Squirrel Update

I did a thing! I wrote the conclusion! I’ve been hammering away at Attack of the Lesbian Activist Squirrels since 2016. Eight years! Finally, the story has a proper ending!

I always wanted it to be a complete story. I didn’t want a series that goes forever until it leaves you hanging. I intended for an arc. I did it!

I have met and defeated the last chapter!

I’m relieved. I’m fried. I’m about to collapse.

Don’t panic. This isn’t the end. I’ve got enough ideas to keep me writing forever. My immediate goal is merely practical. I want to get the full novel hammered into stone lest it remain forever draft. Draft is not done. I wish to take the whole trip to “final”. It is harder than it sounds.

I know what you’re thinking. You want to know when you can read it? Will it go live on Amazon? Will Amazon tell me I’m a deplorable bastard who can’t live in their woke universe? If so will I sell it via my blog? Will it be on Kindle? Will it be on dead tree? Both? How much? Am I going to post some or all for free like I’ve been doing?

The answer to all of those questions is “I don’t know yet”.

You’re thinking it’ll be fast. Will it go for sale next week? On Tuesday? On Wednesday?

Sorry, but it’s not going to happen like that. It’s going to take a while. Maybe 6 months. I’m only human.

Also this is merely the first draft of the last three chapters. I absolutely will tear it apart and rewrite it. Not once or twice but probably a dozen times. I always do. I don’t know any other way to make my best work. At least I came to a conclusion. Let me savor the moment eh?

Some details; I provide these so you know I’m not blowing smoke up your ass:

The portion already posted on my blog is:

• • About 100,000 words (give or take).
  • About 147 posts (give or take).

The unposted conclusion is:

• • About 30,000 words (more or less).
  • About 28 posts (more or less).
  • The whole thing, posted and not posted, goes to about 650 pages (depending on formatting).

I think it’s going to go about 5,000 words longer than that. I want to write an epilogue. I know; that’s more writing and delay. I should rip the Band-Aid off! But I need (want?) it for the plot. Also it helps me taper my “cold turkey” moment.

There are many details. Keep in mind that scaling up from “random blogging” to “650 page novel” involves a bunch of tasks in addition to writing:

I don’t have an editor. I don’t know any editors. I work completely in a vacuum. The last final edit is going to take a while. I might be looking for a volunteer to read it for continuity.

There are people who know how to format for Kindle. I’m not one of those people.

There are people who know how to format for Print On Demand (POD) dead tree books. I’m not one of those either. The POD book will be huge; more like big old timey SciFi paperbacks and less like modern “short books”. I don’t know how much all those pages and binding will add to costs. Right now, I’m not planning hardcover.

Nor do I have a book cover. I just finished typing. So many details!

I’m also struggling with WordPress. A single topic that’s 150-200 posts is a bigger problem than my modest skills. I tried categorizing and stuff this spring and it messed everything up. If the “password” stuff annoys you I’m sorry. I messed it up and haven’t “unmessed it”. If y’all know anyone who’s a WordPress person (or are one), I’m seeking help. This could be a paid thing. I’m not made of money but I know when I’m beat.

Speaking of money, several readers made large generous donations over the years. I’m super grateful! Y’all kept the project going! Literally there are many times when I wanted to stop but then I’d be like “someone sent a donation… back to work”. I’d like to somehow acknowledge that. (Not sure how.) I didn’t keep official records so I don’t know who did what. In case you’re wondering, I spent most of the money on “infrastructure” (hosting costs and a NAS, etc…) When I was really lucky, a few donations went to “inspiration” (motorcycle gas and whiskey). If you tossed a C note at me or whatever, feel free to send me a gentle reminder.

One last note. I’m fried and July has been weird. I’m planning a “wilderness adventure” to get my head back in the game. I’m giving myself a break from thinking and will go play in the mountains. I won’t be messing with the squirrels (probably) for a month or more. Hopefully, I’ll have a clear head for that last bought of rewrites. A month off every 8 years ain’t too bad.

If you want to support my search for a WordPress guru and someone to do a cover and stuff. Please click below. If you want to pitch in for motorcycle gas and maybe a tent. Please click below. As always, if you’re tapped out, I get it. Take care of yourself first.