Author Archives: AdaptiveCurmudgeon

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.

Test

Posted on May 20, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

This is a test. If it were a real post it would have content. Mind you it might be pathetic but there’d be verbiage dammit. B i U S quote Junk One Two Three Dot Dot Dot More crap.

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Beard Truth

Posted on May 16, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

A beard is not plumage; its whatever comes out of your face if you don’t run a knife over it daily, unless you’re female or Woody Allen, in which case you ought to get that shit checked out. This truth, like life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, is self-evident. Continue reading →

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A Bad Choice

Posted on May 7, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Nothing good comes from Chinese food cooked to the sounds of Lenard Skinner. Continue reading →

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Earth Day (Belated): Part II

Posted on April 30, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

I’m pretty sure Gaia, if she could talk, would be perfectly happy with a drunk redneck snoozing under a hemlock. Continue reading →

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Earth Day (Belated): Part I

Posted on April 29, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Earth Day was conceived in a dark room smelling of choom and student loans in an unholy alliance of Malthusian misfits and political fluffers so far left they’d make Trotsky look mellow. They decided to create Kwanzaa’s retarded half brother to beg for more Federal Regulation. It was exactly like what you’re picturing in your head. Now, go wash your hands. Continue reading →

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Off Grid / Microenvironment

Posted on April 21, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Captain Capitalism wisely coined the term “microenvironment” and implores you to control it. You should venture forth and read what he has to say. Here’s a quote to whet your appetite: Continue reading →

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Angry Clown II

Posted on April 17, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

“Did a big mean clown just call you a loser?” He asked. I nodded. “Yes.” Continue reading →

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Angry Clown I

Posted on April 16, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

If you’ve got a shit job, do it well. I was excellent at my shit job because being excellent feels good. Continue reading →

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Dog Logic And Firewood Levers: Part III

Posted on March 30, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

I was cold, stuck in the snow, and on a fools errand. I was in a Jack London story. You know what ties together all those guys who died in Jack London’s books? None were holding a long handled round pointed shovel. Losers! Continue reading →

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Dog Logic And Firewood Levers: Part II

Posted on March 29, 2014 by AdaptiveCurmudgeon

“It is -16 in March and you’re standing next to a shoulder high pile of snow. From my point of view this is the firewood equivalent of the zombie apocalypse.” Continue reading →

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