Adaptive Curmudgeon

Years ago I started hacking pallets apart. I “made” nail-free kiln-dried camping firewood. I’d blast through a bunch of pallets in an hour or less. I’d get about 50% useable firewood (in short lengths) and 50% nail ridden health hazards. The firewood went in a new, clean, dry trash can where it stayed dry and readily available. I hauled the junk to the dump before it wound up embedded in my truck’s tires.

I’d throw the trash can with the useable firewood in my truck and haul it on camping trips. There are campsites at State and National Parks where you’re not allowed to bring in your own firewood. Kiln dried wood (with no nails) is an exception. You can bring that in. (Kiln dried wood has no pathogens, unlike the hunks of tree I chainsaw and split in the usual firewood gathering method.)

I thought it was brilliant. I still do. It burns clean, quick, hot, and complete. I’ve cooked more meals on pallet wood than any non-hobo you know.

I’m not camping much lately but I had plans to “man up” for a late autumn campout. (It’s only October so I figured I could push my health a little.) I hacked enough pallets to make a full trash can of good clean campfire wood. Alas, I just wasn’t up to camping. Sometimes it’s better to listen to your body than push things too far.

Luckily, I have been healthy enough to putter around my workshop. (Which is awesome!)

I dragged the trash can to Betsy (my workshop’s woodstove) and burned it all up. There are worse fates than messing with miter saws and brewing coffee with pallet wood heat in a haphazard workshop.

So far, so good.

I started wondering if I could get good useable “project” wood out of pallets. I’m not low on funds now but I will be soon. Could all this (free!) wood keep me occupied and off the streets? Lots of people use pallet wood but often they’re making decorative things. I don’t make decorative things. Nor do I have access to really excellent pallets.

I gave it a shot. I even scrounged up some oversized (6′ long!) pallets on the logic that a 6′ pallet might yield a 6′ board.

Nope! First of all, a 6′ pallet is just heavy enough to fuck up my back. I have regrets. Second, the 6′ boards were thin and mostly already split. So I didn’t free up anything great.

I watched some YouTube and got more ideas… none of which were particularly miraculous. I got various bits of crappy wood, some with nails and some without, at the expense of far too much labor. Most of my noble efforts wound up tossed into the woodstove.

You can watch YouTube and get the wrong idea. It feels like clever dudes are getting stacks of straight glorious hefty oak planks in eleven seconds. It feels like I’m a dumbass for getting heaps of split, bent, thin, crappy, warped, aspen and pine. The truth is somewhere in between. Either they’ve got pallets nothing like the shit I’m messing with or I’m just seeing the cream of the crop. Did you know, things in the real world are not like the internet? Shocking but true!

Stepping back a bit, I got shitty wood from my shitting starting materials after a lot of work; which is exactly what you’d expect!

I keep trying, and I’ve got piles of “not quite good” wood gathering in my shop. It’s not great but it’s not nothing.

Then I read a bit of prose written by Chirsopher Schwarz, a very thoughtful woodworking guru. I recognized myself in this: Earlywood: The 6 Personalities of Workbench Builders.

The Cheapskate gets down to business: I want to build a Roubo workbench, but I’m tight on fundage. We’ve got these pallets where I work, and I’m wondering if those will work? I don’t know what the species is – something weird – and the stock is thin and filled with nails and spiral screw things.

I am certified in counseling The Pallet People. So I know what to do.

He knows! He satirizes where I was going.

I was drifting into the realm of the pallet people! Time to pump the brakes!

I’d burned hours acquiring wood that’s really not that great. I could get better wood for $25 at the local mill. It would take ten minutes and they’d load it in the truck for me. I’m not awash in cash but I’m not scavenging to survive in a post apocalyptic wasteland either. It won’t kill me to buy a decent pine board once in a while.

I’m not giving up entirely. I’m cheap at the molecular level and can’t go “cold turkey” on pallets. I’ll still hack up campfire wood (and maybe some fuel for Betsy.) I also have some projects that call for shitty wood. I might build them out of the shitty wood I’ve accumulated.* I’ll get some satisfaction out of that. But in my experience there’s no miracle gold mine in scrounged pallets; just a righteous workout and maybe cheap firewood.

I salute Schwarz for putting out humor (and logic) that keeps me grounded.

A.C.

*Mrs. Curmudgeon views this with suspicion. She fears I’ll make shitty projects with shitty wood that look shitty. Which is precisely what I’ll do. I’m not really into “keeping up with the Joneses” and don’t care what stuff looks like so long as it serves its utilitarian purpose. What can I say? I’m happy brewing coffee with pallet wood in an antique stove in a dusty garage so that’s just how I am. HOAs exist specifically because guys like me exist. It is what it is.

I’ve always wanted a miter saw. Now I have one. The thing about a big machine like that is it needs a proper bench/table. I priced out miter saw stands costing anywhere from $200 to $unspeakable. I decided to build my own.

The whole point was to learn. But I also saved a ton of money.

Rather than reinvent the wheel, I picked one of the eleven zillion miter saw table plans online. I chose DIY Miter Saw Stand – How To Build a Rolling Miter Saw Stand. There are more elaborate plans. There are less elaborate plans. YMMV. (I am in no way affiliated with or sponsored by that web site. They don’t even know I exist.)

