitely high), there are pieces that must be “top of the stack”. These lock on top of “Legos” but you can’t stack on top of them.

I chose a Milwaukee Packout 15″ Tool Bag. It’s just about the right size. Ideally you wouldn’t need it at all on short rides but I’m still “getting my feet wet” (literally) and have been carrying a bit more than “minimal” until I get used to what’s needed and not. You access the Tool Bag by opening a zipper. It’s not waterproof but I can say I’ve splashed it plenty with mudpuddles and that hasn’t gotten my stuff wet. It’s fabric instead of hard plastic but it’s plenty reinforced. If you somehow tear it while riding it was probably in an act you won’t survive anyway. It’s that tough.

In the Tool Bag, I’m carrying snacks and an MRE, a water bottle, some maps, an old MSR bottle of spare fuel (I’ll refine fuel carrying in due time), and spare warm clothes. I could fit a lot more but the idea is to strike a balance between “prepared for anything” and “loaded like a minivan”. The Tool Bag has two outside pockets. It’s probably best to keep your water and gas on the outside and away from your clothes anyway.

If you stash stuff in the side pockets, clip it down with a carabiner or it might fly out. (Ask me how I know this.) Since this is “top of the stack” it’s a great place for light but bulky stuff. A sweatshirt or sleeping bag makes sense, but don’t get stupid and carry a bowling ball up there. The shoulder strap is removable (so remove it… now it’s a carabiner’s anchor) and the sewed on handles don’t get in the way while riding. (They might come in handy for strapping things down.) There are outside places to strap other things. A spare hat or whatnot might make sense there. Just keep the weight under control.

There are (as far as I know) three “top of the stack” options; Milwaukee Packout Backpack, Milwaukee Packout Cooler, and Milwaukee Packout 15″ Tool Bag. There may be more but these are what I’ve seen myself. I’d be wary of open topped totes… your fond memories of a milk crate on a bicycle leave out the memory of all that shit flying out of the unsecured top when you ride hard. The cooler is awesome but I seldom carry beer while camping/exploring and prefer to carry stuff like jackets and dry socks.

The backpack might be awesome but it was a little more expensive so I chickened out and didn’t buy it. At the time I wasn’t sure how the Packout system would all work together when bolted to a motorcycle. Now I know it’s damn perfect. The backpack might be very cool if I wanted to step off the bike and go hunting. It’s about the size of a hefty daypack. It’s setup for electrician’s type tools but could be used as a hunting daypack just fine. (If you’re one of those guys who can’t endure hunting gear unless it’s your favorite flavor of camo, this might be an issue for you. I’m ambivalent about camo. I’m wonder how much of camo’s appeal is just for the humans buying it and how much it actually improves your hunting odds.)

Here’s my total purchase of two Regular Packouts (one is now drilled and bolted to the CycleRack), one Compact Packout. and the “top of the stack” 15″ Tool Bag. I can’t remember exactly what I paid for everything but I think you can have that whole set, and the u-bolts and some Altoids and whatnot, for about $100. Try that with a “made for motorcycles” Givi topcase!

The cool part is you can mix and match as you see fit. Here’s an in-motion test from an early ride with two regulars. I think I’ve already posted photos of a huge deer blind strapped on top of the one permanent regular? Get creative y’all!

So far I’ve mostly been using the permanent regular, the slim for my iPad, and the tool tote for food and an MRE. (Leaving the other regular home.) I can say that the three piece ensemble has ridden about 100 miles (about 50% off road) like it wasn’t even there.

Well that’s my big win of my motorcycle outfitting. The important part is that it’s summer! Get out there and play!

If there’s one thing every guy knows, it’s how to appreciate a front rack. [OK, that’s a dumb joke, but it had to be done.]

Putting weight on the front forks of a motorcycle is not necessarily wise. But some folks got in the habit of doing so and I think front racks just have an awesome Mad Max vibe that I can’t help but appreciate. I suspect the original idea was for when you’ve got a huge elk quarter on the rear and need a counterbalance to keep the front wheel on the ground. Or maybe that’s a bullshit story and I’m just believing crap I saw on the internet?

All I know is I very much wanted a front rack for several reasons:

• It looks cool… zombie apocalypse approved.
• If I need to grab hold of the front of the bike and physically drag it somewhere… like with a z-drag… I want a nice solid anchor point.
• You can never have too much carrying capacity.
• Did I mention it looks cool?

Unfortunately, a front rack is expensive. But as luck would have it, I found some fella on the internet that had bought a used TW and was trying to get rid of the front rack that came with it. I helped out, a few bucks changed hands via paypal, and $20 worth of shipping later I was looking at a used (not new!) rack on my workbench.

It came with no hardware. No instructions. It had a little rust, but nothing too bad. I got it for under half of what new would cost.

Here it is next to the skidplate I mentioned in my last post.

After a few days sniffing around the internet I figured how to install it. It took virtually no effort and it’s integrated into the front fork rock solid. It might actually protect the front a bit if I run into a tree or something… or not. Point is, it’s solid.

Also…

IT LOOKS COOL!

It’s not particularly practical. If I put anything heavy up there I might alter the steering balance. If I put anything bulky there I’ll block my headlamp. BUT IT LOOKS COOL!

