Category Archives: Homesteading

It’s time to practice homesteading Yoga. Step one is to start your tractor. Continue reading →

Here’s a useful homesteading hint; once a galvanized waterer freezes you’ll tear your spine out trying to bust it open it to chip away the ice and add more water. I have nicknamed galvanized waterers “the spittoons of Satan” and am forwarding my chiropractic bills to the chickens. Continue reading →

“I am man.” I addressed the tree. “I have an oversized turbo charged simian brain. It has one purpose…to dominate everything. I’m on the top of the food chain because I damn well belong there. I have a powersaw. I have opposable thumbs. My species invented beer, nuclear weapons, and ice hockey. We cannot be defeated. I’m going to find your weakness, I’m going to exploit it, and I’m going to win!” Continue reading →

Curmudgeon Compound has an impressive TV antenna which came with the place.  I never hooked it up because fuck television! I’m lazy. The past few mornings a woodpecker has been earnestly hammering away at the tall metal support pole.  I’ve … Continue reading →

Homesteading is a mysteriously complex activity; beset with obscure and improbably strange challenges.  There comes a time when your hands are half frozen and you’ve used your last match and you think to yourself that any activity involving a propane … Continue reading →

Flour is the victim of historic oddities which have made something simple into something complex. I blame the whole thing on Wonder Bread and early 20th century urbanisation. (I told you it was boring!) Continue reading →

You’re going to need salt, yeast, flour, and gluten. Each of these things is so earth-shatteringly cheap that you should buy a lot of them. Why? Because they store forever (almost) and it sucks to go to grocery stores. Also you might want to make bread during the zombie apocalypse. Continue reading →