The Unstoppable: Brigadier Dennis Rendell

The man in the center of this photo has balls of steel and absolutely no fear.

The man at the center of this photo is an escaped prisoner of war on the run in Italy in 1943.  The men on the left and right are clueless German soldiers.  Let that sink in for a minute.

Brigadier Dennis Rendell’s story is where awesome meets fearless.  Surely one of the ballsiest men to have walked the face of the earth, he not only gets on my list of “The Unstoppable” but he does it with style.

He recently died at 89 and his obituary at Barking Moonbat Early Warning System is well worth the read.

Posted in The Unstoppable | 11 Comments

What We’ve Got Here Is (NOT) A Failure To Communicate

Following the 2010 elections I’ve been enjoying post-election hand wringing on the left. I’m sure they enjoyed hand wringing on the right in 2008.  The universe is filled with balance.

However, there’s nothing mysterious about 2010 any more than 2008 was a mystery.  To claim you don’t understand why the voters acted as they did is to willingly choose misdirection.  Apparently that’s a common desire because left biased post-election explanations often coalesce around “we didn’t communicate well enough”.  Here’s an unremarkable example from USA Today:

…the Obama administration succumbed to an enduring Democratic blunder: talking over the heads of the American people.

…Democratic members of Congress swamped by the great tidal wave of Nov. 2 might be tempted to console themselves with the ironic mantra that “no good deed goes unpunished,” but a good deed needs to be identified as such in the mind of the person on whom it is being conferred.

So there you have the received wisdom of the press.  Us clueless knuckleheads in flyover country didn’t understand the the “good deeds” which Democrats had “conferred” on us.  It was a failure to communicate.  Bad advice!

Nobody has ever gone broke underestimating the Press’ ability to miss the obvious when it suits them, so I’ll spell it out:  The successful challengers in 2010, just like Obama in 2008, won because the politicians formerly in power pissed the people off.  That’s all there is to it.  The tone of voice used while beating us over the head with a two by four wasn’t really the problem.  As a public service I’m asking elected officials from both parties to have my newest Curmudgeonly Gem of Insight tattooed on their ass:

It is not the message.  It is what you do.

What did the Democrats do?  Well I could write a book but it would be a boring one we’ve all just lived through (and it’s not over yet).  So I’ll pick a nice clear example among many.  On Christmas Eve in 2009 Congress finally pulled the trigger and had their health care vote. Reasonable people can agree to disagree about Government controlled health care but nobody can claim that it was a reflection of the true will of the American people.  I’m absolutely sure of it and I’ve got proof.  My proof?  A vote on Christmas Eve.

The last time the Senate held a roll call on Christmas Eve was in 1895.  (They lifted a ban on former Confederate soldiers serving in the Post-Civil war U.S. military.)  What was the reason for the recent historic, first in 114 years, life or death, gotta’ happen now on Christmas Eve vote?  World War I?  World War II?  The Wall Street Crash of 1929?  Nope.  It was a health care vote during a brief window of time when the Democrats had a solid majority.

There’s no bullshitting the people.  Congress pulled out all the stops to do something they couldn’t normally do.  You shouldn’t do what can only be accomplished by dirty politics.  Which leads to my second Curmudgeonly Gem Of Insight for today:

If you shouldn’t do it; don’t.

A mere 321 calendar days later the Democrats got a world class electoral ass kicking.

To be clear I’m not singling out Democrats.  It’s only fair that I hammer the Republicans so here goes with a nice bedtime story from Wikipedia:

On March 21, [2005] Congress passed a bill, S.686, that allowed Schiavo’s case to be moved into a federal court. The controversial law is colloquially known as the Palm Sunday Compromise. It passed the Senate on Sunday afternoon unanimously, 3-0, with 97 of 100 Senators not present. Meanwhile, in the House of Representatives, deliberation ran from 9pm EST to just past midnight during an unusual Sunday session. The bill was passed 203-58 (156 Republicans and 47 Democrats in favor, 5 Republicans and 53 Democrats against), with 174 Representatives (74 Republicans and 100 Democrats) not present on the floor at the time of the vote at 12:41 a.m. EST. President Bush returned from vacation in Crawford, Texas to sign the bill into law at 1:11 that morning. (Emphasis added)

Did you get that?  A Senate vote of 3.  On a Sunday.  (I applaud the other 97 Senators for  behaving like civilized human beings and not running amok with gavels.)  This was followed by an “unusual” House vote at 12:41 am.  The president flew in from vacation to sign a bill at 1:11 am on a Monday morning.

