Adaptive Curmudgeon

Boomberg’s pet health board has approved the Soda Ban.  Somehow I’m not surprised.  However I found something even more interesting than Bloomberg’s galactic nanny state ego.  Check out the very first line of the article:

Seeking to reduce runaway obesity rates, the New York City Board of Health on Thursday approved a ban on the sale of large sodas and other sugary drinks at restaurants, street carts and movie theaters, the first restriction of its kind in the country.

That’s interesting because I grew up in a foreign country called America.  I was taught that there are three branches of government; legislative (which make the laws), executive (which enforces the laws), and judicial (which interprets the laws).  Most state governments follow suit and the concept is supposed to trickle all the way down to little insignificant  jurisdictions like Bloomberg’s playpen.

The funny thing is that I don’t recall ever hearing about the fourth and unstoppable branch of government called the Board of Health.  I’m pretty sure I’d have remembered Board of Health if they had Constitutional (or State) authority over what I eat for lunch.

I guess it just goes to show; we have empirical evidence that the people who live in New York City are lardasses and lesser beings who cannot think clearly enough to feed themselves.  It’s a wonder they’re allowed to walk the streets lest they get lost and start crying.  Kudos to the unelected Board of Health for controlling the subjects of Gotham as they mismanage their little childlike lives.  Also to King Bloomberg for improvising when the voluntary actions of free citizens might hinder his unquestionably superior world view.

We hold these truths to be self… What? They’re drinking LARGE sodas? Screw that! Forget the Revolution and have the King’s Health Board and straighten this shit out!

I already mentioned this in June:

• Soda Ban Response
• Soda Ban Response II

Hat tip to Days of our Trailers.

P.S.  The City of New York is in debt for $73.5 Billion or $8,763 per New Yorker.  Nothing to see here.  Move along.

A recent post (Free Gas Versus Free Phone) is still resonating in my head.  I have another thought about the Obamaphone lady.

You may recall the kerfluffle when Mitt Romney said that 47% of the electorate simply wouldn’t vote for a Republican.  The press went apeshit about “the gaffe” while many of us thought it was simply a statistic (and one likely to be true).

Consider this money quote from the Obamaphone lady: “Romney, he sucks! Bad!” It sounds like she’s got her mind made up about whom she’ll vote for.

Only an idiot would coach Romney to reach out to this woman.  He doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell to win her vote and everyone knows it.  Yet, Mitt’s decision not to chase her vote caused the press to deconstruct his campaign as “failing”, label his words “a gaffe”, and demand an apology.

I can’t get the Obamaphone lady out of my head so I did a little research.  I found a website with some answers.  There might be more details (and there are 38 assorted State programs too) but at least I got a crude outline of what’s going on.  Mostly I discovered that this is not an urban legend and (by my math) 4% of American’s are on the cell phone dole.

4% of Americans get a free cell phone!

Let me repeat myself because it freaks me out.  4% of Americans get free cell phones.  Nobody directly reports that statistic so I resorted to the arcane black magic they used to teach in school; math.  The census bureau says there are 311,591,917 Americans.  The web site says there are 12,500,000 recipients of cell phones.  Thus 12,500,000 / 311,591,917 = 4%.  I did not know that 4% of Americans get free cell phones.  Did you?

I’ve got a plan for the next time someone bitches at me about politics because I’m a rich, privileged, wanker who can’t understand their special grievance and the ninth level of hell that is being so broke you can’t afford the iPhone 5.  I’m going to ask if their cell phone is a “free” government “Obamaphone”.  If it is I’m going to scream “I am the 96%” and kick them in the balls.  I suppose then I’ll have to set up a tent in front of a bank and play bongo drums?  I really haven’t thought out the next step…

Here are more facts to ponder:

• Yes, you can get a free cell phone.  Well you can’t and I can’t.  But there are people who do get “free” cell phones.
• The “free” phone comes with 250 minutes per month.
• The “free” phone comes from the government.  The site refers to a “FCC-mandated, government-sponsored program, called LifeLine Assistance”.
• 12,500,000 Americans get “free” cell phones.  There are 311,000,000 Americans.  Thus 4% of the population is getting a free phone.
  
