Motorcycle Optimism; Still Snowing But I’m Upgrading

I have a 1989 Honda Pacific Coast (PC800) motorcycle. I named it Marshmallow Fluff. I love that oddball bike. I bought it in 2023 with the intention of motocamping/touring; ideally far from Interstates but still pavement based.

The PC800 won’t be my first motorcycle for long distance road trips. I’ve gone cross country many times with my beloved vibrating chrome and black Harley-ripoff 1999 Honda Shadow. I’ve done it enough that I can’t recall how many times. However, I… well the word isn’t “grow out” because I still love my Shadow… but something happened.

The Shadow is a cruiser and cruisers are awesome… until they’re not. When I bought it (26 years ago) there was nothing in my mind but black and chrome cruisers. Non-cruiser bikes didn’t really exist in my mind. Now, decades later, I’m a little “cruisered out”.

Maybe it’s an age thing? Does there come a time in your life when you realize you’re rumbling around in a chromed up contraption that is stylistically based on a 1940’s machine and say “why“? Why are we all acting like a 1940’s V-twin the apex of human achievement? What seemed like the ultimate option now seems like a Boomerific time warp. The 1940’s were OK but not every vehicle has to look like a Studebaker. Imagine if every car out there, from Honda Civics to GMC SUVs to Toyota trucks all had stylistic cues from a Chevy Bel Aire. It would be cool at first, but then weird.

I don’t know why my tastes changed. It’s just something that happened. First I bought a dirt bike and then I bought the oddball PC800. I also stopped drinking beer and gained a taste for bourbon. Is it an old-guy thing? Lord help me!

Anyway, the PC800’s weirdly engineered and super-huge waterproof saddlebags are what I really wanted. (I call it a “bedonkadonk”.) The strange trunk is so damn handy! Much less hassle than strapping shit down on the Shadow (or any standard cruiser).

Also, I find it amusing that the “underpowered” 800 cubic centimeter PC800 is zippier than the beefy rumbling 1,100 cubic centimeters of my “generic cruiser”. It even gets better MPG (just a hair under 50 MPG which ain’t bad). (For comparison, an 1800CC Goldwing, which is what I was originally planning to buy gets MPG in the low 30’s.)

Small engines (on motorcycles!) aren’t boring. Who knew?!? This is a thing learned late in life. It’s my archaic single cylinder 200cc dirt bike that taught me the truth. Displacement ain’t all that and a bag of chips. My tiny dirt bike with its ridiculously huge traction monster of a rear wheel will gladly drag my ass through, over, around, and directly into anywhere I point it. The limit is not power, it’s if I can hang on. (Notice, I’m not talking about speed so much as brawn.)

Similarly, my 800 weirdmobile zips along at 80 MPH like it’s not breaking a sweat; because it isn’t. It won’t smoke a sportbike and that’s not what it’s for, but that mildly tuned 800cc will readily move your ass down the road like a magic carpet.

I wonder sometimes what my cruiser is doing with all its spare displacement? Is it all for rumble and roar? It sounds awesome and feels great… so maybe that’s exactly what it’s doing.

(Side note: The Goldwing’s flat opposed 6 cylinder engine is less “yet another motorcycle engine” than “such a marvel of technology that it’s a joy knowing they exist”. The power delivery is less “zippy zoom” than the silent, inexorable, soul-rending, might of a nuclear reactor. I can’t mock the Goldwing’s massive overkill 1,800cc powerplant because it’s so goddamn perfectly engineered. Goldwings might have the best engine to exist on planet earth.)

2023 was a hard year so no motorcycle trips happened. In 2024, I didn’t get do many road trips but I rode my tiny Yamaha TW200 halfway across Wyoming on trails; camping as I traveled. (The WYBDR.) The TW200 (Honey Badger) is slow, cheap, and uncomfortable… so of course I had the time of my life! (The whole story is under Walkabouts: 2024 Summer. Here are a few random photos.)

I only took the PC800 motocamping once. I did a late fall overnight at a tame State Park just to test the idea. It performed flawlessly.

When snow hit the bikes were parked and life slowed down. I wanted to winter camp but it just wasn’t in the cards. I’m glad I didn’t go because I got sicker than a dog. I would’ve blamed it on the campout. Getting sick without a campout spares me blaming myself.

Gradually, my health has improved. Spring hints it’ll arrive (late as usual). I’m impatient; a dog pulling on the leash, cabin fever bouncing around my head, flat out desperate to be not-indoors. Unfortunately, even though it’s mid-April, it’s thoroughly mud season. Everything is wet and slimy. It’s a terrible time to play outdoors. Dammit!