It’s the modern world and nobody posts anything without “an angle”.

The folks at Kreg make a thing called a pocket hole jig. A pocket hole jig is 100% absolutely not necessary to build a miter saw stand but it looks cooler if you use one. They made the plan with the pocket hole jig in mind.

I knew this. A few years back I watched a contractor make slick trim for a window out of 1″ x 4″ boards and a pocket hole jig. I was like “I want to know that skill”. So, I picked the overkill Kreg design.

The plans call for a Kreg® Pocket-Hole Jig 720. It looks pretty cool but I didn’t have that kind of scratch and didn’t feel like waiting for Amazon. I bought a Kreg Jig R3. There was exactly one option at my local store and that was it. The set I got didn’t have the clamp or many extra screws so I had to make a second hardware store run to get appropriate Torx screws and a big ass long Torx bit. It was no big deal but if you’re buying on-line get it all at once like this: Kreg Jig R3 Master System with Starter Screw Kit & Classic 2″ Face Clamp. The clamp it comes with is pretty nifty (I wish I had one). The 100 included screws would’ve probably been plenty to do the whole miter saw stand.

Here’s what the fairly minimalist pocket hole jig I purchased looks like (it comes with the drill bit):

After finally getting the hang of a pocket hole saw and a new miter saw I’d made one side of the table. (Yes I used the miter saw to cut parts for its own table.)

Here’s some of the parts for the second side:

The plans called for lawnmower wheels. My local store didn’t have what I wanted. They came up with a couple wheels but it would’ve been an unmatched set and cost like $40 total. Far too expensive.

At first I was in a quandary. Then I got all excited to use my 3d printing voodoo knowledge. I would make 7″ wheels. I even picked out translucent orange PETG and started planning a circumference of squishy TPU. It was going to be awesome!

Unfortunately, I found some old wheels I’d stashed in a junk pile. They fit the bill. So I just went with that. I saved some filament I guess.

The best part of a DIY project is feeling good about your new creation. I was very pleased how it turned out.

It looked so nice I dug through my mess and found a nearly empty can of Danish oil. There was a little left and I slathered it all on my new cart.

Now it has extra awesomeness.

The saw I purchased is an absolute beast. The table design is probably for an “average” miter saw. Mine just barely fit.

I put extra 2″ x 4″ supports under the top to have better anchor points for the lag bolts. Once screwed down, Godzilla couldn’t pull the saw off the table.

The next part was to use lengths of 1″ x 4″ and 1″ x 6″ to make “wings”. These support boards at the exact right height and position when you cut. The wings are removable, just clamp them on when you need them. Unfortunately I only have so many clamps. I guess I’ll buy some more.

The wings were fiddly and annoying, but also good practice for using the new saw.

I spent a lot of time fretting over millimeters. I used my 4′ level as a straight edge.

I’m not gonna’ lie. One piece had just enough warp to piss me off; so I recycled it.

I did the right side first. By the time I got to the left side, things made a lot more sense. The second “wing” came together much better.

When all is said and done, I have a table that looks like it’s owned by a real woodworker. I think I’m doing OK on the “fake it until you make it” learning track.

Well that’s about it. Happy workshopping.

A.C.

P.S. In case you’re wondering, I probably spent about $140 for the table. And I now have a pocket jig too. I think it’s worth it because I value what I learned. If you’re in a hurry just drop twice want I spend and it’ll be done in an hour instead of a few afternoons.

P.S. My saw’s dust collector is a lame little baggie. Very uncool. I have a homemade dust collection system in my shop (made it many years ago). The hose from my dust collector (repurposed vacuum hose) doesn’t fit the saw. In the old days I was perpetually trying to tape hoses to fittings with Gorilla tape or sketchy adhesives. Now I’m a big bad 3d printing nerd, so I whipped up a “saw to suction hose” adapter. It a few hours to figure out the precise dimensions. After that it was an easy one piece print. (I think I could make a tougher, better adapter but I wanted to see how and where the first prototype broke. Right now it feels like the “prototype” might last forever. I used TPU for AMS filament so it’s flexible but not too flexible. YMMV.) Neither the new miter saws nor the old radial arm saw is great for sawdust management in general. It’s just a function of the tool’s design.

When it comes to kitten cuteness, resistance is futile.

Our wizened old barn cat is not particularly happy about the new competition. However, the superpower of kittens means the little one somehow got away with his share of food. Our barn cat would normally fight a wolverine to protect it’s food monopoly (and lose because it’s a small cat), but for some reason it didn’t smack the kitten. It just growled and put up with it.

(Yes, I know. Cow milk is not good for cats. It seems so damn wholesome but it’s not. I told Mrs. Curmudgeon to quit giving the little one cow milk lest it get the shits from hell. I believe I said something like “it’s like giving a toddler Taco Bell”.)

Once you feed a cat you are never cat-less again. Yes, we use an old pot for cat food. Classy eh?

I was minding my own business when I heard a sudden outburst of pitiful meows from my woodshed. I texted Mrs. Curmudgeon: “There’s another damn stray. It’s in my woodshed. The fucker had better not take a dump on the wood I worked so hard to stack!”