• It’s technically not an “Obamaphone”.  The web site seems particularly upset with this.  “It’s been commonly called the ‘Obama phone’ but that’s an urban legend as free cell phones were added under the Bush Administration.”
• The free phone isn’t a junky one.  “A free governmentl [their misspelling, not mine] phone isn’t a cheap wireless phone or a discounted model. These are recent model, fully featured cell phones, backed by prominent mobile phone companies. You won’t get an iPhone, Android or Blackberry, but you’ll get a basic, modern phone.”  Wouldn’t that suck?  Getting a free phone and finding out it wasn’t a recent model?  Of course my phone is nearly a decade old and it was the cheapest out there when it was made.  Then again  people who get free stuff  probably wouldn’t want to stoop to the cheesy old TracFone that I use (and pay for).  Not that I’m bitter…
• It’s not a “tax” (like Obamacare) it’s a “fee”.  “Everyone who owns a telephone pays. A few cents is tacked on to every phone bill every month. It’s listed on those bills as the Universal Service Fund. All those pennies are put into a program called LifeLine to bring quality telephone service to every American.”  I only added the Obamacare thing because they started it.  They spin it with “a few cents” and “pennies” so I added my opinion.  Why?  Because it’s my blog; posted via my phone service (which has a Universal Service Fund “few cents” tacked on every bill) so I will spin it anyway I want.  (Note: I am pleased that folks who really go off grid, such as the Amish, aren’t paying it though taxes.  That’s cool.)

[Warning political ramblings: feel free to tune out for a while and come back when I’m under hawk attack again]

Back in 2008 I watched a video with Peggy Joseph.  In 2011 I revisited it with How’s That Working Out For Ya? I posted the video below for comparison.  She seemed like an earnest young woman who was sincere in her belief that Obama could make everything better.  She hadn’t drank the kool-aid, she was steeped in it.  She was sure that, should Obama be elected, she wouldn’t have to worry about buying gas or paying her mortgage.  Money quote: “If I help him, he’s gonna’ help me.”  Check it out:

At the time I felt like we’d hit rock bottom.  Here was a woman who thought the president was going to solve all her problems, tuck her in to bed at night, and possibly walk on water.  Where do you go from there?

Now I know.  For 2012 we go from free gas to free Obamaphones.  The new money quote: “Keep Obama in president…” Watch it below:

Holy cow!  I can’t help marvelling at the verbal train wreck.  The visual takes away from the beauty of her words so I added a transcript:

[Obamaphone Lady] Obama!

[Reporter] You got an Obama phone?

[Obamaphone Lady] Yes! Everybody in Cleveland, low minorities, got Obama phone. Keep Obama in president, you know? He gave us a phone!

[Reporter] He gave you a phone?

[Obamaphone Lady] He gonna do more!

[Reporter] How did he give you a phone?

[Obamaphone Lady] You sign up. If you’re… If you on food stamps, you on Social Security, you got low income, you disability…

[Reporter] Okay, what’s wrong with Romney, again?

[Obamaphone Lady] Romney, he sucks! Bad!

One could be upset.  One could look at this and think we’re screwed as a nation.  I see it as fascinating.  It describes a world so very far away from anything I can imagine.  All I can think is; “here is someone who can’t create a sentence“.   For the most part I thought everyone could form a sentence.  A child can say “I see the dog running.”  Compare this to “Keep Obama in president, you know?” and “If you on food stamps, you on Social Security, you got low income, you disability.”  

There are people that say things like “you disability“?  I tend to forget this.

Lets explore something else.  The 2008 video of Peggy Joseph felt like rock bottom but it was a shining beacon compared to “Obamaphone lady”.  Consider Peggy:

• She could speak in complete sentences!
• She had made a deliberate decision about her kid’s education.  (She took her child out of school to attend a political rally.)  I might not select a political rally as “educational” but it’s an idea with merit.  Any mother who’ll provide her kid with educational events beyond the confines of a school is doing a good thing.
• She had a car.  (How else could she look forward to Obama releasing her from the worry of buying gas?)  I assume she can drive too.  There’s even a likelihood that she has a job?
• She had a house.  (How else could she look forward to Obama releasing her from the worry of paying a mortgage?)  This is another hint that she has a job.