Like Government controlled health care, the Terry Schiavo case can cause reasonable people to reasonably disagree.  However, three yo-yo’s in a room does not a Senate debate make.  (The Senate should never vote with fewer people than I can fit in a fishing boat!) A House vote at 12:41 am is shady at best.  And I’m a firm believer that the president should never sign anything at 1:00 am in the morning unless there’s a mushroom cloud over somewhere all Americans can immediately locate on a map.

It was dirty politics.  It was wrong.  Impassioned people may debate that it was a good thing but the deliberative bodies of our Nation should never ever be cooking the books after midnight on a weekend just for one parties pet cause.  It was one of many little things that paved the way for Obama to hammer McCain like a bent nail in 2008.  It is also one of the things that has the Tea Party crowd ready to drop the guillotine on the new Republicans that just got elected.

Why am I saying this?  Because I live here.  This is my goddamned Nation.  This is where I park my car.  It’s where I’m raising my child.  It’s where I keep all my stuff.  I love America and I want it to continue to thrive as the beacon of freedom and prosperity it was meant to be.  That means I want good governance.  I do not want Republican hegemony any more than I want Al Gore to regulate my lightbulbs.  I want two (or more) intelligent parties in constant competition trying to govern as well as possible.  (I also want a pony.)

When either party starts voting on something at midnight it’s bad news.  When they do something on a weekend and only after the press cycle will bury the story it’s dishonest.  When they tinker with voting counts, Gerrymander, collude and scheme my Nation takes it in the shorts.  I’m not cool with that.  The Republicans have a brief period of time to demonstrate they can actually govern.  The Democrats just got a solid hammering for demonstrating their failure in that respect.

Americans need at least two parties in competition to be the best.  Right now neither party is doing their best to govern.  We can and have dumped one or more parties forever.  Americans are adaptive.  Don’t fuck with us or you’ll wind up a footnote in a history text.  Our two party system started with Federalists versus Republicans.  Seen a Federalist lately?  (Perhaps they’re in disguise as Tea Partiers?)  Then it was Democrats versus Whigs.  Seen a Whig lately?  When all hell broke loose around slavery Republicans took center stage again.  (Lincoln…might have heard of him?)  Democrats and Republicans are what’s left among several parties that have dried up and faded away.  They’re both looking tired and disreputable.  Both would be well advised to straighten up and fly right.

Just as I don’t pine for a Studebaker when I’m driving my Honda, I don’t pine for a Whig or Bull Moose when I’m reading the morning news.  If my Honda craps out I’ll shift to a Ford or a Toyota.  If neither the Democrats nor the Republicans can steer thought the debt surrounding Baby Boomer’s retirement, they’ll be toast.  Given their collective lack of restraint over the last several decades, we wont miss them.

Posted in Curmudgeonly Gems of Insight, Harangue-a-bang-bang! | 1 Comment

Gone Huntin’

“Ah, sir, you dwellers in the city cannot enter into the feelings of the hunter.”

That’s the quote that popped into my head this morning while I was out hunting.  Curmudgeons hunt.

I had to put it front and center because it’s so delicious.  Anyone who can tell me the source (in comments) gets a Curmudgeonly gold star.

I have a great deal to say on the subject of hunting but I’ll defer it to a later date.  A pleasant morning filled with nature’s beauty does not motivate one to stay inside hammering text into a computer.

Posted in Hunting With The Curmudgeon | Leave a comment

The Boss Wants You Out Of Town: Pack Your Bags

Suppose you’re a political figure who came darned close to winning the party nomination for presidential candidate in 2008.

You cannot defeat me! Never never never....

Suppose the guy who narrowly won wanted to keep you on a tight leash and in plain sight.  If he doesn’t you’ll spend the next four years plotting his political demise. Congratulations, you’re the Secretary of State!  It is now your job to agree with everything the president says.  Smile.  Go to lots of meetings.  Never dis the boss.  Suck it up loser.

I keep Hillary under control...with the power of my focused smug ray.

Suppose you’re so polarizing and hated in certain parts of redneck flyover country that people reach for pitchforks and torches at the mention of your name.

We're going to telegraph our representative. President Hoover has just gone too far with the balderdashery and it's affecting morale at the annual turnip festival.

Suppose you’re the president and you’ve got this albatross around your neck just as citizens go to the polls to give your party a historical “shellacking”.

Momma said there would be days lke this.

