Author Archives: AdaptiveCurmudgeon

The entire staff of the new tri-county, anti-drug, community interdiction, special programs, environmental task force team, pilot project were pensive. All two of them. Their “stakeout” wasn’t helping. After various home appliances and a cat had flown from the window … Continue reading →

“Bullshit”, Doogie thought, “is there no power that can stop it?” Doogie was engaged in the biggest intellectual duel he’d ever known. Bullshit is all powerful. He had to accept the truth. He’d already lost. Mind manipulation works even when … Continue reading →

Billy glanced at the car again. Doogie was bobbing his head in time to some unheard song. Good. This meant there was time for coffee. This was new. Instead of crusty unwashed industrial sized coffee machines with tanks full of … Continue reading →

As he assessed the store, Billy’s heart soared. “This is it!” He mused to himself. “This is the mighty engine of capitalism, harnessed at the yoke, existing only to serve me.” He breathed it all in; flickering fluorescent lights, lottery … Continue reading →

Billy stood before the big glass doors and smiled. It was an all-night convenience store. It was devoid of customers, except Billy. It was all for him! He took a step forward and the doors opened noiselessly. Merely a matter … Continue reading →

Achmed Hussein Muhammad adjusted his cheap polyester uniform and took a deep breath. He needed this. Grievance Studies was a surprisingly difficult major. There was just so much bullshit to learn. Every “fact” was contradicted by some other “fact” and … Continue reading →

In case you were afraid I’d started taking life seriously (as if!), put that concern out of your head right now. I hereby declare this week will be exclusively squirrels. The next several posts will explore the Church of Awesome, … Continue reading →