I like cats in theory but I’ve had enough of them in practice. We’ve already got a barn cat. It spent years pissing me off. As it aged it slowed down on the destruction of stuff (aside from scratching the hell out of our door jam) so we established a détente. I’m nice to it and give it food and water and I even built a nice warm place where it can sleep (outside!). I make sure it has a heat lamp in winter. In return the cat does nothing whatsoever and is still annoying when it can be. It still gets itself locked in my garage if I’m not careful whenever I open the door. On the other hand it hasn’t torn up my tractor seat or my motorcycle saddles… lately.

The cat has lived for what seems like forever. It’s original name was “Lucy” but I call it by every synonym for “evil” or “asshole”. Regardless, I respect all living things, especially in their old age. I treat it well and patiently look forward to the march of time providing me with a cat free life. I’d have a different opinion if the little jerk ever caught a mouse.

You’d think an outdoor cat would be hassle free but the cat bowl attracts all sorts of mayhem. Squirrels, chipmunks, songbirds, skunks, raccoons, you name it. I’d rather avoid the drama but I promised the old barn cat I’d take care of her. Also, I have a soft spot in my heart for chickadees. They’ve got blanket amnesty to steal all the cat food they want. The jays are a bit more aggressive but I can live with it. The rest annoy the hell out of me, including the inevitable arrival of another damn cat.

That stray showed up several years ago. I named it “Intruder Cat”. It’s not a full time resident. It disappears for months and then shows up from time to time. At first it would fight with my old barn cat and bully the thing. I didn’t like that. I’d chase the stray away. Over time the two stopped fighting. Now they mostly get along. Mrs. Curmudgeon “upgraded” his name to “Frenemy”. Frenemy never catches mice either.

I want a third cat like I want higher taxes. Mrs. Curmudgeon is always a few steps ahead of me. She texted “Get a picture.”

It came out of hiding soon enough. A kitten that looks a lot like Frenemy. I’m guessing Frenemy went off and got lucky somewhere. I presume Frenemy abandoned the kittens and wherever the mom-cat lives. He probably wandered off just like any Tomcat would. Much like the lyrics of an old time blues song.

One kitten must have followed him and wound up lost at our place. It climbed up an old ladder I’d leaned against my truck and started fixin’ to make a mess in my truck bed.

There were trash bags in there. The kitten was hungry and very interested. I intervened before it could spread trash everywhere. I sighed…

“It’s a kitten. Probably Frenemy’s genes. I’m making a dump run before it trashes my truck bed.” The kitten scampered away and I rolled out for the county dump.

Mrs. Curmudgeon wasn’t letting me off the hook. “In its defense you left a ladder for it.”

Back home, with the truck properly emptied, I caught another glimpse and snapped a photo. I sent it to Mrs. Curmudgeon. “This is the offender. If it messes up my stuff I’m voting it off the island.”

“He looks hungry. I’ll pick up kitten food on the way home.”

“Wait? What!?!”

So, that happened.

[Warning: I’m all over the place today. I’m cogitating while messing with power tools and it comes out odd. I promise this is the last time I’ll post about old crap from Sears or Montgomery Wards.]

Change comes to us all. All we control is how we react to it.

Not a flake of snow has landed but I already know this winter will be different. (Summer and fall have had their own drama. It has been that kind of year.)

I’m not saying winter will be inherently worse, just different. Diminished health has me on a short leash. I’m improving but may necessarily “take it easy” all winter. Unfortunately, I suck at “relaxing”. I’m prone to “adventure” and will do so if I get half a chance.

The thing is I live where winter is the real deal. It’s merciless. If I don’t carefully monitor myself I risk being a Darwin punchline. It’s bad to wander in barren windswept ice when you’re not in the right physical state for it. (Then again, nothing is impossible. Maybe I’ll heal faster than I’m projecting? If so I’ll finally “camp on the ice”?)

As a distraction, I’m prepping my workshop. I intend it a place to keep me busy (and out of trouble while still nominally inside).

Betsy the woodstove is ready to go. Nothing beats an antique kitchen stove for an inviting environment! It whispers “sit in this rocking chair and relax”. (Maybe I need to build a rocking chair?) I’ve also cleaned/organized some (not all) of the rest of my shit crammed in the single stall workspace.

I hope to lure myself into spending more time puttering around Betsy. Thus, spending less time freezing my ass off in nature.

Planning ahead, I turned my eye toward my least favored power tool. My radial arm saw is from 1973 or so. It runs as it should. It does what it’s supposed to do. It helped me build a whole goddamn sailboat (a very small boat). It has been handy and useful on my homestead for well over a decade. (I do have to recalibrate it every year or so. It occasionally gets out of whack and cuts at 89 degrees.)

Unfortunately, radial arm saws worry me. They’re useable but sketchy; born in a time when “safety” wasn’t the thing it is today. Some of the shit advertised back in the day as “things you can do with the radial arm saw you just purchased” are terrifying! I’m not saying they can’t do all that various shit, only that I’d rather rip with my cheap-ass tablesaw than roll the dice ripping with a table saw.

I’m not the only guy that thinks this. They’re not commonly sold anymore. You can probably only find a new one, if you haunt a specialty fine woodworking venue. (No stores like that anywhere near where I live.)