What would you do with a liability like that at such a crucial time?  I suppose a tinfoil hat theorist might suggest the president look a the globe and pick the farthest point on planet earth from anywhere newsworthy at all.  And so it came to be that Hillary spent election day in Tonga.

When a person is placed in exile, frustration can affect their moods. In certain extreme situations steam actually vents from the afflicted person's ears.

Now for the funny part.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary R. Clinton yesterday congratulated the island kingdom of Tonga on 40 years of independence. The only problem is that Tonga never really lost its independence.

I’m sure Hillary would have known better if she’d been paying attention.  Although I’m not a fan of Hillary I’ll admit she’s usually highly professional.  I wonder what was distracting her from her important mission to Tonga on November, 11th?

Note: The volcano really was in Tonga…actually near it…the link says (and I’m not making this up) ‘No Living Thing Left’ as Tonga Volcano Erupts. Sadly it didn’t coincide with Hillary’s arrival for a more perfect punchline.

Posted in Harangue-a-bang-bang! | Leave a comment

Congratulations Citizens!

Something amazing happened yesterday. Something so sublime, so beautiful, so completely infused with import that it should take your breath away. Do not let that astounding event go unnoticed.

A Republican sweep? Not a chance! That will be soon forgotten. The amazing miracle we just witnessed is a nationwide series of hotly contested elections. They were executed successfully among peacefully cooperating citizens. Their decisions will be final. The most powerful nation on planet earth shifted it’s government entirely because citizens voted. Nanci Pelosi didn’t hole up in a bunker fondling her majority speaker’s gavel. The Nation’s President and Commander In Chief had a sleepless night and the next morning got in front of us all and said “Yes, indeed, I’ve been shellacked”.  People as different as Rand Paul and once and future Governor Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown stepped into power. Incumbents who lost stepped aside.

This, like the rising of the morning sun, is a miracle. Enjoy it.

Any free society is always at risk of collapse. Dependence and weakness can erode self reliance and strength. Debt can and has incrementally tightened the noose. There is never a time when free citizens are not either guarding their freedoms or slowly losing them. A people can always devolve from citizens to subjects. It has happened before and it will happen again. To some extent that insidious process has taken root even here. Fortunately it hasn’t gone too far yet. Nothing is written in stone. The future is entirely up for grabs. Nobody on earth truly knew the election results before the ballots were counted.

We are still a republic of free, self-determining, citizens who can and do send politicians to Washington and/or kick them to the curb at our will. Elections matter. We, the people, just proved it.

When some unimportant yahoo in flyover country can drive a rusty Subaru to the polls and stand in a little box deciding who shall be in power a thousand miles away simply because he’s a citizen…that is a powerful event. We can vote for morons or great leaders. We can make informed deliberations or vote for the candidate with the hottest wife. Either way people who’ve spent their whole life aggregating power can do nothing but accept whatever we and a plurality of our peers decide.

Win or lose, every time you vote in a free election you have witnessed a miracle. Congratulations citizens.

Posted in Libertarian Outpost, We Are Not Alone | Leave a comment

Math Is Hard

I have a background (and interest) in statistics and econometrics.  I know what you’re thinking but it’s not contagious so relax.  No need to stampede for the doors or disinfect your computer.  Imagined visions of sweaty pallid socially awkward losers dithering away with calculators and hunched over charts is terrifying but I won’t go far down the rabbit hole.

Homer Simpson, pictured above, demonstrates that not all people who are skilled in math are underfed wimps. We applaud Mr. Simpson for expanding the realm of mathematics to the "drunken lout" sector of the economy..

Like it or not, math is the tool of choice if you’re going to talk about little slips of green paper folks have come to associate with wealth.  More to the point, you can’t look at proposed new taxes or regulations and say “it’ll be just like now except…”.  It won’t.  Taxes and other effects are anticipated far upstream in time and you can easily wind up with a different future which simply doesn’t have what we take for granted in our current conditions.  It’s not easy to explain but some things will simply not exist (or exist less) because incentives/constraints like taxes (and other things) change their creation.  Neither the government nor anyone else can take what hasn’t been produced…no matter how hard they try.

Alas it’s not a simple concept and it makes me sound like a pinhead when I try to discuss it.  (I usually sound like a bunker dwelling paranoid lunatic too but I’m ok with that, really.)

Recently I stumbled across a neat little explanation of the Deadweight Loss caused by taxes.  If I’d tried to explain it I’d have gone on for hours and created a crater in the reader’s brain.  This guy wisely wrote all you need to know in 170 words.  Such a nice clean approachable explanation deserves a medal.  All I can do is shamelessly link and say…”yeah that’s what I’ve been trying to say.”

