Author Archives: AdaptiveCurmudgeon

The TV loomed. Actually I hate TV. What loomed was the thought of a future discussion with Mrs. Curmudgeon. “You shot a hole in it!?!” She’d scream. I’d hold up a dead chipmunk. “Do you have any idea how much a TV costs?” She’d continue. Continue reading →

I forced myself back on track again. “Seek the intruder, kill it, then drink beer.” Mission statement fully articulated, I stormed into the basement. Continue reading →

The chipmunk flitted into the crawlspace and disappeared. The cat lost interest again. The human began cursing. That guy sure had an elaborate vocabulary. The cat immediately went to her box to take a big smelly dump which the human would eventually have to clean up. Being a cat rocks. Continue reading →

One chipmunk was different. He was a coddled beast. He had too much self esteem. He’d been given thirty seven consecutive blue ribbons for “most improved” in chipmunk school. He was confident in his belief that he was the best, most excellent, of all chipmunks ever. He desperately wanted an iPhone 5 so he could communicate this fact to the universe. Continue reading →

The Mongol Horde called “winter” is camped on the plains just beyond the horizon. It is preparing to do us in. Soon it’ll charge into our region and the war will begin. Nobody will be spared. Cars will rust, batteries will freeze, and checking accounts will be depleted. Only the strong will survive. Continue reading →

In October Curmudgeon Compound was attacked by zombies critters.  I wrote a story describing my brave fight against the forces of darkness furry invaders and my massive victory minor success in defending the homeland. Then, because I was busy doing … Continue reading →

This engine is like a Formula 1 race car had sex with a steamshovel. I was lost. Continue reading →

Once I had everything lined out I was shocked at what I saw. It seems like you can’t turn over a rock without the Government forming a rock relocation committee. I assumed the workforce has been growing like a waistline … Continue reading →

In case you’ve been battered by markteters or hammered by travel I give you the words of Linus. Merry Christmas from the Curmudgeon.

The Internet is my friend. Data can hammer beautiful fictions into dust faster than you can say “bullshit detection” and the Internet is awash with data. It took no time at all to find a chart with the number of … Continue reading →