I immediately tested it out and it was indeed handy. In these photos I’m lugging a big ass hunting ground blind on the back. I had a little propane stove in the blind and I couldn’t figure out how to carry it at the same time as the blind. Viola! Strap it down to the front with a cheap old bungee net and it worked slick as snot.

The little mule is shaping up to be an even better cargo hauler than I expected. This particular location is a stone cold bitch to get in there with an ATV. There are big rocks that hide in the grass to pound my ATV’s undercarriage and even high center it. The plucky TW is too narrow to understand the concept, it just zips to the left or right of any big rock and sweeps through just as fast as I can lift my foot out of the way and hang on. Wow!

I began a search for the perfect thing to carry on my new VERY COOL LOOKING rack. I came up with a Redcamp Wood Burning Folding Camp Stove:

Ignore for a moment that the wood stove appears to be hovering in space and the background has a hipster chick in a pretentious hat and a blonde eating a marshmallow that might be beat her in chess. The stove itself seems pretty solid.

I’ve used mine 3-4 times and been pleased with how it handles combustion. It’s pretty slick, you can have a fire in wind without hassles, and toss a bratwurst on the top for damn near instant lunch.

I got the large size. I’ve been wanting a stove like that anyway. I have an Ohuro “twig stove” that I’ve enjoyed but is also small and finicky. I simply have more carrying capacity when the bike does the work.

It’s too heavy for backpacking but folded up and zipped in it’s nice case, it should fit perfectly on the front rack. I haven’t tested it on the bike yet. I need better straps before I try. But all indications are I’ve found the perfect thing to sit right beneath the headlight beam and make camping more fun.

Here’s another photo. It’s stainless steel and fairly beefy. After you use it, it’ll lose some of the gloss. It’s a firebox, not a laptop. I give it the thumbs up for combustion, but haven’t tested long term reliability… then again it’s $35, not a lot to risk. YMMV

My little TW is said to be nearly unkillable. That said, me and Murphy’s Law have a long and storied acquaintance.

One of the very few weaknesses to a Yamaha TW200 is the low crankcase. You could conceivably smash the crankcase into a sharp rock and damage it. Realistically, this kind of event has a low likelihood of happening, especially since I am trying (somewhat unsuccessfully) to be mellow. Also, the good folks at Yamaha equipped the TW with a skidplate. Here’s the brand new OEM skidplate with a bespoke applied patina of organics:

Not a scratch on it. But it just looked too wimpy for my tastes. I wanted something better.

My reasoning is that I’m stupid. If there’s a sharp rock I’ll be drawn to it like a moth to flame. The second bit of reasoning is I travel solo. Normally off road people travel in packs. When one damages his or her ride, everyone else has a good laugh and then bails their fellow traveler out. No huge penalty for the mistake.

Not so for me. Just about any off road machine can get you far enough into nowhere that hiking out on your own is a solid gold pain in the ass. If you’ve ever had an unplanned 15 mile hike… you know it’s something best avoided. If you’ve ever hiked half of 15 miles before it got dark, hunkered down overnight by the trail, and continued on… you know it sucks. If it happened while raining… well you know.

So, to prepare for the worst and stack the deck in my favor using mechanical overkill, I ordered a upgraded skidplate from Ricochet. I can’t recommend this upgrade enough. It cost about $100 and you can find them on Amazon. (Note: Ricochet sells a zillion skidplates so make sure you’re getting the right one.) I can’t remember if I ordered via Amazon or directly from Ricochet but I think the price was the same either way.

If you’re the sort that cares about such things, you can get the skidplate with an array of powder-coated colors. It’s only about $20 more. Honestly, it would dress up a plain little TW quite nicely. However, I expect mine to be covered in mud 99% of the time so I didn’t bother with a color.

The replacement vastly exceeded my expectations. You could bludgeon a moose to death with this beast!

This is what the two look like side by side. I have no complaints about Yamaha’s design, it’s a $4,500 motorcycle and decisions have to be made. But the replacement is a bad ass improvement.

Installation was pretty easy. I wanted to use anti-seize on the bolts (which are included) but during the COVID flake-out I couldn’t get any. I plan to add anti-seize in due time… and I’ll probably forget all about it.

I can’t remember if the replacement bolts are metric or SAE. I am carrying emergency tools in metric sizes. I may, in due time, swap to metric just to be safe. Also two of the included bolts are monster Torx bolts. Nobody normal will have a monster Torx socket on the trail. (I had to order Torx sockets on Amazon and wait a week for delivery.) I’m not sure why you’d ever need to pull the skidplate (if you hit something hard enough to trash the skidplate… you’re already dead) but that’s something to think about.

In case you’re wondering, the skidplate doesn’t interfere with oil changes. Once it’s installed, just leave it on.

So, this is almost certainly overkill but I have no regrets. It even looks good.

BTW: This skidplate, like the rack, was funded by Paypal and Patreon donations. No shit guys, I really appreciate every penny.

Also, you might think I’m bolting a gazillion dollars of farkle onto this basement priced little motorcycle but it actually came in under budget and I’m almost done. Upgrading from basic OEM to Curmudgeon-approved death mule has been pretty inexpensive. For example, put a skidplate on your Toyota and then come back and look at what I did for under a C-note. Of course, there’s always more cool shit to add, but I’m not far from declaring it “good to go” and seeing how far I can get.