Author Archives: AdaptiveCurmudgeon

…that love is what makes a Subaru. Really? I prefer vehicles made out of metal. It’s a shame because a Subaru made of metal might appeal to me but one made of love smells like bullshit. Moreover I’m wearing deodorant … Continue reading →

I invented Obamacare Bingo(1) but this is even better! As always you should Listen to Uncle Jay. (1) No you may not see the Obamacare bingo cards.  You’ll just have to live through it.

I hate rationalization. If you want loud pipes have at it. (Though keeping them quieter than a screeching chainsaw being raped by a mutant amplified bagpipe would show a hint of good character.) Quit trying to come up with some bullshit safety based pretzel logic to explain that you installed “bitchin’ loud thunder pipes” for safety. Nobody on planet earth is fooled by your dumbass rationalizations so just quit pretending. Enjoy loud pipes because it’s fun to be obnoxiously loud. How hard is that? Continue reading →

…something odd about this post: Angry Vermont farmer crushes 7 police cruisers with tractor “…Orleans County sheriff’s deputies didn’t know what was happening in their parking lot until a neighbor called 911. A man on a big farm tractor, angry … Continue reading →

Given the choice, there are places I’d rather visit than Chicago. For example, Chernobyl or Marquis De Sade’s basement. Sadly, I was forced to travel through Chicago; or as I like to call it Modor in the Midwest. Continue reading →

I’m ‘Merican, a victim of public schooling, and a blogger. It should be happy I’m literate at all. Spell check is a metaphor for the government. Continue reading →

The following post has no point or defining theme: What is it with Gershwin? It’s almost embarrassing to like his fluff derived of showtunes and lullabies; yet he was brilliant. If you can sit on my porch swing in July and not hear “Summertime” you’re a mutant. Continue reading →

Until recently the world was a better place. This is because I did not own Crocs. Continue reading →