It just goes to show that whenever you think you’ve hit the lowest ebb, there’s farther to fall.  Best to enjoy what you’ve got.  For example, Peggy seems like a truly nice person and her 2012 analogue seems like a disaster.  I miss Peggy.

A.C.

P.S. I realize that in any population there are the outliers.  Presumably there’s a video somewhere of knuckle dragging morons who are Romney supporters.  I just haven’t seen it.

I’m avoiding most political media.  Why?  Because it’s election season with a D in the office and Bullshit, when concentrated in unacceptably high levels, is bad for your health.

That’s why I deliberately scheduled something more pleasant (a proctology exam) during the time I could have been watching the Presidential debates on TV.  That said; I can’t help peeking at reports in the aftermath.  I expected Mitt to collapse in a black hole of boredom and The O to perform a soliloquy from Hamlet that moved Jim Lerher to tears.  Instead Mitt swung for the bleachers and Obama wiffed his turn at the plate.  Competence, when you least expect it, is a ray of sunshine.  I love surprises like that.

Unwilling to actually watch the show I still assumed Obama was mediocre and Mitt merely eeked out a minimally superior performance.  Apparently I was wrong.  I saw Joel’s link to Al Gore explaining what happened.  Go watch it.  (Read the rest of Ultimate Answer to Kings while you’re there.)  The esteemed high priest of environmentalism maintains the following:

• Obama “lost” the debates because he didn’t have time to acclimate to Denver’s altitude.

Oh.  Wow.  That’s not an excuse; it’s a cry for help.

There’s nothing quite so creepy as hearing “the dog ate my homework” excuses for the President.  I’m also not sure which is worse; Al Gore’s idea that Obama couldn’t hack the altitude or Al Gore’s corollary that he was so colossally ignorant of his own weaknesses that he didn’t plan ahead for  altitude.

I have personally flown in from sea level, stepped off a plane in Denver, and made a presentation within a couple of hours.  It does suck but if that’s your job then you do it!  If you’re feeling low or tired or hungover or jet lagged you still have to get up there and to your thing.  If your laptop was seized by the TSA, your Powerpoint was deleted by aliens, you’ve just been routed through six airports, you’ve eaten nothing but peanut dust all day, and you sat next to six sick children and a fat smelly jerk who farted all through the flight?  No excuses; keep soldiering on.  When you land in Denver you do what everyone in that situation does, pop a couple Advil, slam as much coffee as you can keep down, then get out there and rock out.  A knuckle dragging blogger can do it and I expect no less from the Commander in Chief.

I’d no more think of blaming the altitude for a bad showing in Denver than I’d think of giving Al Gore a lapdance.  Pros don’t make excuses.

A.C.

P.S.  None of this should make anyone think it’s in the bag for Mitt.  I like playing betting games but this one has me stumped. It’s either a squeaker for Obama or a landslide for Mitt.  Mitt will not win by a hair.  For him, it’s all or nothing.   Don’t let prognosticators fool you.  In this election nobody else knows the answer either.  It’s good to know our elections are still contested and not merely coronations.

As always, Tam at View From The Porch, nails it. Has there ever been a better paragraph than this:

When unemployment pays almost as much as the available jobs, work is disincentivized. Remember: If you want less of something, like tobacco or income, tax it. If you want more of something, like tobacco or unemployment, subsidize it. (And if you want proof that our government is crazy, roll those two sentences around in your head for awhile…)

Hat tip to The Whited Sepulchre for the initial story.

I read up on the 2012 Zero S ZF9 electric motorcycle (including a little blurb at Popular Mechanics and the companies web page).  Then I compared it to the Chevy Volt.  Finally I bumped into the less ready for prime time Lightning Motorcycle. (I’m not sure I consider this a “ready to buy today” vehicle so I’d take it with a grain of salt but I included it anyway because… it’s my damn blog.) I made this handy chart:

There you have it. For the money you’d flush on a Volt you can buy an electric motorcycle for a fun daily commute and have cash to spare for a new Honda Fit for when it rains. Or you can buy a quasi experimental racing machine that’ll go fast enough to detach your spleen. Given such wonderful choices, who would limp around in a (discontinued) sad sack Volt?