As far as I can tell, radial arm saws have been replaced with miter saws. Miter saws are said to be “safer” (not that I know from experience).

It turned into almost a superstition. It’s like the saw is just waiting for an opportunity to draw blood. Not that it has drawn blood, only that it wants to. I’m not saying radial arm saws are murder machines (something said incorrectly but often about things like motorcycles and chainsaws… both of which I love to operate). It’s just that some things radiate concern to each individual and the saw does it for me. When your subconscious is telling you something, listen.

Also, I’m not wrong in being careful. Check out old carpenters. Observe how many are missing a finger or two. Pirates on peg legs is a fictional trope, but carpenters with a missing finger is a thing I’ve seen with my own eyes.

Even so, I’ve been dithering for years about buying a miter saw. They ain’t cheap. The radial arm saw has done everything I asked of it. WTF is my problem?

I was locked in analysis paralysis. One day this summer I was talking about miter saws; really just fretting over the cost. My kid, who has wisdom well beyond his years, cut the shit. He listened to me blather over the pros and cons of a new tool and asked the “kill shot” question.

“Which costs more? A miter saw or sewing on a finger at the ER?”

DAAAAAAMN!

Nothing like an external point of view to slap you into action! I got it used and cheap and it served me well, but it had to go. Sometimes you’ve got to park your trusty Studebaker because you want air bags.

I bought a Rigid 12″ dual bevel compound miter saw. It’s overkill. I know that but I occasionally build weird shit. I’m one geodesic dome or another sailboat mast from angles most people would never require. YMMV.

Knowing little about miter saws, I bought one locally at a box store. How does one evaluate a thing which they’ve never used? With uncertainty. I cut the Gordian knot of a question I lack experience to resolve and made a purchase, for better or worse. I made it while I had all ten fingers.

(Warning, Amazon seems pissed off at Rigid. It’ll move heaven and earth to keep you from buying, or even seeing, the saw that I bought. However, if you click the link and buy anything I get a small kickback. The kickback costs you nothing.)

My initial review of the saw is as follows: Wow, it’s a beast! I’ll give more details after I’ve used it for a while.

So you’re thinking I chucked a perfectly good 50+ year old radial arm saw? Nope!

I posted it on Craigslist with a carefully selected price. If I asked for a pittance, some dude strapped for cash might show up and lop off fingers before he even got down the driveway. If I asked too much, I’d have to chuck it. I asked for a middle range hoping to find a skilled woodworker who knew what it could do but ideally was a smart, experienced, geezer who isn’t out of his league messing with the thing.

It happened just like I hoped! I got a call very quickly. The dude showed up and he was just what I was hoping. He almost certainly has forgotten more about woodworking than I’ll ever know. He might have more than one radial arm saw already. He had all ten fingers too! He was delighted over what he considered “a steal”.

I provided not just the saw but the cabinet upon which it was mounted. The tabletop is out of whack. I have to replace it every few years and it’s a pain in the ass. The guy who bought it could probably swap it in an hour. I also included manuals (which I’d never looked at) and a book (which I never read). I threw in a few gadgets for the saw’s more “exotic” abilities. (I’d never used any of that stuff.) Dude got “a barn find”!

I was super happy it went to him. The most important part was that the saw go neither to the dump nor to a n00b who’d get hurt. I sold it for about what I paid for it maybe 15-ish years ago (I forget how long I’ve had it).

You know how they tell kids “we sent the old dog to a farm in the country where it can play and be happy”? I did exactly that for real. I did it for a funky old machine. I’m such a softie.

Pics or it didn’t happen:

July 4th 2026 is coming. This is how it would be in a perfect universe.

Trump and JD Vance perform the following rap duet. It’s a glorious thing.

In the interest of bipartisanship, Trump hands Schumer a microphone mid rap. Schumer flawlessly adds the beatbox track. Nancy Pelosi grabs a microphone and does the panting background. It’s a little skeevy watching an elderly woman pant like a dog but then her husband joins in and everyone just goes with it. Her husband silently does an interpretative dance wearing only underwear while carrying a hammer. He calls it the “gay naked hammer fight shuffle”. The crowd loves it!

There’s an open bar but Trump cheaped out. It serves only boxed wine and Diet Coke. The only food comes from Taco Bell, and it’s cold. This is the only frugal thing that has ever happened in DC.

Hillary tries to drink every box of wine. However, Kamala grabs one of them out of her hands. The two start competing as only angry drunk women can. Oh no! They’re both sloshed and they’re about to come to blows!

Luckily, they find common ground. They join forces to attack AOC; calling her “a basic bitch who needs a lesson”.

AOC isn’t afraid of either drunk geezer and she’s not fucking around. She pulls a knife from a concealed sheath sewn into her cleavage revealing $9,000 dress that says “rich people suck”. She tries to stab Hillary but misses narrowly.

The blade swings wide and nearly skewers Fetterman who was merely standing there looking like a thug in a hoodie. He wails “am I the only one with a functioning brain?”

Millions of Americans, many of whom are livestreaming the event instead of having a real life, agree. An instant poll clocks in at 89% of votes going to: “having a stroke is the clearest sign of mental fitness in DC”. “I’m sure our nation is run by adults” comes in a distant second at 10%. The remaining one percent are divided between several thousand variants of “I’m an FBI plant watching this” and 53 individuals who all specifically replied “I am Sir Robin, the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, who personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill”. The latter causes the NSA to have an aneurysm.

