Category Archives: Lesbian Squirrels

Billy and Doogie had just started mopping the floor when ECTO1 nearly plowed into the store. Achmed blinked in confusion. Doogie looked pensive. Billy beamed. Nothing says America like a private freelance ghost extermination team. “Who ya’ gonna’ call?” Billy … Continue reading →

Twitch’s arrival, like all of Twitch’s arrivals, was a whirlwind of chaos presaging the greater tragedy to come. If Twitch had been a skilled driver, his screeching, sliding, sirens-wailing near crash would be a manly ode to Dukes of Hazard … Continue reading →

Twitch MacGuffin made bad choices. The evidence of this was… everything. Twitch had, of his own volition, chosen comic book colorist as his career. He’d inexplicably expected this to lead to money, respect, and women; in that order. So certain … Continue reading →

For years, Billy had chafed under the blatant misdirection of Federal Reserve Notes. “Here’s some green paper. Before you were born it was backed by gold but now there’s no gold in the vault and inflation chews your ass while … Continue reading →

The music returned. Doogie pleasurably nodded his head with the sweet melody. In the nearby convenience store Billy glanced over, saw Doogie smiling, and went back to whatever he was doing. What was left of Doogie’s intellect knew the squirrel’s … Continue reading →

The entire staff of the new tri-county, anti-drug, community interdiction, special programs, environmental task force team, pilot project were pensive. All two of them. Their “stakeout” wasn’t helping. After various home appliances and a cat had flown from the window … Continue reading →

“Bullshit”, Doogie thought, “is there no power that can stop it?” Doogie was engaged in the biggest intellectual duel he’d ever known. Bullshit is all powerful. He had to accept the truth. He’d already lost. Mind manipulation works even when … Continue reading →

Billy glanced at the car again. Doogie was bobbing his head in time to some unheard song. Good. This meant there was time for coffee. This was new. Instead of crusty unwashed industrial sized coffee machines with tanks full of … Continue reading →

As he assessed the store, Billy’s heart soared. “This is it!” He mused to himself. “This is the mighty engine of capitalism, harnessed at the yoke, existing only to serve me.” He breathed it all in; flickering fluorescent lights, lottery … Continue reading →

Billy stood before the big glass doors and smiled. It was an all-night convenience store. It was devoid of customers, except Billy. It was all for him! He took a step forward and the doors opened noiselessly. Merely a matter … Continue reading →