Category Archives: Lesbian Squirrels

Lesbian Squirrels: Part 1: Edward’s Multidimensional Faceplant

[This post was originally presented to a smaller audience on September 19th, 2016. A few days later squirrels hacked my blog and posted it to a wider audience. Squirrels understand that information, like bullshit, wants to be free.] Most creatures, raptors included, … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 7: A Sudden But Inevitable Betrayal

“Bear lives matter! Bear lives matter! Bear lives matter!” Bart was so infuriated with racist dogs and racist eagles and all the unfair cretins who took the food that was his because he wanted it that he was seeing red. … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 6

The Curmudgeon eased the rifle up and over the log. He didn’t know if bears got rabies or what but whatever that bear was doing was unnatural. Also, he couldn’t figure out what was going on with the skunk at … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 5

Edward waited for the human to do something. What was taking so long? Finally, the Curmudgeon reached into his pack and withdrew one of those small computational devices humans stare at whenever they get confused. Edward couldn’t make heads or … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 4

After seeing the scary lawnmower, Bart needed to get his courage up again. Unlike Bart, Sammy was always ready for a fight but Bart had full intention outliving Sammy by years and years.Bart wasn’t alone in this. Throughout the forest most woodland creatures … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 3

Sammy skunk had decided that the only reason a white dog would bark at a black bear was racism. The obvious solution to such an unforgiveable sin was, in Sammy’s eyes, to ‘stink ‘em up!’ Edward eagle tried to defuse … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 2

While Bart the bear merely complained about the cruelty of the universe, Sammy the skunk ranted. “Dogs are pussies! You just stink them and then they run away. If you’re lucky you get the human too. Teach ‘em a lesson!” … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 1

Bart the bear was pissed off. It had started out as a fabulous day but in midmorning the shit hit the fan. Now he was digging through a stump eating grubs instead of the delicious apples a bear like him … Continue reading

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Bear Encounter: Part 0

“It was a bear!” Mrs. Curmudgeon was telling me the story of a bear that appeared in our backyard. The Cliffs Notes version is that the dog needed to go out to pee and when Mrs. Curmudgeon took the dog … Continue reading

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