Seeing a knife fight, if a half-assed one, Biden joins the violence. He shouts “fuck off Corn Pop” and then wanders away to take a nap. Bernie Sanders does his part by ineffectively chucking a dinner roll at nobody in particular.

Trump tells everyone to cool it and takes the knife away. A circuit court judge from Hawaii takes the knife from Trump and gives it back to AOC, because stabbing Fetterman is a protected civil liberty either specifically enumerated in the constitution or at least implied by penumbras. AOC meekly promises from now on she’ll only stab people who vote like they need stabbin’. The press reports this is a sign of inter-party unity.

Eventually every member of Congress and the Supreme Court is completely wasted on Bud Light and legal weed. They’ve started a bonfire using a print version of the most recent omnibus bill, a single copy of which requires three dump trucks.

Trump, who doesn’t drink, can’t quite keep up with the festivities but Melania is on her third bottle of champagne; from the private wineries of Trump International, which somehow owns most of France. Fauchi, who was not invited and is technically on the lam in Botswana, appears. He’s crashed the gate by commanding the Secret Service “BOW TO THE SCIENCE”; which somehow actually worked. He explains that if Trump International didn’t make the drink in the correct region of France it’s merely sparkling wine.

Melania throws her incredibly fashionable shoes at Fauchi, who goes scampering off into the underbrush. She starts complaining about “dipshits messing up the landscaping”. Alas, she’s speaking in a foreign language and nobody knows what she’s saying. Trump saves everyone from admitting they never studied language in high school by pointing out the next musical act is ready.

Kid Rock launches into a heavy metal/ grunge band / southern fried rock version of the Star Spangled Banner. It’s so over-amped that the Lincoln Memorial cracks and Lee Greenwood gets an erection from three time zones away. Canada begins to cry at the sight of their southern neighbor going full retard. Mexico cranks Lowrider by War and kicks back to watch their northern neighbor continue to be as retarded as it has always been.

Pete Hegseth whips out an unencrypted cell phone and orders the military to put on “the biggest fireworks display ever”. Teenage boys everywhere forget about AOC’s cleavage and wonder how they can get their hands on Hegseth’s phone.

Dozens of fighter jets and bombers fly by, going thunderously low and in formation. Everyone agrees it was the most awesome thing ever. Then an errant A10 warthog comes by at 1/4 the speed of everything else and strafes a dumpster into oblivion. The crowd goes nuts. Precision high tech flight is nothing compared to “machine gun go brrrrrr”.

Terrified that an obsolete plane which doesn’t bring in much funding is the star of the show, the Pentagon pulls out all the stops. Soon missiles and drones and one top secret thing that looks like the UFO from the X Files are all buzzing around the crowded airspace. Every air traffic controller for miles needs therapy the next day but for once everyone is competent. Well, there is one mistake. The State of Delaware is completely vaporized by an errant missile. However, that just makes the crowd cheer more. Everyone agrees nobody cares about Delaware and the best fireworks are nuclear. Biden is asleep and can’t comment.

Twelve hours later the party is over. Roughly 300,000,000 Americans are hung over. Most of congress won’t sober up for a week. Biden is missing. Fetterman has had another stroke, which everyone agrees will make him “a team player” in the next congressional session.

The Army Corps of Engineers is grudgingly cleaning up the mess. This comes after a stern talking to from Melania, who everyone wants to please. She’s somehow acquired Hegseth’s phone and seems prepared to use it.

Kid Rock wakes up in a sleeping bag. He’s in there with a woman but he’s afraid to look at who it is. He doesn’t know if it’s AOC or Hillary. His head is throbbing and so are other body parts. He can’t face the world yet.

The White House is smoldering. The Supreme Court is collapsed. Guam is capsized.

JD Beams happily. “Now that’s how we partied in hillbilly country!”

The ensuing hangover is a month long window of planetary world peace. France has surrendered. The rest of the EU has gone radio silent. North Korea has opened its borders. Germany has closed its borders. The American government is briefly solvent.

Having witnessed absolute mayhem over what’s basically a birthday party, China and Russia decide to lay low for a while. They have secret phone conversations which are immediately decrypted by the NSA. Some excerpts: “Did you see that shit?” “What the fuck is a Delaware?”

The peace doesn’t last long. Soon everything is back to normal. The government is haphazardly spending money that doesn’t exist and the people are bitching that they want more. Congress is debating the “trans-sexual, one legged, albino, kittens and puppies act”. This somehow includes funding an aircraft carrier group, a solid gold mansion for individuals who’s names are classified, and mandatory a cappella singing lessons for every 5th grader in the Nation.

Everyone is pissed off at everyone; just as we’re accustomed to. Trump and Melania witness the nation returning to stupid divisive matters and hug, the kids are going to be alright.

The sole exception is Bernie’s Sanders, Cash Patel, and Ron DeSantis. Those three have had a joint shared catharsis. Sanders now has a tattoo of a cash register in his ass. Cash Patel has a similar styled Karl Marx tattooed on his ass. This came about due to a game of “chicken”. Nobody knows what’s tattooed on DeSantis and he ain’t saying.