Rather than bitch about the weather, I tweaked my little PC800 to make it more “travel worthy”. (BTW: I call it “little” because the bike is unassuming but it’s actually quite porky. In the garage, it’s both bigger and heavier than it “feels” when you’re riding. Maybe it seems “little” to me because I compare it to Goldwings, the ultimate “Imperial Starcruiser” scaled road ham. I test rode several used Goldwings before selecting the PC800. Goldwings are awesome but I preferred the PC800 for strange reasons. I wanted something simpler, liked the trunk, and was smitten by the “button free” interface.)

For my “test camp” last year. I strapped a sleeping bag and tent to the rear passenger seat. Everything else rode in the funky, one of a kind, trunk. My stuff rode like it was welded to the frame. Nice!

I have a non-OEM Corbin Seat with an add-on passenger backrest. The driver’s seat is old and a little hard. I’d like to replace it but it’s not like I’ll find a custom seat for a 36 year old bike at Wal-Mart. The rear seat is irrelevant. I don’t have passengers on my bike. Mrs. Curmudgeon announced her motorcycle days are over. I can respect that.

If you’re gonna’ ride solo, why have a passenger backrest? So, I removed it.

That part you just removed? Put it up against the wall!

My goal was to install a cargo rack. Cargo racks extend behind the (in my case non-existent) passenger. Lots of people put a trunk there. Most fat touring bikes have a trunk waaaaay back there. Check out any Goldwing “Superslab Computer”, Harley “Untriked Bagger”, or BMW “Megapayment”. (Don’t hate me for mocking perfectly good bikes. It’s all in good fun.)

I don’t know if I want a trunk, but I want a rack that could support one. I found one on Ebay and it was cheap! I bought it fast. You don’t find accessories for 36 year old bikes just hanging around.

So I uninstalled the rear seat and popped off the passenger’s backrest. Easy peasy. I was going to slap on the cargo rack but a wing was in the way. WTF?!?

My PC800 came with a “wing”. Why? I have no idea! It just sits there doing fuck-all. Someone somewhere must have thought it was cool. The 1980’s was a weird time. I was there and a whole lotta’ stupid was going on. It’s not aerodynamically necessary so I never liked it.

Also, it’s right where you’d put your hands when you lift the trunk yet it’s not rugged enough to serve that purpose. Some previous owner made that mistake and damaged the wing. The subsequently “fixed” wing is good enough for a non-essential farkle. I still think it’s  silly. Check out the repairs. Could be a few years old, could be decades. I’ve no idea. Regardless, now it’s gone.

The biggest drawback to a PC800 is all the acres of “plastic” Honda wrapped around the engine. (It’s probably fiberglass but PC800 owners call it “Tupperwear”).

I see what Honda was trying to do and it was a reasonable idea. Unfortunately, all that “Tupperwear” scared regular motorcycle people away. There’s an irony in this. Every car on the road is sheathed in plastics and body panels. Do the same on a motorcycle and it’s “too hard to work on”. I don’t know why.

Indeed it was a bit of a puzzle. I had to pull literally a dozen screws to get to a secondary thing that didn’t seem to interact with anything else. I did this to access the back of 2 of the 4 mounts for the completely unnecessary wing.

Nothing was too hard. Nothing was impossible. But with 36 year old plastics, one must move with caution. I’ve seen PC800’s that have been owned by impatient gorillas who just couldn’t grok the subtlety. One guy attacked the battery compartment with a hacksaw. The proper access to the battery is not immediately obvious and it’s somewhat involved. On the other hand, what kind of moron will literally cut away materials rather than use his monkey brain to figure out the factory intended installation process? (I test drove that bike but didn’t buy it. Any owner who’ll hacksaw his way to a battery has surely done abusive things to the rest of the bike.)

Unlike the gorilla owner, I invested in a shop manual. I got it when (because!) I chose to buy a weird bike. I also have oodles of patience. I figured it out.

Soon I’d removed the wing. There are holes where mounting bolts went. There are many ways to solve that problem (including flat out ignoring it). I went with the simplest and only a few steps above ignoring it.

I bought bolts to fit that spot and nice rubber washers. In a fit of vanity, I bought $4 chrome round topped hex head bolts instead of $0.20 pot metal. They look absolutely adequate. I could patch and sand and paint but fuck that. This is a riding bike, not Orange County Choppers. Assuming the bolt holes don’t leak (and I think they won’t) I’ll soon forget they exist.

I got everything buttoned back up and it didn’t look half bad. I’m pleased with what I’ve done. My moron level mechanical skills interacted with the PC800’s fearsome Tupperware and nothing wound up broke!

I think the rack will be perfect for strapping down tents and sleeping bags and such. I planned a “shakeout” ride for the next day. I decided to strap down the tent & sleeping bag for a full test.

Overnight, it snowed! The bike and I are grounded once again.

Sigh…

About AdaptiveCurmudgeon

Adaptive Curmudgeon is handsome, brave, and wise.
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