Imagine that you want to go to New York on a trip.  You value the trip at $50 and a bus ticket costs $40.  Do you take the trip?

A. Yes.  The value ($50) of the trip exceeds the cost of the ticket ($40) so you travel to New York.

How much consumer surplus (net value) do you get from the trip?

A. $10=$50-$40.

The government taxes bus tickets which raises the price of a bus ticket to $60.  Do you take the trip?

A. No. The value of the trip is now less than the price of the ticket.

What happened to the $10 consumer surplus which you used to get when there was no tax?

A. It’s gone since no trip takes place.

Did the government get any tax revenue from you?

A. No.

Conclusion: Deadweight loss is the value of the trips (trades) which do not happen because of the tax.

(Emphasis added by your’s truly.)

There’s more at Marginal Revolution. I encourage you to check it out.

Posted in For Your Education | Leave a comment

The Tyranny Of Hanging Chads

I was in my bunker living room last night discussing this year’s craptacular electioneering with some random fool Dr. Mingo when he made an excellent prognostication.

The 2010 election cycle will have no fewer than three races which “go into overtime”.

Dr. Mingo is correct.  Even the number seems about right.

Dr. Mingo and his staff statistician (seen behind him) agree that the number of the counting shall be three.

I concur that at least three national races will go into recounts.  This will include the usual ugly horseshit where chicken entrails and voodoo ritual will be used to determine “voter intent” on boxes of missing ballots discovered in the trunk of a parked Lincoln abandoned in Chicago.  They’ll be incorrectly translated into Swahili and signed by minor homeless illegal aliens without ID who were trucked across state lines by ACORN.

Both Dr. Mingo and myself note that each time the same ballots are counted, supporters of the Evil Party gain votes over the tally recorded for the Stupid Party.  I loathe biased recounts.  Winning, even in elections, is not everything.  Tinkering with rules to make a loss into a win is…here’s a word rarely used these days…wrong.

Nor do I care about a voter’s “intent “.  What a person put on a ballot is what they put on the ballot.  If you checked the box for Stalin and really wanted Pol Pot…tough shit.  Nor do I care if you disenfranchised yourself.  If you didn’t go to the polls, lack the ability to prove who you are, can’t spell your own name, peed on the ballot, or inexplicably stabbed yourself with a pencil while trying to vote; you lost out.  You blew it.  Come back in the next election and try again.  This is important…I don’t care about your intent; I care about what you actually did.

Recent biased recounts erode essential faith in our system of governance.  Further, the more biased the recount the greater the chances for deception, misdirection, vice, obnoxiousness, and asshattery.

Math is hard.

Posted in Harangue-a-bang-bang! | Leave a comment

A Political Party For “Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss” Blues

I’m going to vote this year with all the joy of a condemned man forced to get a root canal en route to a firing squad…who’s just been kicked in the balls…while being chewed by marmots…in the cold pouring rain.  Actually I’m a little less optimistic than that.  Politics since 2008 has been a devolution of the usual “glass is half empty” to the Obama-based “the glass is shoved up my ass”.  Nor have Republican candidates spewing steaming heaps of platitudinous fail improved my attitude.

Why?  I loathe Obama and his gang of reality challenged miscreants but the minute voters hand them their ass on a silver plate Republican “reformers” will turn to jelly.  Don’t believe me?  I’ve got one word for you.  1994.  (If that doesn’t ring a bell you can Google “Contract With America” and tell me what the first part was.  Hint: Republicans used to talk about balanced budgets but only in the period between when Reagan was blasting money into space and Bush W. spent money like expanding debt was a direct order from God.)

I can pretty much lay out the time line of betrayal.  In 2010 the Republicans will make gains because any vertebrate with a pulse has a mild chance to beat an incumbent this year.  They will tell us they love us and promise they’ll respect us in the morning.  By 2012 either the Republicans will have promised everything but free puppies and a bag of gold for every voter or Obama’s teleprompter will win anyway and continue flushing invented money down the crapper like we actually had it.  Either way we’re fiscally fucked.

That’s all you need to know.  Neither party has any intention of actually governing in the real world.  (For example, right now the Government is running on an “emergency continuing resolution” because normal people manage their budgets come hell or high water but D.C. leaves the boring work to magic leprechauns and hope while they posture in front of mirrors.  That, my friends, is not governance but the absence of it.)