The three jointly buy Epstein’s Island, move there, raze all the buildings, and start planting organic garlic for sale on eBay. They build three huts in which to live. Sanders’ hut is made of straw. Patel’s hut is made of sticks. DeSantis’ hut is, inexplicably, made of titanium.

Kid Rock is still trapped in the sleeping bag.

[I finally “fixed” some technical issues. In keeping with “pics or it didn’t happen” I’m adding photos. They should have been in the original post.]

Behold the wheeled tower of milk crates.

From chaos… order! This phot0 is annotated, how awesome is that? I’d already sorted into single cups, double cups, and cups with Milwaukee “add-ons”. Then I added cups with 3d printed “add-ons”. I think my add-ons look way cooler because of a completely unplanned two tone effect. It’s easy to start navel gazing about whether simple PLA is adequate or one needs the tougher PETG. But lets not go too far in the weeds; it started in coffee cans and plastic baggies. (Incidentally, I spent way too much time trying to draw arrows in GIMP and they still suck. Drawing arrows in GIMP is like crop dusting with a B52.)

Donor plexiglass. It might be 30 years old or more.

Marking and cutting. The white stuff is paint left over from when it was painted as part of a rotting garage door.

I think it looks pretty slick.

This tool is about the handiest thing ever. It’s usually used for “post-processing” 3d prints. The blade is replaceable and on a swivel. I had to look it up, it’s called a “deburring tool“.

Whatever it is, it works slicker than snot on both 3d prints AND old plexiglass. The one I bought, only a few months ago, is no longer listed in Amazon. The link goes to what looks like the equivalent and appears to cost about the same. I’d hazard a guess it came straight from the same Chinese factory but under a dozen different random corporate names. 

Unfortunately, I broke the blade on my bandsaw. Was it “bad” to cut plexiglass or was it just a 20 year old blade? I have no idea.

It never would have occurred to me that I had the user’s manual at hand. But there it was, in a plastic bag taped to the saw. I’m so old I can remember the following:

• Sears was once a “quality brand”.
• You’d find a Sears at a shopping mall; which were gleaming futuristic places. It was glorious place to be when you’re of the Beavis and Butthead generation. Malls still exist but they’ve gone so far downhill as to seem sketchy and pathetic.
• Craftsman was once good stuff. It was only a few years after this saw was made that I experienced it as a hollowed out nameplate that Sears was slapping on cheap, Walmart level, shit. YMMV. Craftsman lives on, and so does Sears… but they feel like “names” glued on the same shit you’d find on any other Chinese crap. Maybe better than Harbor Freight, maybe worse than Dewalt. However you define it, the enshitification of Sears/Craftsman feels pretty complete by now.

Check it out. I found the receipt. What a piece of history! This is what things were like the very last moments before computers took over everything (you can see some dot matrix print at the top so computers were already “a thing”). Hand written items and prices and stock numbers. A stamp that says “delivered”.

Compared to 2025, it might as well have been written with a quill pen on a rolled up scroll.

What’s this? The dreaded extended warranty!

I observe this all with a bit of nostalgia. I’m using this saw as “nothing special” in a cold drafty workshop. Yet, it’s 37 years old and still going strong. How much of what you’ve purchased in 2025 will be still functioning in 2062?

As if to underscore the awesomeness of a 37 year old machine running fine, I already have it running again. It only took four days for Amazon to deliver a two pack of blades . I’ve never heard of a company called Ayao. it’s probably one of dozens. Regardless, it was cheap, fit correctly, and it cuts wall (I’ve already used it).

What an odd world we inhabit. I have nostalgia for Craftsman of 1988 even as I think their stuff is shit in 2025. I don’t know if the company selling replacement blades, Ayao, is anything other than a database fiction and I don’t care. It may be replaced by Oaya in a fortnight. I’ve no idea if Amazon, a monopolist in 2025 will still exist in 2062.

Maybe I need to buy a Studebaker?

Just as I traversed backcountry trails in Wyoming last year with the unspeakably obsolete idea of paper maps, I mounted the blades with the help of a printed manual. Part of being Gen X is having one foot in two worlds. A modern person is as likely to use a paper manual as a cavemen is to run a blog. (BTW: I needed the manual. Nothing was obvious to me!)

Everything is a success. Total cost? About $8 a blade.

Happy workshop projects y’all.

A.C.

Yesterday I wrote this:

[Note: I took a bunch of photos for this post, but they’re just not uploading. It is what it is.]

Today I dealt with tech support. I know you’re expecting me to bitch about some call center in Bangalore but it was nothing like that. It was all chat. They were quick, efficient, and spot on. Then something went haywire and I called again. They were quick, efficient, and spot on… again.

Probably burned 45 minutes. Probably first time I’ve contacted them in at least a year.

Since I do absolutely no maintenance other than making posts and occasionally backing up that’s not bad. Every now and then I get a flag and click something like “yeah, whatever… upgrade whatever the hell you want… I don’t care about the details… ever”. I never pay more than the minimum attention, which has worked more or less OK on my current hosting service.

I also found out I’d filled my storage capacity to the complete limit. I “solved it” by increasing my storage space. It was more or less the same price I’ve been paying anyway. I think I spent like $4 to go from one level to another. Not $4 a month, which would piss me off, but $4 a year. (In addition to the usual cost which is like $250 a year or so.)

