Category Archives: Homesteading

Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread III: Equipment

Don’t let these objects commingle with the rest of the measuring devices in the kitchen. These are yours. These are for your full assault on the bread monopoly that’s keeping it’s boot heel on our collective neck. Like weaponry, your bread tools are now mission critical implements which should be properly stored where you and only you can access them. Continue reading

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Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread II: Workspace

Remove the doily that inexplicably sits in the center and take the opportunity to dispose of the ridiculous scented candle that sits on the doily. (Toss it in the trash and blame the cat.) Now make some bacon. Why? Because it’s bacon. Do you need a reason to enjoy bacon? Continue reading

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Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread I: Motivation

Don’t think “I shall make a loaf of bread”…that’s too wimpy. Think manly; “I’m gonna’ bake the shit out of a loaf of bread!” Closer but not enough. Try this “Those son of a bitches at corporate bread are never going to see another damn penny of my money!” Yeah, that’s it! Continue reading

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Curmudgeonly Cooking: Bread 0: Class Prerequisite

Soon I’m going to launch into a multi-part series of essays that expound on recent bread baking successes at Curmudgeon compound. You were warned. There’s a prerequisite for this free lecture series / class / ramble / rant / unexpected shouting. I implore you to buy (or steal) the book I’ve recommended. Trust me…it’s worth it. Continue reading

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Culinary Report

Wild rice (gathered by canoe!) with slow cooked chicken (downsized the flock!).  Fresh ground whole wheat baked into bread and served hot with melting butter. Beer. Apple crisp for desert. Absolutely nothing fancy.  Delicious!  A good meal should pass the … Continue reading

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Grandma Bread

Getting cooking advice from me is ironic. I do not cook…I kill stuff, eat things, and manufacture food. Cooking is, to me, a means to an end; the “end” of course is not starving (and avoiding the ingestion of shit). Continue reading

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Grandma Test Win!

Strike back against the high fructose monosodium enhanced concentrated wombat shit we are trained to unthinkingly shovel into our gaping American maws. Real food is delicious, healthy, cheap, and kicks ass. Continue reading

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Word For The Day: Grandma Test

Grandma Test – noun: The evaluation of prepared food before it is eaten in the light of what someone’s grandma in 1880 would think of it. Continue reading

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The Tractor Of The Damned: Part III

So I said “fuck it”. Time to “go redneck”. Starters are for pussies. I decided to use a truck to pull the son of a bitch until it coughed to life or I got my frustrations out. Continue reading

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Mystery Plumbing IV

OK the panic is over. Civilization didn’t collapse. No chickens died. The ice rink is still under a quarter acre. No pipes were harmed in the making of this movie. Continue reading

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