Category Archives: Uncategorized

I have been informed that the object that did such an excellent job trashing my thumb (or at least setting the stage for mayhem) is a “quicklink”. Looks innocent doesn’t it?  Hardly any rust right? I’m going to hurl it … Continue reading →

I’ve been “fighting” a cold. (“Fighting” being a euphemism for “getting my ass kicked”.) Like all red blooded men, I approached the situation with denial. It’s in the guy manual. “Bah! I’m not that bad. A half gallon of coffee … Continue reading →

While checking out the vegan strip club quandary I crossed paths with Exhibit B. Exhibit B is a video of a man dressed in a kilt and Darth Vader outfit, on a unicycle, playing bagpipes, that shoot flames. I’m not one to discount the imaginative of humanity. This is truly something unique. Only Portland would create such an entity. Which is why I never turn my back on either the Pacific or Portland. Continue reading →

First of all let me start by saying that it sucks whenever anyone who is willing and able to work gets sent home through no fault of their own.  Bob Smith who does accounting at the WallaWalla Department of Agricultural … Continue reading →

Remember those word problems you hated when you were in school. We suck it up buttercup because that shit’s for real! Continue reading →

“Are you sure?” I asked. “Nobody will think less of you if you back out.” I added. By offering him the chance to bail out I felt he’d volunteered for whatever came next. Should he damage my truck I’d feel morally justified dismembering him with a tire iron. (In certain states I believe this is actually written into law under the “he messed with my truck” clause.) Continue reading →

The folks who stood down and let veterans (citizens!) into their monument did the right thing. All up and down the chain of command, once they realized what was happening, people did the right thing. Nobody handcuffed grandpa or fired tear gas, no guns cleared leather, nobody did anything rash. The whole thing was resolved in an unexpected outbreak of common sense. America rocks! Continue reading →

Like the sodden and compressed soul of a politician, shingles sag toward the earth and crush anything in their path. I might as well have been stacking depleted uranium. You don’t know heavy until you’ve played with shingles. Continue reading →

There is some sort of “if it saves one life” rule that if you hold a cell phone to your ear while driving a commercial truck, the cops punch you in the balls and ship you to Guantanamo. I never talk on the phone while driving (privately or commercially). Why? Because I’m driving dammit! However, should I, in a moment of weakness, answer a call while at the wheel of a dump truck I’m suddenly a terrorist. Continue reading →

My fuse was lit again. What good can come of a unit of 97.9 square feet? Those Godless bastards had gone too far! I started winding up for a righteous speech about how 100 square feet is reasonable and everyone else needs to have my foot kicked so far up their… At this juncture Mrs. Curmudgeon said some soothing words (“shut up fool and pay the man”). Well said dear. Continue reading →