In a way the storage thing feels like “kicking the can down the road”. In another way I’m cool with it. I live in America in 2025 and the government is currently quasi-shutdown. If congress gets to can-kick my entire lifetime, I can drop $4 a year to occupy a virtual hard drive somewhere.

45 minutes maintenance over a year. Sweet! Pray for me it stays that way.

Added because it’s comedy gold:

[Note: I took a bunch of photos for this post, but they’re just not uploading. It is what it is.]

My workshop is too packed to be useful and most winters it’s froze so cold it wouldn’t be useable even if it was empty. This year I’m trying again. I cleared and checked Betsy the stove. Then I cut and stacked a face cord (1/3 of a real cord) of specially selected small diameter, short length “kitchen stove wood”. We’ll see if that helps.

I’m also trying to Tetris/Jenga the place until it’s useable. (I’m also tossing as much stuff as I can bear.)

One small part of this “space efficiency” is re-organizing and getting rid of my stacks of coffee cans full of hardware. All men have between one and a couple dozen coffee cans of stuff. It’s mandatory. The problem is that its inefficient with space. Plus, I can never find what I’m seeking.

Sometimes I walk past a score of coffee cans and drive to the hardware store. I know I’ve got 3/8″ lag bolts or whatever in there, but I’m in no mood to spend hours finding it!

I’ve made a run at this before. A few years ago I “invested” in Milwaukee Packout “Milk Crates“. They’re stupid expensive compared to a regular milk crate but…

HOLY SHIT! I have to interrupt here to mention my link to Amazon. For some inexplicable reason it goes to a non-Milwaukee knock off that costs… I mean it just…

Words fail me!

I have no idea what lunatic is paying a C-note for a knock off milk crate but apparently some exist. They walk among us? I do NOT recommend dropping a hundred bucks on a milk crate. But I do encourage you to check the link, because some things must be seen to be believed. (*If you go to Amazon and buy anything I get a tiny kick back and it costs you nothing. If you’re crazy enough to buy gold plated milk crates have at it. Heck, for a hundred a piece I’ll almost sell you the three I own! I’m sure I paid like $40 or even much less.)

The milk crates (which shouldn’t cost $100!) stack and have clever features. I bought three some time ago. I stacked them and they lock together very well. Then I bought Packout wheels. (Wow, I have no idea what’s going on with Amazon. Did Milwaukee steal their lunch and now Amazon is getting its revenge? Did I pay that much and then have a black out?) The wheels are not cheap but now my stack rolls and it does improve my chances of a workshop that isn’t totally gridlocked. I added a mid-sized Packout toolbox to the bottom of the stack too.

A milk crate isn’t particularly clever. However, Milwaukee includes little “cups” with many of their organizers and I had several on hand. Turns out you can cram 12 “cup units”* in a milk crate… some clever engineer worked hard on that. (* I have no clear way to describe “cup units”. Some cups are rectangles instead of squares meaning it takes double the space. It makes a 3×4 grid… which was perfectly clear in the photos I can’t upload.)

There’s always need for more. Sometime last year I bought special Milwaukee cups that have upper and lower levels and some split their layer in two. Now one cup can store three things without mixing it all up. Be still my beating heart!

Then I realized I’m a big bad 3d printing nerd. So I made cups that split into 2, 3, or 4 cells. At first I was trying to match colors. Then I ran low on filament mid print. I made “two colors for more hardware awesomeness” and it actually looked cooler than the OEM stuff. I even printed a piece in translucent orange, because why not? It looks pretty damn cool too.

So now my milk crate has more or less 12 little storage spaces which I’d changed to roughly 23. Nice. But wait, there’s more!

If you’re nuts like me, you can add a second layer of cups. Now I was up to… who cares I’m not counting… compartments for stuff. That’s a lot of nails, screws, bolts, etc… I spent a while happily sorting the chaos.

But the top layer didn’t rest perfectly on the bottom layer (it’s designed that way but bulky stuff in compartments had a say in the matter). Meanwhile the top layer kept gathering sawdust and such from the messy environment.

I resolved to make a “platform” between the layers, so stacking is smooth. Then copy the platform for the top so it doesn’t get filled with sawdust. I scrounged up some 1/4″ plywood and was about to hack it to bits.

Then I spied a hunk of plexiglass. It was left over from the garage door which had basically rotted away before I replaced it. For some reason I’d kept the plexiglass. It beckoned to me.

Who am I to resist the call of salvaged materials! I cleaned it off and started marking an outline. Having a clear material means I can see (mostly) everything in every cup without even lifting the lid for that layer. Awesome!

I marked it out and decided to use my old bandsaw to cut the plexiglass. Now here’s where maybe I fucked up? I’m not sure if you’re supposed to do something special when cutting plexiglass. It ain’t wood y’all. Anyway I cut through plexiglass whether it was wise or not. I made enough plastic “sawdust” to give Greta Thumberg an aneurism but it came out OK.

The first lid came out perfectly useable, maybe even cool looking (for some definition of cool). I even used a 3d printing tool meant for trimming plastic supports. I ran it around the edge; effectively beveling it so I won’t be scratching my fingers when I lift the lid. Sweet!

