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Category Archives: Garagineering
Cookstove! The Middle
It took a while, but with a great deal of grunting and swearing (and wishing my strength was a little better; I haven’t been firing on all cylinders lately) I managed to get the job done. I repositioned the stove, … Continue reading
Posted in Betsy The Woodstove
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Cookstove! The Beginning
Sometimes things work out. Yeah, I know. I’m as surprised as you are. I think I’ve had an actual documented homesteader success. I should quit while I’m ahead! Here’s the story. Curmudgeon Compound’s garage came with a useless, warped, rusted, … Continue reading
Posted in Betsy The Woodstove
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Garageneering: Time Travel: Alternate Universe Ending
One response to my last post was the following: “My bet is that the redneck’s pit bull woulda had a mouthful o’ nuts as soon as you stepped on Dumbass’ hand.” Challenge Accepted! Horatio Thaddeus McSweeny, hereafter known as Dumbass, … Continue reading
Posted in Garagineering, Hot Yellow
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Garageneering: Time Travel: A Plot Twist
One of my commenters has mentioned something about rednecks and pitbulls as a hole in my perfectly reasonable plot. There will be a new alternate, alternate, post shortly.
Posted in Garagineering, Hot Yellow
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Garageneering: Time Travel
The retrofit of a decrepit garage was going poorly. The Curmudgeon, being Adaptive and all, realized the solution to this wasn’t in the present. It was with the dipshit that made the mess in the first place. So he retreated … Continue reading
Posted in Garagineering, Hot Yellow
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The Unstoppable: Eddie Alterman
…because driving is art and beauty. A moron strapped in a minivan who can barely point the lever at D and keep it between the lines is not “driving”. That’s a disappointment as fulfilling as a Cheeze-wiz sandwich and as graceful as a kick to the groin. Continue reading
Tractor Of The Damned: Part IX (A New Dawn After Dipstick’s Mistake)
It is possible that I had this coming. It is possible that we all live many lives. It is possible that in my last life I was really really bad. Possibly a cackling maniac who carjacked nuns, stole candy from babies, and invested stranger’s money in Enron stock. This could be the reason why every machinist, mechanic, or Dipstick who’d gone near the tractor had done worse than wrong but practically sabotaged it. Continue reading
Posted in Garagineering, Tractor Of The Damned
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Tractor Of The Damned: Part VIII (Dipstick Is Saved By Chickadees)
I set down the vice grip and we rolled the tractor out of the garage. Outside the sun was shining and my beloved chickadees were calling. The smoke was already dissipating. God wants us to forgive. I like chickadees. Continue reading
Posted in Garagineering, Tractor Of The Damned
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Tractor Of The Damned: Part VII (Dipstick’s Diagnosis)
So long as a beer was in one hand and a cigarette in the other, Dipstick seemed confident. For about an hour he orbited the tractor while I offered wrenches or turned the hand crank. (It has a “backup” hand … Continue reading
Posted in Garagineering, Tractor Of The Damned
10 Comments
Tractor Of The Damned: Part VI (Meet Mr. Dipstick)
After a few calls I’d arranged for the fellow to come look at my tractor. I’ve since forgotten his name. Probably because of the trauma. For now I’ll call him Dipstick. Continue reading
Posted in Garagineering, Tractor Of The Damned
8 Comments