Luckily there’s a new third party out there positioning for 2012.  Not the Tea Party silly (I wish them well but they’re probably doomed).  The “Stay Off My Lawn Party” from MArooned is what caught my eye.

The “Stay Off My Lawn” Party will be socially liberal – people should be free to do what they wish to their own bodies as long as they don’t hurt others. You want to smoke dope, marry another dude, or light yourself on fire as a tribute to Chthulu, go right ahead. As long as your actions do not harm any other person, knock yourself out (literally, if that’s your bag). However… The flip side to this is that if your actions cause harm to another person, we’re going to drop the jail on top of you and leave it there.

“Stay Off My Lawn” works with fiscal issues as well. The government is not, should not, cannot be in the business of providing everyone with everything. Period.

Internationally, “Stay Off My Lawn” fits seamlessly as encapsulated by Agent J in “Men In Black”: If you don’t start none, there won’t be none.

The party will be overwhelmingly guided by that ancient and mystical document known as the US Constitution and Bill of Rights

So there you have it.  “Stay off my lawn” has my vote for 2012 when the other two (and sadly the Tea Party as well) have self-immolated.

I humbly submit that we pursue Clint Eastwood to be our chief public relations officer.  This should be on the poster:

The "Stay Off My Lawn" Party goals should be communicated with simple visual aids.

Also, anyone who wants something for “free” from the government should be faced with this look:

Fiscal horseshit should be dealt with immediately and brutally by angry men with constipated looks.

Since it’s his idea.  I think we should form the party and beg MArooned author Jay G to do the work while Clint runs around scaring children.  Perhaps an extraction team will be needed to get the future president out of the occupied territory of Massachusetts but it’ll be worth it.

(Note: Jay G. has no idea who I am or why I’m linking to his satirical party.  But I’ll buy him a free beer when he’s president.)

Posted in Get Off My Lawn Loser, Harangue-a-bang-bang!, We Are Not Alone | Leave a comment

Ever The Optimist I Encourage Everyone To Vote: As A Resident Of Reality I Expect Nothing Good

Neanderpundit candidly sums up the likelihood of election 2010 bringing good governance and sound council to the quagmire in D.C.  When it comes to this topic, any post that can use the word dogshit twice in one sentence has my complete support.  Money quote:

Until we begin to cut the food supply to this gigantic parasite we will not be free of it, ever.

Click on over to the rest here.  I should have done so long ago but I’ve finally added Neanderpundit to my blogroll.  I should be beaten with a clue-by-four for not blogrolling him sooner.

Posted in Harangue-a-bang-bang! | Leave a comment

I Have Defeated The Cat Mafia

Catch mice or die!!!

As I’ve mentioned before, the cat supply is brutally monopolized by a shadowy nefarious group of organizations headed by Bob Barker.  Their evil plan is to make innocent Curmudgeons like me pay for kittens…which everyone knows should be free.  If you’re too lazy to click the link I’ll summarize here:

1. I refuse to pay for a goddamned cat.

2. Humane societies of various nomenclature have goddamn cats but charge (dare I say “extort”) money for the little critters.  Goddamit!.

3. Bob Barker is probably the cause of everything.

My kid and wife eagerly awaited my Curmudgeonly self to accept the inevitable and buy a cat.  When I patiently and wisely waited for a convenient kitten to turn up everyone congratulated me on our savings.  Just kidding.  Instead my wife turned up free kittens on craigslist that were quite a distance away and my kid turned giant moon eyes on me.  He made the argument that no kitten on planet earth would do save one we could get immediately and if we waited another second the terrorists would win.  The same arguments were used to explain why  the last round of weapons inspections in Saddam’s Iraq weren’t worth the wait.

I caved and quit working on various urgent homestead projects only after denial followed by bargaining followed by acceptance.  We drove approximately 2,354 miles to pick up a kitten while I mentally catalogued the wasted time.  Did I say one kitten?  I meant to say two.  My kid knows how to press an advantage.

So Fort Curmudgeon has two mousinators in training.  I’m happy because:

1. My kid is happy.

2. Kittens are cute.

3. I circumvented Bob Barker…a feeling that’s priceless.

Just for the record, kittens are pure concentrated cute and when my kid is giggling over them I’m pretty much doomed to resist.  I know that eventually the little darlings will be shitting in my shoe and eating me out of house and home while mice run rampant.  As for the cost of gas and travel?  All I can say is that freedom is not free and someone had to take a stand against Barker’s Imperial Empire.

Posted in Libertarian Outpost, Nanny State Moralizers | 1 Comment