I took about a thousand photos, none of which I can upload. Then I started on the second lid. BANG! My bandsaw blade snapped. So I guess it’s a project that’s half done for now.

I’m not too upset about the blade. I got the saw used a zillion years ago. As far as I remember I’ve never swapped the blade. I could be anywhere from 10-20 years old. It’s probably duller than dirt too.

I tore apart my bandsaw and found all sorts of cool “historical artifacts” in there. It was like breaching King Tut’s Tomb. Think about it; how often do you poke around inside your appliances? Anyway, I took more pictures, which I can’t post. So I’ll say “fuck it” and end the story here.

Have a nice day y’all.

I thought “bootstrapping” had three meanings. The first is a statistical method (which I’ve used and like). The second is a software approach (which I haven’t used because I haven’t needed it). The third was related to machines. I thought “bootstrapping” referred to using a machine to make parts for the machine itself. In effect, for some technologies you can build it from itself.

Turns out I’m wrong. I know, you’re shocked right? I was pretty confident in myself, but that third definition doesn’t show up in a cursory search. It’s either obscure or I just plain imagined it.

Regardless, I just um… not-bootstrapped a 3d printer part. I couldn’t be happier.

My Bambulab A1 printer has a tool head. (All 3d printers have a tool head. It’s the thing that zooms around the plate laying down lines of melted filament.) I had to remove the cover to swap what’s called the “hot end”. This is a slick, toolless endeavor.

Dammit! Is today the day of Curmudgeon using words that don’t exist? The ‘net informs me that “toolless” is not a word. I do not defer to the ‘net on this. I shall define “toolless” as a machine adjustment or repair where the machine was built so you don’t need tools to do the job. For example, wingnuts are toolless because you can use your little monkey hands to remove them. Try the same thing on a car’s lug nuts and you’re doomed. There are very good reasons for either approach, but if you need a big honkin’ tire iron your task is definitely not toolless.

I’m getting in the weeds here. The point is you don’t need a tool to pull off the tool head cover or to swap the hot end. I’m happy about that.

However the tool head cover is flimsy and (IMHO) poorly designed. I broke the little plastic tabs that hold it on. This pissed me off. The printer is less than a year old!

I expected the part to be a bitch to obtain and cost triple what it should. What can I say? I’ve been trained by evil corporate shitheads at places like Dodge and Apple. Fixing anything on either of those brands is absolutely miserable.

Bambulab ain’t cheap but they don’t appear to hate their customers (yet?). It took 5 minutes on MakerWorld to find the part. It was $2.99! I can’t complain about that. But I did. I grumbled a little about S&H and then didn’t order it. (I aggregate all my 3d parts and filament purchases into as few orders as possible to reduce the S&H fee.)

I slapped the broken cover back on the tool head (it held) and set the printer to work again. I’m not 100% sure you need the cover at all.

An hour later I had an epiphany. Am I not a clever inventive maker of things? Doesn’t my blog’s name start with “adaptive”? Why the hell would a guy who owns a 3d printer buy anything that’s simple and made of basic plastic!?!

For that matter, if I broke a part a thousand (million?) other nerds have already broken the same part. Nerds are great at sharing information. Surely an appropriate model is floating around the ‘net somewhere.

Boy was that correct! I searched on MakerWorld and there were pages of appropriate models. People are apparently constantly putting new “faces” on their tool head. (OMG, that sounds so dirty!) Some were extreme, like one that was the face of Hell Boy (I’m not sure the actual superhero/villain name, I’m just not that “plugged into” society).

I should also pause to salute Bambulab. Bambulab posted ways to avoid buying a $2.99 part from Bambulab; possibly because they’re not assholes. If there was a way to make a cheap easy aftermarket Dodge part, the Chrysler corporation would scour the earth trying to eliminate it. Actually they do just that thing. As for Apple, they would have soldered shit down so tight that a broken $2.99 part requires you to buy a whole new $500 device. And they’d offer the part itself for $499.50 just to twist the knife.

Back in happy 3d printing land, the hardest part to making an aftermarket replacement was picking one pattern among the dozens Bambulab itself hosted. I picked what I thought of as a striking black and white “scale” pattern. It’s a compromise. It’s 1000% flashier than anything I’d have done myself and 1000% tamer than looking at some weird superhero demon face.

The 3d printer had been working it’s little heart out on an unrelated task while I did all this surfing. As soon as it was done, I loaded my cheapest half used leftover spools of black PLA and white PLA. The slicer said it was something like $0.18 worth of filament. Yes, you read that correctly, less than a quarter.

It jammed out flawlessly with no major input from me. I popped the part off the plate, removed a tiny bit of support, slapped it on the tool head, and was printing again with a newly improved and slightly prettier tool head. I spent more time choosing colors than I did installing the part.

Also… less than a quarter?

Can that be right? I’ll check the slicer cost estimates just to reassure myself. Whatever it cost, it was a pittance.

Dodge and Apple could learn from this. They won’t, but they should.

A.C.

P.S. I’ll post pics if my cell phone (an obsolete iPhone that’s degrading like all Apple products) ever manages to upload the photo.

Pics or it didn’t happen.

Before:

Cover Removed:

New Cover Installed: